Carl Gallagher Quotes

(Frank is called into school, because Carl is bullying other students…)

Frank Gallagher: Bullying is a vital part of every ecosystem. It teaches kids resilience. The world is a rough place. Bullying is like getting inoculated. It’s a vaccine. And you little sh*ts, you got to learn to stay away from people like my son. That’s what you learn when you get punched in the face by a bully. How do you think Steve Jobs turned out so great? Bullies. And I guarantee Junior here will be getting the hottest chicks when he’s 30 because he got bullied today. You want your kid to peak now? My kid will be picking up roadside garbage in an orange jumpsuit in ten years. Your kid will be in med school curing cancer and getting laid. You’re welcome.

Carl Gallagher: What if I want to cure cancer?

Frank Gallagher: Be lucky you don’t get gonorrhea from your cell mate. Spoken with love, son.

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Fiona Gallagher: Carl, we’re serious. The stakes are really, really high. We love you, and we need you in this family. In this house. You need to stop biting and punching and hurting people.

Carl Gallagher: Well, how else do I make them cry?

Lip Gallagher: Gossip and slander.

Steve: You know, when I get really angry, I usually just count to ten.

Lip Gallagher: Hey, little man, tell you what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna get you some pads and some skates. Get you out on the ice. You can take your frustrations out with a hockey stick.

Ian Gallagher: Yeah. You can come to karate with me. Remember when I broke Kyle Boozlee’s leg? It took three pins to put it back together, huh?

Debbie Gallagher: You can’t beat karate when it comes to regulated, sanctioned violence for children.

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Quote from Shameless 1x06 | Fiona Gallagher: Carl, we're serious. The stakes are really, really high. We love you, and we need you in this family. In this house. You need to stop biting and punching and hurting people. Carl Gallagher: Well, how else do I make them cry? Lip Gallagher: Gossip and slander. Steve: You know, when I get really angry, I usually just count to ten. Lip Gallagher: Hey, little man, tell you what we're gonna do. We're gonna get you some pads and some skates. Get you out on the ice. You can take your frustrations out with a hockey stick. Ian Gallagher: Yeah. You can come to karate with me. Remember when I broke Kyle Boozlee's leg? It took three pins to put it back together, huh? Debbie Gallagher: You can't beat karate when it comes to regulated, sanctioned violence for children.
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