100+ Best 'Shameless' Quotes: 'This ain't no tea party." | Scattered Quotes

Shameless Quotes

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(Frank is screaming at the lake...)

Frank Gallagher (to God): That all you got? That's it? I'm still here, you f**ker! Frank Gallagher! I'm alive! You see me? You see me standing here? You lost, a$$holeshole! I'm alive, motherf**ker! Me, Frank Gallagher! Alive. Alive.

Mickey Milkovich: What's wrong with him?

Fiona Gallagher: Uh, depression, I think.

Mickey Milkovich: He... he's depressed? What do you mean he's... We all get f**king depressed. How the f**k could we not, living around here?

Fiona Gallagher: It's not that kind of depressed, okay? Look, I could be wrong, but it could be bipolar disease, like our mom.

Mickey Milkovich: Bi... bi... What? What the f**k is that?

Mandy Milkovich: It's manic depression, Mick.

Fiona Gallagher: It's like high highs followed by low lows, over and over again.

(Ian won't come out of bed...)

Debbie Gallagher: Ian? Ian, you all right? Ian, it... it's Debbie.

Ian Gallagher: Go away.

Debbie Gallagher: Ian?

Mickey Milkovich: Do you know what this is?

Debbie Gallagher: Yeah, we know what this is.

(Mickey is in the Alibi for the first time since he came out...)

Kevin Ball: Mickey, have a seat, man. No one gives a sh*t who you bang. Let me buy you a beer. To butt buddies, long may they slam and slap.

Everyone in the bar: To butt buddies!

Svetlana Yevgenivna: I hate the p*nis. Ugly f**king skin stick. Always trying to get in where it doesn't belong. You like boys. Maybe I like girls. No p*nis is staring at you, hoping to explode like sticky volcano. America... it's land of choices, yes? Freedom to be me. Freedom to be you. McDonald's, Burger King on same block. You choose. One, both. Sh*t, maybe we go to Wendy's instead.

Mickey Milkovich: Hold... you're a lesbian?

Svetlana Yevgenivna: Maybe yes, maybe no. Choice.

(Svetlana has a strap on...)

Mickey Milkovich: What the f*ck?

Svetlana Yevgenivna: You like the p*nis, yes?

Mickey Milkovich: Not when there's t*ts directly above it.

Svetlana Yevgenivna: You want it up in your poop place?

Mickey Milkovich: No, I don't... I want you... f**king... I want you to put it away. Can you put that away? Put that f**king thing away, please. (Svetlana takes it off) Thank you.

Svetlana Yevgenivna (about Ian): You love him?

Mickey Milkovich: Maybe. I don't know.

Svetlana Yevgenivna: Because he has a real p*nis?

Mickey Milkovich: Yeah, I guess.

(Mickey came out, he fought with his father, the police had to steps in... After...)

Police officer: You're free to go.

Mickey Milkovich: What?

Police officer: If I arrest you, it's gonna be a lot of paperwork. Keep me in the office all night. I'd rather get home to my husband, Carlos.

(Police breaks up a fight between Terry and Mickey, after Mickey came out...)

Terry Milkovich: F**king f*ggot! Get out of my house! You pole-smoking queer!

Mickey Milkovich: F**k you! Don't worry about it! I've been staying at Ian's since you've been in the can, b*tch! Guess what we've been doing, daddy! We've been f**king! And I take it! He gives it to me good and hard, and I f**king like it. I suck his d*ck. I f**king love it.

Terry Milkovich: I'm gonna cut your balls in little pieces and shove them up your a$$ so far, you grow ball trees, you f**k! You f**k!

(Frank wakes up after his liver transplant surgery...)

Sheila Jackson: He's awake! Just like I told you.

Doctor: This is good news. A lot sooner than expected.

Carl Gallagher: He thinks we're different people. You screwed his brain on backwards.

Ian Gallagher: Just wondering if we're a couple or not.

Mickey Milkovich: Of course we are.

Ian Gallagher: A couple that hides?

Mickey Milkovich: Hey, it's working out so far, so good.

Ian Gallagher: Getting kind of sick of it.

Carl Gallagher: You love Mickey?

