40+ Best 'Klaus Hargreeves' Quotes | Scattered Quotes

Klaus Hargreeves Quotes

Latest quotes added:

Luther Hargreeves (about Reginald): He's an alien.

Klaus Hargreeves: We're trying not to use that kinda terminology here. And I know, it's whoa PC, but you could just say he's... British.

Luther Hargreeves: No, no! I mean, he's a real alien. He's like a... bug person from another planet.
23.7.2022 He’s an alien. – You could just say he’s… British.

Klaus Hargreeves: Why would you put pineapple on a pizza?

Luther Hargreeves: You know, when you think about it, we are just tiny specks of sand in a desert full of other sand.

Klaus Hargreeves: I mean, it's a garnish for cocktails, at best.

Luther Hargreeves: And that's inside solar systems. Inside deserts of galaxies.

Klaus Hargreeves: I guess the real question to ask is, why is it on my pizza!?
23.7.2022 Why would you put pineapple on a pizza? Garnish at best.

Ben Hargreeves: Why don't you like me?

Klaus Hargreeves: Because you're a huge puckering a**hole.

Ben Hargreeves: Okay, but you like the other Ben.

Klaus Hargreeves: Yeah, we love the other Ben.

Ben Hargreeves: Why? What was so special about him?

Klaus Hargreeves: Because he was a know-it-all. He was a scold. He was a tiny dark cloud on a perfect sunny day.

Ben Hargreeves: Those... Those are all bad things.

Klaus Hargreeves: Yeah, but they looked great on him.
23.7.2022 He was a tiny dark cloud on a perfect sunny day.

Klaus Hargreeves (about his dad): He helped me conquer my childhood fears. We played catch together.

Luther Hargreeves: Wait. You played catch with Dad?

Sloane Hargreeves: Really?

Klaus Hargreeves: Yeah, we call it bus-ball, but that's kind of our thing.
23.7.2022 We call it bus-ball, but that’s kind of our thing.

(Luther and Sloane are getting married...)

Klaus Hargreeves: I pronounce you married as sh*t! Viva la apocalypse!

Number Five (watching the first dance): This is officially worse than the apocalypse.
23.7.2022 This is officially worse than the apocalypse.

Reginald Hargreeves: A man is not a man until he slays the demons of his youth.

Klaus Hargreeves: Oh yeah. Good one, Obi-Wang, but my demons are literal.
23.7.2022 Good one, Obi-Wang, but my demons are literal.

Reginald Hargreeves: When you're fast enough to catch this ball, you will have succeeded.

Klaus Hargreeves: Why not? Okay. But just so you know, I have the hand-eye coordination of a drunk kitten.
23.7.2022 I have the hand-eye coordination of a drunk kitten.

Klaus Hargreeves: What I'm saying is, you were a terrible father.

Reginald Hargreeves: Yes. Picked that up. Thank you.

Klaus Hargreeves: Good.

Reginald Hargreeves: High time I made it up to you. Starting now.

Klaus Hargreeves: You just murdered me and stuffed me in the trunk of your car. I have notes, Dad.

Reginald Hargreeves: Let's not quibble over details.
23.7.2022 I have notes, Dad. – Let’s not quibble over details.

Reginald Hargreeves: What do we like to do together? For fun.

Klaus Hargreeves: I don't understand the question.

Reginald Hargreeves: Didn't we take any family trips in your timeline?

Klaus Hargreeves: With our dad? Hell no. That guy put the "dick" in dictator.
23.7.2022 That guy put the “dick” in dictator.

Reginald Hargreeves: Everything is fascinating ever since you weaned me off those damned pills. I'd like to return the favor. Help you to understand who you really are. Would you like that?

Klaus Hargreeves: There's nothing I'd like more. Other than a probiotic yogurt that doesn't make me fart.
23.7.2022 Probiotic yogurt that doesn’t make me fart.

(Klaus walks in the hotel where the Sparrows lie dead on the floor...)

Klaus Hargreeves: Oh man. Heavens to Betsy. What did you do? Did Viktor go full "Carrie" again?
23.7.2022 Did Viktor go full “Carrie” again?
Quote from The Umbrella Academy 3x03 | Reginald Hargreeves: You're the drunk one, aren't you? Klaus Hargreeves: No, no. I'm Klaus. I'm the... spiritual one.
23.7.2022 I’m Klaus. I’m the… spiritual one.

Klaus Hargreeves: You think Dad is capable of killing innocent people?

(Allison laughs)

Viktor Hargreeves: Absolutely.

