Diego Hargreeves Quotes

Latest quotes added:

(Everyone cheers when Five walks in...)

Diego Hargreeves: That speech last night! Wow!

Lila Pitts: Brought me to tears, you big softy.

Viktor Hargreeves: I especially liked when you referred to us as a family bound by destiny and love.

Number Five: Okay. Enough. It was the booze talking. In the light of day, you're all still deplorable.

Diego Hargreeves: Are you insane?!

Lila Pitts: Uh, we met in an asylum.

(Diego and Stan are dragging dead Klaus rolled in a carpet...)

Diego Hargreeves: Uh... yeah, we're, uh, playing a game.

Chet Rodo: What's it called?

Diego Hargreeves: Guy in a Carpet.

Chet Rodo: I hope you win. (leaves)

Diego Hargreeves: Klaus was right. I love this place.

Diego Hargreeves: You remember that vigilante sh*t I used to do?

Allison Hargreeves: Yeah. Bargain Batman.

Diego Hargreeves: Smart a**. You know, you guys all laugh, but that sh*t helped me, man. Kicking a**holes in their a**holes is like therapy, but for cool people.

Allison Hargreeves: How do we know we can trust Gravity Barbie?

Luther Hargreeves: I trust her.

Diego Hargreeves: Yeah, you trusted emails from a Nigerian prince.

Luther Hargreeves: Tunde was not a prince, he was a king, and he was unjustly deposed.

Klaus Hargreeves: You think Dad is capable of killing innocent people?

(Allison laughs)

Viktor Hargreeves: Absolutely.

Diego Hargreeves: Oh, it's Murder City, buddy.

Viktor Hargreeves: So I, uh, talked to Marcus last night.

Diego Hargreeves: Wait, what? You talked with the enemy? By yourself?

Viktor Hargreeves: Somebody had to do something.

Diego Hargreeves: Who elected you, Vanya?

Viktor Hargreeves: It's, uh, Viktor.

Diego Hargreeves: Who's Viktor?

Viktor Hargreeves: I am. It's who I've always been. Uh, is that an issue for anyone?

Diego Hargreeves: Nah, I'm good with it.

Klaus Hargreeves: Yeah, me too. Cool.

Number Five: Truly happy for you, Viktor. But last time I checked, you don't speak for this family.

Diego Hargreeves: Where's the bathroom?

Klaus Hargreeves: Down the hall, or... (opens the window) Nature's bathroom.

Diego Hargreeves: You're disgusting.

Klaus Hargreeves: But consistent.

Klaus Hargreeves: Why is everyone staring at us?

Diego Hargreeves: Because we look like the damn Village People just lost a fight.

Vanya Hargreeves (to everyone): Thank God you're alive.

Klaus Hargreeves: Apparently, so is Ben.

Allison Hargreeves: Yeah. And he's a complete d*ckhead.

Diego Hargreeves: They're all d*ckheads.

Luther Hargreeves: D*ckheads who can fight.

Number Five: Okay, next person to say "d*ckhead" is getting a punch to the throat.

Allison Hargreeves: D*ckhead.

Luther Hargreeves: D*ckhead.

Klaus Hargreeves: D*ckhead.

Diego Hargreeves: D*ckhead.

Diego Hargreeves: Klaus! We gotta go, man. Now. These guys are too good. For you guys. I'm loving it. But you're probably gonna die. Come on.

Diego Hargreeves: Come at me, litter box!

(Christopher says something)

Diego Hargreeves: Hey! Listen, I have amazing hair, all right? This was era-appropriate!

Klaus Hargreeves: No, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Diego Hargreeves: What?

Klaus Hargreeves: If you don't make it back, there's one thing that I need to tell you.

Diego Hargreeves: Klaus, I don't have time for this.

Klaus Hargreeves: Please.

Diego Hargreeves: What?

Klaus Hargreeves: You look like Antonio Banderas with the long hair. I just thought you should know.

Diego Hargreeves: Thanks, man.

Character from The Umbrella Academy

The Umbrella Academy Quotes

The Umbrella Academy Quotes

Top 5 Quotes by Diego Hargreeves from The Umbrella Academy

The Best Quotes by Diego Hargreeves from The Umbrella Academy


Above you’ll find the best quotes and dialogues by Diego Hargreeves. The quotes are sorted from the latest added.

Diego Hargreeves is one of the siblings adopted by Reginald Hargreeves. He didn’t give his children names, but called them by numbers instead, Diego is being called Number Two.

Diego Hargreeves is played by the actor David Castañeda.


The pick of the top 5 one-liners said by Diego Hargreeves:

  • “My name is Number Two. You know why? Because our father couldn’t be bothered to give us actual names. He had Mom do it.” (Diego – Ep. 1×01)
  • “I’ll help you. After I save Kennedy. And then you swing us back a few decades so I can slit Hitler’s throat off with a butter knife.” (Diego to Five – Ep. 2×01)
  • “We go in there as a united front. No more “Number One,” “Number Two” bullsh*t. From now on, it’s… Team Zero. Team Zero. All the way.” (Diego – Ep. 2×06)
  • “I have amazing hair, all right? This was era-appropriate!” (Diego to Christopher – Ep. 3×01)
  • “Klaus! We gotta go, man. Now. These guys are too good. For you guys. I’m loving it. But you’re probably gonna die. Come on.” (Diego – Ep. 3×01)


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