Ian Gallagher: I like how he smells.

(Mickey comes out of the room...)

Mickey Milkovich: What you asking stupid f**king questions for?

Carl Gallagher: You were nicer when you were asleep.

Shameless Quotes

Shameless Quotes

Info

Title: Shameless (Us)
Format: TV Series
Genres: Comedy, Drama
Produced by: Showtime
Release Date: 9 January 2011
Number of Seasons: 11

Synopsis / Summary

Watch the Irish American family the Gallaghers dealing with their alcoholic father Frank. Fiona, the eldest daughter, takes the role of the parent to her five brothers and sisters. Lip, Ian, Debbie, Carl, and Liam deal with life on the South Side of Chicago. Fiona balances her sex life and raising her siblings. Every episode is another crazy situation that one or more of the Gallagher six get into. Watch them grow and learn how to make their way in life with what little they have. (IMDb)

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Characters / Cast

Choose character to show quotes by her/him.
A-Z List of Characters

Character Played by
Carl Gallagher Ethan Cutkosky
Debbie Gallagher Emma Kenney
Fiona Gallagher Emmy Rossum
Frank Gallagher William H. Macy
Ian Gallagher Cameron Monaghan
Jimmy/Steve Lishman Justin Chatwin
Kevin Ball Steve Howey
Lip Gallagher Jeremy Allen White
Mandy Milkovich Emma Greenwell
Mickey Milkovich Noel Fisher
Monica Gallagher Chloe Webb
Terry Milkovich Dennis Cockrum
Veronica Fisher Shanola Hampton

Top 10 Quotes from Shameless: Season 1

  • Frank Gallagher (narration): Me, Frank Gallagher, father, teacher, mentor, captain of our little ship. We may not have much, but all of us, to a man, knows the most important thing in this life… we know how to f**king party!
  • Kevin Ball: Frank, what did I tell you?! The day you start paying rent around here, Frank, like the rest of us, you can play whatever sh*t you want. But if you’re gonna pump up this time of night, you’re gonna pump out the stuff that we like, okay?
  • Kevin Ball: That’s what I call little mixed-race babies: Tomorrow people. Little people of tomorrow.
  • Lip Gallagher: To master the art of the book report, you just take any novel, no matter when it was written, and you argue that the main character is a latent homosexual. No, seriously. Seriously. Now, most English teachers are either gay and agree, or they’re straight, but too scared to disagree and get labeled as intolerant.
  • Debbie Gallagher (to Carl): You can’t beat karate when it comes to regulated, sanctioned violence for children.
  • Terry Milkovich (to Ian and Mickey): Put some clothes on. You two look like a couple of f*gs.
  • Mickey Milkovich (to Ian): Kiss me, and I’ll cut your f**king tongue out.
  • Linda (to Ian): You’re not fired. My opinion? You could do better.
  • Debbie Gallagher (about Harry Potter): Overrated. Made a better movie than a book. And now with all those kid actors grown up, they’re scarier looking than the villains.
  • Mickey Milkovich (to Ian): You say that again, I’ll rip your tongue out of your head. Take your hand off the glass.

Top 10 Quotes from Shameless: Season 2

  • Lip Gallagher: I’m sneaking antibiotics into his toothpaste, just in case.
  • Fiona Gallagher: Gallaghers pay their debts.
  • Ian Gallagher: Yeah, but we’re related to the bad people in our bad neighborhood.
  • Lip Gallagher (to Carl): The only reason you’re not in summer school is ’cause they wouldn’t have you.
  • Adam: Hey, do you think my car will still be there? – Fiona Gallagher: Parts of it.
  • Frank Gallagher: You give a man a fish, you’ve fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, you’ve fed him for a lifetime. I raise fishermen. The best gift you can give, neglect. Neglect fosters self-reliance. Now, do the right thing. Split. Not our fault she was careless.
  • Veronica Fisher: ‘Cause you keep forgetting to buy us a boat.
  • Frank Gallagher: Hello, boys. The front door was locked, so I came in the back… no pun intended. You might want to check the locks. Um, I see that you’re preoccupied, so why don’t we put this little loan on my tab? As you were, sailors.
  • Veronica Fisher: That is the dirtiest white boy in America.
  • Monica Gallagher: Don’t even think about coming out at school. Somebody in that neighborhood will knife you, for sure.