Diego Hargreeves: Oh, it's Murder City, buddy.
23.7.2022 Absolutely. Oh, it’s Murder City.

Viktor Hargreeves: So I, uh, talked to Marcus last night.

Diego Hargreeves: Wait, what? You talked with the enemy? By yourself?

Viktor Hargreeves: Somebody had to do something.

Diego Hargreeves: Who elected you, Vanya?

Viktor Hargreeves: It's, uh, Viktor.

Diego Hargreeves: Who's Viktor?

Viktor Hargreeves: I am. It's who I've always been. Uh, is that an issue for anyone?

Diego Hargreeves: Nah, I'm good with it.

Klaus Hargreeves: Yeah, me too. Cool.

Number Five: Truly happy for you, Viktor. But last time I checked, you don't speak for this family.
23.7.2022 Who’s Viktor? – I am. It’s who I’ve always been.
Quote from The Umbrella Academy 3x02 | Number Five (about Lila): Technically, she's family. Klaus Hargreeves: She was trying to murder us, like, yesterday. Number Five: Yeah, like I said, "family."
23.7.2022 She was trying to murder us. – Yeah, like I said, “family.”

Character from The Umbrella Academy

The Umbrella Academy Quotes

The Umbrella Academy Quotes

Top 10 Quotes by Klaus Hargreeves from The Umbrella Academy

The Best Quotes by Klaus Hargreeves from The Umbrella Academy

 

Above you’ll find the best quotes and dialogues by Klaus Hargreeves. The quotes are sorted from the latest added.

Klaus Hargreeves is one of the siblings adopted by Reginald Hargreeves. He didn’t give his children names, but called them by numbers instead, Klaus is being called Number Four.

Klaus Hargreeves is played by the actor Robert Sheehan.

 

The pick of the top 10 one-liners said by Klaus Hargreeves:

  • “It’s a little dated, I know, but it’s very breathey on the bits.” (Klaus about a skirt – Ep. 1×01)
  • “I can’t just call Dad in the afterlife and be like, ‘Dad, could you just… stop playing tennis with Hitler for a moment and take a quick call?'” (Klaus – Ep. 1×01)
  • “Oh, wow. I know this is impossible, but… did we all get sexier?” (Klaus – Ep. 2×05)
  • “Oh, my God, again? All of you knew? Why am I always the last one to find out about the end of the… Oh, my God. My cult is gonna be so pissed. Five! I told them we had until 2019.” (Klaus – Ep. 2×05)
  • “Is it Vanya? What? It’s usually Vanya.” (Klaus – Ep. 2×05)
  • “Face it, the healthiest long-term relationship in this family was when Five was banging that mannequin. The only thing the Umbrella Academy knows about love… is how to screw it up.” (Klaus – Ep. 2×05)
  • “No, we’re amateur-fidious, at best.” (Klaus – Ep. 3×01)
  • “I’m Klaus. I’m the… spiritual one.” (Klaus – Ep. 3×03)
  • “I have the hand-eye coordination of a drunk kitten.” (Klaus – Ep. 3×07)
  • “Why would you put pineapple on a pizza? I mean, it’s a garnish for cocktails, at best.” (Klaus – Ep. 3×10)

 

One of the best quotes by Klaus Hargreeves from The Umbrella Academy | “Face it, the healthiest long-term relationship in this family was when Five was banging that mannequin. The only thing the Umbrella Academy knows about love… is how to screw it up.” (Klaus – Ep. 2×05)One of the best quotes by Klaus Hargreeves from The Umbrella Academy | “Face it, the healthiest long-term relationship in this family was when Five was banging that mannequin. The only thing the Umbrella Academy knows about love… is how to screw it up.” (Klaus – Ep. 2×05)
One of the best quotes by Klaus Hargreeves from The Umbrella Academy | “I’m Klaus. I’m the… spiritual one.” (Klaus – Ep. 3×03)One of the best quotes by Klaus Hargreeves from The Umbrella Academy | “I’m Klaus. I’m the… spiritual one.” (Klaus – Ep. 3×03)
One of the best quotes by Klaus Hargreeves from The Umbrella Academy | “Why would you put pineapple on a pizza? I mean, it’s a garnish for cocktails, at best.” (Klaus – Ep. 3×10)One of the best quotes by Klaus Hargreeves from The Umbrella Academy | “Why would you put pineapple on a pizza? I mean, it’s a garnish for cocktails, at best.” (Klaus – Ep. 3×10)

 

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