40+ Best 'Klaus Hargreeves' Quotes | Scattered Quotes

Klaus Hargreeves Quotes

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Top 10 Klaus Hargreeves Quotes from The Umbrella Academy

Read the top iconic lines by Klaus Hargreeves from the Netflix’s TV series The Umbrella Academy. Klaus is one of the siblings adopted by Reginald Hargreeves. He didn’t give his children names, but called them by numbers instead, Klaus is… Continue Reading →

Luther Hargreeves (about Reginald): He's an alien.

Klaus Hargreeves: We're trying not to use that kinda terminology here. And I know, it's whoa PC, but you could just say he's... British.

Luther Hargreeves: No, no! I mean, he's a real alien. He's like a... bug person from another planet.

Klaus Hargreeves: Why would you put pineapple on a pizza?

Luther Hargreeves: You know, when you think about it, we are just tiny specks of sand in a desert full of other sand.

Klaus Hargreeves: I mean, it's a garnish for cocktails, at best.

Luther Hargreeves: And that's inside solar systems. Inside deserts of galaxies.

Klaus Hargreeves: I guess the real question to ask is, why is it on my pizza!?

Ben Hargreeves: Why don't you like me?

Klaus Hargreeves: Because you're a huge puckering a**hole.

Ben Hargreeves: Okay, but you like the other Ben.

Klaus Hargreeves: Yeah, we love the other Ben.

Ben Hargreeves: Why? What was so special about him?

Klaus Hargreeves: Because he was a know-it-all. He was a scold. He was a tiny dark cloud on a perfect sunny day.

Ben Hargreeves: Those... Those are all bad things.

Klaus Hargreeves: Yeah, but they looked great on him.

Klaus Hargreeves (about his dad): He helped me conquer my childhood fears. We played catch together.

Luther Hargreeves: Wait. You played catch with Dad?

Sloane Hargreeves: Really?

Klaus Hargreeves: Yeah, we call it bus-ball, but that's kind of our thing.

(Luther and Sloane are getting married...)

Klaus Hargreeves: I pronounce you married as sh*t! Viva la apocalypse!

Number Five (watching the first dance): This is officially worse than the apocalypse.

Reginald Hargreeves: A man is not a man until he slays the demons of his youth.

Klaus Hargreeves: Oh yeah. Good one, Obi-Wang, but my demons are literal.

Reginald Hargreeves: When you're fast enough to catch this ball, you will have succeeded.

Klaus Hargreeves: Why not? Okay. But just so you know, I have the hand-eye coordination of a drunk kitten.

Klaus Hargreeves: What I'm saying is, you were a terrible father.

Reginald Hargreeves: Yes. Picked that up. Thank you.

Klaus Hargreeves: Good.

Reginald Hargreeves: High time I made it up to you. Starting now.

Klaus Hargreeves: You just murdered me and stuffed me in the trunk of your car. I have notes, Dad.

Reginald Hargreeves: Let's not quibble over details.

Reginald Hargreeves: What do we like to do together? For fun.

Klaus Hargreeves: I don't understand the question.

Reginald Hargreeves: Didn't we take any family trips in your timeline?

Klaus Hargreeves: With our dad? Hell no. That guy put the "dick" in dictator.

Reginald Hargreeves: Everything is fascinating ever since you weaned me off those damned pills. I'd like to return the favor. Help you to understand who you really are. Would you like that?

Klaus Hargreeves: There's nothing I'd like more. Other than a probiotic yogurt that doesn't make me fart.

(Klaus walks in the hotel where the Sparrows lie dead on the floor...)

Klaus Hargreeves: Oh man. Heavens to Betsy. What did you do? Did Viktor go full "Carrie" again?

Klaus Hargreeves: You think Dad is capable of killing innocent people?

(Allison laughs)

Viktor Hargreeves: Absolutely.

Diego Hargreeves: Oh, it's Murder City, buddy.

Viktor Hargreeves: So I, uh, talked to Marcus last night.

Diego Hargreeves: Wait, what? You talked with the enemy? By yourself?

Viktor Hargreeves: Somebody had to do something.

Diego Hargreeves: Who elected you, Vanya?

Viktor Hargreeves: It's, uh, Viktor.

Diego Hargreeves: Who's Viktor?

Viktor Hargreeves: I am. It's who I've always been. Uh, is that an issue for anyone?

Diego Hargreeves: Nah, I'm good with it.

Klaus Hargreeves: Yeah, me too. Cool.

Number Five: Truly happy for you, Viktor. But last time I checked, you don't speak for this family.

Character from The Umbrella Academy

The Umbrella Academy Quotes

The Umbrella Academy Quotes