10+ Best 'Allison Hargreeves' Quotes

Allison Hargreeves: We've all been through a lot. We've all lost people. (looks at Five) Mannequins... But their deaths have to mean something. Which is why I'll be voting to go with Dad.

23.7.2022 We’ve all lost people. Mannequins…

Diego Hargreeves: You remember that vigilante sh*t I used to do?

Allison Hargreeves: Yeah. Bargain Batman.

Diego Hargreeves: Smart a**. You know, you guys all laugh, but that sh*t helped me, man. Kicking a**holes in their a**holes is like therapy, but for cool people.

23.7.2022 You remember that vigilante sh*t I used to do? Bargain Batman.

Allison Hargreeves: How do we know we can trust Gravity Barbie?

Luther Hargreeves: I trust her.

Diego Hargreeves: Yeah, you trusted emails from a Nigerian prince.

Luther Hargreeves: Tunde was not a prince, he was a king, and he was unjustly deposed.

23.7.2022 You trusted emails from a Nigerian prince.

Vanya Hargreeves (to everyone): Thank God you're alive.

Klaus Hargreeves: Apparently, so is Ben.

Allison Hargreeves: Yeah. And he's a complete d*ckhead.

Diego Hargreeves: They're all d*ckheads.

Luther Hargreeves: D*ckheads who can fight.

Number Five: Okay, next person to say "d*ckhead" is getting a punch to the throat.

Allison Hargreeves: D*ckhead.

Luther Hargreeves: D*ckhead.

Klaus Hargreeves: D*ckhead.

Diego Hargreeves: D*ckhead.

23.7.2022 24.7.2022 Next person to say “d*ckhead” is getting a punch…

Quote from The Umbrella Academy 3x01 | Allison Hargreeves: You all right? Luther Hargreeves: I don't know yet. I've just never had my a$$ handed to me like that before. It's like... Here you go. It's your a$$. Allison Hargreeves: Okay, I think Luther's concussed.

23.7.2022 Here you go. It’s your a$$.

Luther Hargreeves: We don't belong here. We have to go back.

Allison Hargreeves: I don't know if I can.

Luther Hargreeves: Allison... we're different than everyone else. We're special. And good or bad, that means we don't get to live normal lives. Here or anywhere.

Allison Hargreeves: It's not fair.

Luther Hargreeves: I know. But we have to risk everything to save everything. I mean, that's our best trait as a family, right?

Allison Hargreeves: What? Recklessness?

Luther Hargreeves: Hope.

10.8.2020 We’re different than everyone else. We’re special.

Quote from The Umbrella Academy 2x06 | Number Five: Allison can rumor anyone to do anything. Diego Hargreeves: Except she never uses it. Allison Hargreeves: I heard a rumor you punched yourself in the face. Diego Hargreeves: Aah! Damn it!

10.8.2020 I heard a rumor you punched yourself in the face.

Klaus Hargreeves: I mean, who in this room knows sh*t about relationships? This one? In secret love with some farm Frau.

Vanya Hargreeves: Her name's Sissy.

Klaus Hargreeves: Which is an improvement on her previous love interest, the serial killer.

Vanya Hargreeves: What!?

Klaus Hargreeves: Meanwhile, I'm carrying a torch...

Allison Hargreeves (to Vanya): Later.

Klaus Hargreeves: For a soldier I haven't technically met yet, and Luther is in love with his sister.

Allison Hargreeves: Okay, again, we are not biological.

Klaus Hargreeves: Face it, the healthiest long-term relationship in this family was when Five was banging that mannequin. The only thing the Umbrella Academy knows about love... is how to screw it up.

10.8.2020 23.7.2022 Who in this room knows about relationships?

Allison Hargreeves: Hey, Diego. Can't say hi to nobody?

Diego Hargreeves: Hi, Allison.

Allison Hargreeves: What was that?

Diego Hargreeves: Hi, Allison!

Allison Hargreeves: Thank you!

10.8.2020 Hey, Diego. Can’t say hi to nobody?

Klaus Hargreeves: Have you ever heard the fable of The Scorpion and the Frog?

Allison Hargreeves: What?

Klaus Hargreeves: The scorpion wants to get across the river, so he asks the frog to carry him across. But the frog's like, "Well, what's in it for me?" And the scorpion's like, "How about five bucks?" And the frog says, "Make it 20." The scorpion's like, "Ten." The frog goes, "All right, fine, 15." And the scorpion's like, "All right, fine, 15." Then halfway across the river, the frog feels this terrible pain on his back, and... eh... the scorpion stung him. You know? And the frog's like, "Well, what the hell? We're both gonna drown now," and... they both did.

Allison Hargreeves: What the hell is the point of that story!?

Klaus Hargreeves: The point is, frogs are b*tches, and we do not negotiate with terrorists, Allison...

Allison Hargreeves: No. No, no, no. I... I actually can't deal with you right now. Absolutely not.

10.8.2020 30.1.2022 The fable of The Scorpion and the Frog (Klaus’ version)

Allison Hargreeves (to Vanya): When we were four, Dad told us you were sick. You had to be isolated. We were so young. None of us knew to question it. But then he asked me to do something I never understood... until now.

(Flashback to little Allison and Vanya)

Allison Hargreeves (to Vanya): I heard a rumor... you think you're just ordinary.

27.4.2019 I heard a rumor… you think you’re just ordinary.

Quote from The Umbrella Academy 1x07 | (Diego jumps to a glass door to get into a house...) Allison Hargreeves: Subtle. Number Five: You know, the door was unlocked. Diego Hargreeves: Yeah, well, my way works just fine. Spread out. Yell if you, uh... you know, you're in trouble. Number Five: Ah, inspiring leadership. Allison Hargreeves: One of the greats.

27.4.2019 You know, the door was unlocked.

Allison Hargreeves (to Diego): Be careful, okay? We don't know what Peabody's capable of.

Diego Hargreeves: Yeah, he didn't seem dangerous when I first saw him. Looked kinda scrawny.

Allison Hargreeves: Yeah, well, so are most serial killers and mass murderers. I mean, look at him. (gestures at Five)

Number Five: Thanks.

Diego Hargreeves: Good point.

27.4.2019 He didn’t seem dangerous when I first saw him.

Allison Hargreeves: Do you have any idea how insane this sounds?

Number Five: You know what else is insane? I look like a 13-year-old boy. Klaus talks to the dead, and Luther thinks he's fooling everybody with that overcoat. Everything about us is insane. It always has been.

Klaus Hargreeves: He's got a point there.

Number Five: We didn't choose this life, we're just living it. For the next three days, anyway.

27.4.2019 Everything about us is insane. It always has been.

Allison Hargreeves: Things got ugly between Patrick and me. Now the court says I have to do this mandatory therapy thing before I can have visitation.

Luther Hargreeves: What for...? You used your power on her.

Allison Hargreeves: I mean, there were days where she'd have these epic meltdowns. And no matter what I said, she wouldn't stop. She was three then, and I... I know that's what three-year-olds are supposed to do. So I said I would do it that one time. Only it wasn't just that one time. I told myself any... parent with my power would do the same. That it wasn't wrong. I just had an advantage. I mean, from the time I was little, I used it to get everything I wanted. With Dad, with my career... But now, I know nothing in my life was real. So I'm starting over. I just didn't think it would be so hard.

Luther Hargreeves: It'll get easier. Some things just take time.

Allison Hargreeves: Yeah. And some things just stay broken.

27.4.2019 You used your power on her.

Allison Hargreeves Quotes

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Character from The Umbrella Academy