Top 10 Quotes from Shameless: Season 3

  • Lip Gallagher: When you’re poor, only way to make money is to steal it or scam it, like Don King or Joe Kennedy.
  • Mandy Milkovich: Does he get that look in his eye when he’s with you? You’ll know when you see it.
  • Frank Gallagher: Sometimes men discover things about themselves like they prefer male genitalia to female genitalia. At first they’re attracted to each other’s build. And once a connection gets made, then the wieners get licked.
  • Kevin Ball (to Lip): She stay over more than four nights a week? Help you out with random stuff? Huh? Huh? Dude, you are ghetto married. Enjoy it. You get all the perks, no paperwork. Guys would kill for that setup.
  • Veronica Fisher: You mean we make you smarter than you are? – Kevin Ball: No, no, no. You make us more interested in you than we are.
  • Debbie Gallagher: Sometimes when you’re feeling really bad, If you make yourself look better on the outside, It can start to make you feel better on the inside. My mom calls it “taking it from the outside in.”
  • Mickey Milkovich (to Ian): Not everybody gets to just… Not everybody just gets to blurt out how they f**king feel every minute.
  • Lip Gallagher (to Ian): I guess the good thing about falling for Mickey Milkovich is you know you can always find someone better.
  • Kevin Ball: Hey, what can I say? Once you go white, you always stay tight. Hey, I think I just insulted myself.
  • Fiona Gallagher (to Frank): I’ve dreamt about your death. Put money in a collection box and prayed for it. Blew out my birthday candles, wished for it. If it actually ever happened, I don’t know if I’d feel relief or guilt. I wrote a letter to Santa once.

Top 10 Quotes from Shameless: Season 4

  • Mandy Milkovich (to Mickey): You know what? Nothing’s ever your problem. For once, you know, make something your problem.
  • Frank Gallagher: Bullying is a vital part of every ecosystem. It teaches kids resilience. The world is a rough place. Bullying is like getting inoculated. It’s a vaccine. And you little sh*ts, you got to learn to stay away from people like my son. That’s what you learn when you get punched in the face by a bully. How do you think Steve Jobs turned out so great? Bullies. And I guarantee Junior here will be getting the hottest chicks when he’s 30 because he got bullied today. You want your kid to peak now? My kid will be picking up roadside garbage in an orange jumpsuit in ten years. Your kid will be in med school curing cancer and getting laid. You’re welcome.
  • Carl Gallagher: Bullying is bad for society. It hurts people and makes them feel bad. It must be stopped. (Later Carl sees a kid walking down the hallway…) Forgot my lunch. Give me money. Give me money, chihuahua. Come on, give me money.
  • Kevin Ball (to Mickey and Svetlana): Okay, hey. No domestic abuse. Take it outside like everyone else.
  • Debbie Gallagher (to Frank): I just wanted to say that I love you. And that I forgive you for everything. Unless you live. And then… and then I’m still pissed off.
  • Mickey Milkovich: Ian, what you and I have makes me free… not what these a**holes know.
  • Mickey Milkovich: Hey! Excuse me! Can I get everybody’s attention, please? I just want everybody here to know I’m f**king gay. A big old ‘mo. I just thought everybody should know that. You happy now?
  • Svetlana Yevgenivna: I hate the p*nis. Ugly f**king skin stick. Always trying to get in where it doesn’t belong. You like boys. Maybe I like girls. No p*nis is staring at you, hoping to explode like sticky volcano. America… it’s land of choices, yes? Freedom to be me. Freedom to be you. McDonald’s, Burger King on same block. You choose. One, both. Sh*t, maybe we go to Wendy’s instead.
  • Kevin Ball: Mickey, have a seat, man. No one gives a sh*t who you bang. Let me buy you a beer. To butt buddies, long may they slam and slap.
  • Mickey Milkovich (about Ian): He… he’s depressed? What do you mean he’s… We all get f**king depressed. How the f**k could we not, living around here?

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