40+ Best 'The Umbrella Academy' Quotes | Scattered Quotes

The Umbrella Academy Quotes

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Number Five: We use my ability to time travel. But this time, I'll take you with me.

Diego Hargreeves: You can do that?

Number Five: I don't know. I've never tried it before.

Diego Hargreeves: What's the worst that can happen?

Number Five: You're lookin' at it. A 58-year-old man inside a child's body, so there's that.

Diego Hargreeves: Oh, what the hell? I'm in.

Klaus Hargreeves: Yeah, whatever. I'm in.

Luther Hargreeves: Me too. Allison? (she nodds yes) What about Ben? (Ben nodds yes too)

Klaus Hargreeves: Great, yeah, he's in.

Number Five: Billions of people are about to die tonight. You can change that.

The Handler: Tonight, tomorrow. So little difference in the scheme of things. Don't you remember the Commission's raison d'etre? What's meant to be is meant to be, or, as I like to say, que será, será.

Number Five: It's bullsh*t in any language.

(Guys with guns show up...)

Diego Hargreeves: Who the hell are these guys?

Klaus Hargreeves: Maybe they're here for Kenny's birthday!

Luther Hargreeves: No, I'm pretty sure they're here for us!

(Five returns Delores to the display at the store...)

Number Five (to Delores): I bet it feels good to be back... amongst your friends. And it's okay, you can... say it. We always were an unlikely pair. This isn't easy for me, Delores, and I... I want you to know that I cherish every single minute I ever shared with you, all 23 and a half million of them. A lifetime. Now look at us. We're lucky enough, we get a second one. Yeah. You are right. I do have a lot of growing up to do. I'll never forget you, Delores.

(On his way out of the store...)

Number Five: Excuse me, miss?

Shop assistant: Yeah?

Number Five: Could you give that mannequin something new to wear? She likes sequins.

Hazel: Think about it like this. If you never time traveled, you never got caught up with the Handler, what would have happened?

Number Five: I guess I would have grown up to be an emotionally stunted man-child like everybody else around here.

Hazel: Well, there you go. Now you can grow up. Good luck.

Ben Hargreeves: You know, I'm tired of seeing you wallow in self-defeat.

Klaus Hargreeves: Well, then avert your gaze.

Ben Hargreeves: You're better than that. And Dave? He knew it, too.

Klaus Hargreeves: Yeah, you're right. You're right. I'm... I'm... I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Ben Hargreeves: Thank God.

Klaus Hargreeves: Psych! (puts the drugs in his mouth and laughs)

(Ben punches him and makes him spit it out in the process...)

Klaus Hargreeves: Ow! You just Patrick Swayzeed me. How did you do that?

Ben Hargreeves: Uh, I... I didn't. You did. I think.

Allison Hargreeves (to Vanya): When we were four, Dad told us you were sick. You had to be isolated. We were so young. None of us knew to question it. But then he asked me to do something I never understood... until now.

(Flashback to little Allison and Vanya)

Allison Hargreeves (to Vanya): I heard a rumor... you think you're just ordinary.

Klaus Hargreeves: You know, I suggest you get down off your high horse there, dear Papa. You never had our best interests at heart. Look at your precious Number One. Luther found all the unopened letters he'd sent you. He knows that you sent him up to the Moon for nothing.

Reginald Hargreeves: That was foolish of me. I should have burned it all.

Klaus Hargreeves: That's your takeaway? Oh, wow. Yeah, course it is.

Klaus Hargreeves: Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah. Careful, Dad.

Reginald Hargreeves: Don't worry. You're already dead.

Klaus Hargreeves: Oh. Well, that's a relief.

Allison Hargreeves (to Diego): Be careful, okay? We don't know what Peabody's capable of.

Diego Hargreeves: Yeah, he didn't seem dangerous when I first saw him. Looked kinda scrawny.

Allison Hargreeves: Yeah, well, so are most serial killers and mass murderers. I mean, look at him. (gestures at Five)

Number Five: Thanks.

Diego Hargreeves: Good point.

Hazel (about a bird): Look at him. When he's hungry, he eats, when he's tired, he nests, when he's horny, he screws, free to be free. Pretty sure they got it figured out.

Cha-Cha: And what's that?

Hazel: A simple life with a partner. Sometimes what you want's right in front of you. By the time you realize it, it's too late.

The Umbrella Academy Quotes

The Umbrella Academy Quotes


Format: TV Series
Genres: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Drama, Fantasy, Sci-Fi
Produced by: Netflix
Release Date: 15 February 2019

Synopsis / Summary

In an inexplicable worldwide event, forty-three extraordinary children were spontaneously born by women who’d previously shown no signs of pregnancy. Millionaire inventor Reginald Hargreeves adopted seven of the children; when asked why, his only explanation was, “To save the world.” (Fandom.com)

Characters / Cast

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A-Z List of Characters

Character Played by
Allison Hargreeves Emmy Raver-Lampman
Diego Hargreeves David Castañeda
Klaus Hargreeves Robert Sheehan
Luther Hargreeves Tom Hopper
Number Five Aidan Gallagher
Vanya Hargreeves Ellen Page