Read the top iconic lines by Klaus Hargreeves from the Netflix’s TV series The Umbrella Academy.

Klaus is one of the siblings adopted by Reginald Hargreeves. He didn’t give his children names, but called them by numbers instead, Klaus is being called Number Four. The name “Klaus” was given to him by his mother Grace.

Klaus Hargreeves is played by the actor Robert Sheehan.

Quotes are sorted in chronological order as they come up in the series.

1. “It’s very breathey on the bits.”

“It’s a little dated, I know, but it’s very breathey on the bits.”

(about a skirt – Ep. 1×01)

2. “Dad, could you stop playing tennis with Hitler for a moment?”

“I can’t just call Dad in the afterlife and be like, ‘Dad, could you just… stop playing tennis with Hitler for a moment and take a quick call?’”

(Ep. 1×01)

3. “Did we all get sexier?”

“Oh, wow. I know this is impossible, but… did we all get sexier?”

(Ep. 2×05)

4. “My cult is gonna be so pissed. Five!”

“Oh, my God, again? All of you knew? Why am I always the last one to find out about the end of the… Oh, my God. My cult is gonna be so pissed. Five! I told them we had until 2019.”

(Ep. 2×05)

5. “Is it Vanya? It’s usually Vanya.”

“Is it Vanya? What? It’s usually Vanya.”

(about the end of world – Ep. 2×05)

6. “The only thing we know about love is how to screw it up.”

“Face it, the healthiest long-term relationship in this family was when Five was banging that mannequin. The only thing the Umbrella Academy knows about love… is how to screw it up.”

(Ep. 2×05)
One of the best quotes by Klaus Hargreeves from The Umbrella Academy | "Face it, the healthiest long-term relationship in this family was when Five was banging that mannequin. The only thing the Umbrella Academy knows about love... is how to screw it up." (Klaus - Ep. 2x05)
Netflix

7. “We’re amateur-fidious.”

“No, we’re amateur-fidious, at best.”

(Ep. 3×01)

8. “I’m the spiritual one.”

“I’m Klaus. I’m the… spiritual one.”

(to Reginald – Ep. 3×03)
One of the best quotes by Klaus Hargreeves from The Umbrella Academy | "I'm Klaus. I'm the... spiritual one." (Klaus - Ep. 3x03)
Netflix

9. “The hand-eye coordination of a drunk kitten.”

“I have the hand-eye coordination of a drunk kitten.”

(Ep. 3×07)

10. “Why would you put pineapple on a pizza?”

“Why would you put pineapple on a pizza? I mean, it’s a garnish for cocktails, at best.”

(Ep. 3×10)
One of the best quotes by Klaus Hargreeves from The Umbrella Academy | "Why would you put pineapple on a pizza? I mean, it's a garnish for cocktails, at best." (Klaus - Ep. 3x10)
Netflix

What is your favorite quote from the series? Let us know in the comments, especially if you don’t see it on this list.

In total we’ve collected more than 100 quotes from the series so far. This is our pick of what we consider the 10 best quotes ever said by Klaus. It’s a mix of our opinions, quotes that are often heard repeated, most visited ones, and the ones that go viral on social media. We tried to pick the ones that best capture the overall personality and life story of Klaus Hargreeves.

If you feel like you have one, or more quotes that deserves to be in top 10, let us know in the comments, the list can change based on your suggestions.

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You can continue reading more quotes from The Umbrella Academy, check all the quotes from the series and its characters.