Number Five: You're not supposed to exist in close proximity to yourself in the same timeline. The side effects can be disastrous.
Luther Hargreeves: Side effects? What sort of side effects?
Number Five: Well, according to Commission Handbook Chapter 27, subsection 3b, the seven stages in paradox psychosis are... stage one: denial, two: itching, three: extreme thirst and urination, four: excessive gas, five: acute paranoia, six: uncontrolled perspiration, and seven: homicidal rage.
Number Five: Right now, our priority is finding Dad and getting answers, 'cause everything else depends on it.
Diego Hargreeves: Which, for the record, I found him already.
Number Five: And then let him go before we could have a meaningful conversation.
Diego Hargreeves: He stabbed me.
Number Five: I'm surprised he waited this long, Diego. We've all had the urge.
Lila Pitts: Good one.
Vanya Hargreeves: I can't help you, Five. I don't even know who I am.
Number Five: You're our sister. And a member of the Umbrella Academy. Like it or not, that's who you are.
Vanya Hargreeves: Look, that's who I was, okay? New timeline, new me.
Number Five: No, that's not how it work... (Vanya drives off and Luther gives him the finger) Wonder if it's too late to be un-adopted.
Dancer: I'm more worried about the kid.
Luther Hargreeves: What kid?
Dancer: By the stage. I told him we don't allow minors.
Luther Hargreeves: Oh, yeah? And what'd he say?
Dancer: He asked what time I was getting off work. (laughs)
(Luther goes to the stage...)
Luther Hargreeves (to Five): She's too young for you.
Number Five: Nice to see you too, Luther.
Number Five: We use my ability to time travel. But this time, I'll take you with me.
Diego Hargreeves: You can do that?
Number Five: I don't know. I've never tried it before.
Diego Hargreeves: What's the worst that can happen?
Number Five: You're lookin' at it. A 58-year-old man inside a child's body, so there's that.
Diego Hargreeves: Oh, what the hell? I'm in.
Klaus Hargreeves: Yeah, whatever. I'm in.
Luther Hargreeves: Me too. Allison? (she nodds yes) What about Ben? (Ben nodds yes too)
Klaus Hargreeves: Great, yeah, he's in.
Number Five: Billions of people are about to die tonight. You can change that.
The Handler: Tonight, tomorrow. So little difference in the scheme of things. Don't you remember the Commission's raison d'etre? What's meant to be is meant to be, or, as I like to say, que será, será.
Number Five: It's bullsh*t in any language.