Luther Hargreeves: We don't belong here. We have to go back.
Allison Hargreeves: I don't know if I can.
Luther Hargreeves: Allison... we're different than everyone else. We're special. And good or bad, that means we don't get to live normal lives. Here or anywhere.
Allison Hargreeves: It's not fair.
Luther Hargreeves: I know. But we have to risk everything to save everything. I mean, that's our best trait as a family, right?
Allison Hargreeves: What? Recklessness?
Luther Hargreeves: Hope.
Klaus Hargreeves: I mean, who in this room knows shit about relationships? This one? In secret love with some farm Frau.
Vanya Hargreeves: Her name's Sissy.
Klaus Hargreeves: Which is an improvement on her previous love interest, the serial killer.
Vanya Hargreeves: What!?
Klaus Hargreeves: Meanwhile, I'm carrying a torch...
Allison Hargreeves (to Vanya): Later.
Klaus Hargreeves: For a soldier I haven't technically met yet, and Luther is in love with his sister.
Allison Hargreeves: Okay, again, we are not biological.
Klaus Hargreeves: Face it, the healthiest long-term relationship in this family was when Five was banging that mannequin. The only thing the Umbrella Academy knows about love... is how to screw it up.
Klaus Hargreeves: Have you ever heard the fable of The Scorpion and the Frog?
Allison Hargreeves: What?
Klaus Hargreeves: The scorpion wants to get across the river, so he asks the frog to carry him across. But the frog's like, "Well, what's in it for me?" And the scorpion's like, "How about five bucks?" And the frog says, "Make it 20." The scorpion's like, "Ten." The frog goes, "All right, fine, 15." And the scorpion's like, "All right, fine, 15." Then halfway across the river, the frog feels this terrible pain on his back, and... eh... the scorpion stung him. You know? And the frog's like, "Well, what the hell? We're both gonna drown now," and... they both did.
Allison Hargreeves: What the hell is the point of that story!?
Klaus Hargreeves: The point is, frogs are bitches, and we do not negotiate with terrorists, Allison...
Allison Hargreeves: No. No, no, no. I... I actually can't deal with you right now. Absolutely not.
Allison Hargreeves (to Vanya): When we were four, Dad told us you were sick. You had to be isolated. We were so young. None of us knew to question it. But then he asked me to do something I never understood... until now.
(Flashback to little Allison and Vanya)
Allison Hargreeves (to Vanya): I heard a rumor... you think you're just ordinary.
Allison Hargreeves (to Diego): Be careful, okay? We don't know what Peabody's capable of.
Diego Hargreeves: Yeah, he didn't seem dangerous when I first saw him. Looked kinda scrawny.
Allison Hargreeves: Yeah, well, so are most serial killers and mass murderers. I mean, look at him. (gestures at Five)
Number Five: Thanks.
Diego Hargreeves: Good point.
Allison Hargreeves: Do you have any idea how insane this sounds?
Number Five: You know what else is insane? I look like a 13-year-old boy. Klaus talks to the dead, and Luther thinks he's fooling everybody with that overcoat. Everything about us is insane. It always has been.
Klaus Hargreeves: He's got a point there.
Number Five: We didn't choose this life, we're just living it. For the next three days, anyway.
Allison Hargreeves: Things got ugly between Patrick and me. Now the court says I have to do this mandatory therapy thing before I can have visitation.
Luther Hargreeves: What for...? You used your power on her.
Allison Hargreeves: I mean, there were days where she'd have these epic meltdowns. And no matter what I said, she wouldn't stop. She was three then, and I... I know that's what three-year-olds are supposed to do. So I said I would do it that one time. Only it wasn't just that one time. I told myself any... parent with my power would do the same. That it wasn't wrong. I just had an advantage. I mean, from the time I was little, I used it to get everything I wanted. With Dad, with my career... But now, I know nothing in my life was real. So I'm starting over. I just didn't think it would be so hard.
Luther Hargreeves: It'll get easier. Some things just take time.
Allison Hargreeves: Yeah. And some things just stay broken.
Pogo: He leaves behind a complicated legacy...
Diego Hargreeves: He was a monster. (Klaus laughs) He was a bad person and a worse father. The world's better off without him.
Allison Hargreeves: Diego.
Diego Hargreeves: My name is Number Two. You know why? Because our father couldn't be bothered to give us actual names. He had Mom do it.
Luther Hargreeves: Looks like some sort of temporal anomaly. Either that or a miniature black hole. One of the two.
Diego Hargreeves: Pretty big difference there, Paul Bunyan.
Klaus Hargreeves: Out of the way! (runs out with fire extinguisher)
Diego Hargreeves: What are you...
(Klaus tries to fight the anomaly by spraying it with the fire extinguisher and then throws it at it making to difference.)
Allison Hargreeves: What is that gonna do?
Klaus Hargreeves: I don't know. Do you have a better idea?