Lip Gallagher Quotes

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(Lip is going to his dorm with little Liam...)

Liam Gallagher: Dorm.

Lip Gallagher: Yeah, and what's in a dorm?

Liam Gallagher: Hipsters.

Lip Gallagher: Hipsters. Very good.

Lip Gallagher: Hey, you guys heard anything from Ian?

Debbie Gallagher: Not for weeks. And Fiona doesn't even care.

Lip Gallagher: What about the U.S. Army? You hear anything from them?

(Flashback from not too long ago...)

Sergeant Benz: We're looking for Phillip Gallagher.

Carl Gallagher: He's at college. (slams the door)

(Back a present time...)

Carl Gallagher: No.

Lip Gallagher: What did he try and steal?

Sergeant Kelly: Helicopter. Surface-to-air missile. Army-issue boxer brief-

Sergeant Benz: Sergeant. (makes Kelly shut up) Mr. Gallagher, we may need you to testify. We'll be in touch.

Lip Gallagher: Well, at ease, gentlemen. I've always wanted to say that.

Lip Gallagher: Um... thanks for the beers, Kev.

Kevin Ball: Yeah, you're welcome.

Lip Gallagher: GFY.

Kevin Ball: Yeah, TGIF.

Lip Gallagher: Glad to see you out of bed. Thought we were gonna have to put you on a suicide watch, take away your shoelaces and bed sheets.

Ian Gallagher: No need. Moved on. How many times you gotta hear no, right?

Lip Gallagher: Yeah. Well, uh, I guess the good thing about falling for Mickey Milkovich is you know you can always find someone better.

(Police is arresting Carl...)

Police officer: We're taking your son in for questioning.

Frank Gallagher: He didn't do the heist. I did. You see? Shiny, but a little bit big. I also got a boatload of electronics. Those sold fast. Did you know Chicago has several 24-hour pawn shops? He didn't... He's innocent. I forced him to give me the code. Didn't I, son? Tell him. Oh, my God. He's dumber than a bag of hair. He couldn't pull off a Band-Aid, much less a robbery. Okay, here, cuff me before I get disorderly. Be brave, son. Order room service.

Ian Gallagher: What happened?

Lip Gallagher: Hell froze over.

(Ian gets drunk at Mickey's wedding...)

Ian Gallagher: He did it. He got married. To a woman.

Lip Gallagher: Ian, I told you not to come here, okay?

Ian Gallagher: You try sitting on your a$$ while the person you love... No, I'm sorry, I mean the guy you've been f**king... gets married to some random commie sk*nk! F**king commie!

(Lip drags him away...)

Ian Gallagher: That wh*re that Mickey's marrying... is an actual wh*re that works at Garden Springs Spa.

Lip Gallagher: Family discounts on Handy J's.

Ian Gallagher: Terry made Mickey f*ck her to f**k the gay out of him.

Lip Gallagher: What? When?

Ian Gallagher: After he caught us together.

Lip Gallagher: Dude, how did I not know this sh*t?

Ian Gallagher: I didn't tell you.

Lip Gallagher: I don't know, did it work?

Ian Gallagher: I mean, he might have... faked it once or twice, but he wants to be with me. I know what he felt with me. You can't fake that. And now this chick is pregnant.

Lip Gallagher: Ian. My brother. You need to get out there and f**k someone new, okay? And someone in his early 20s, not some old dude like Kash or Ned.

Ian Gallagher: F**k you. (laughs)

Lip Gallagher: She's gotten hella clingy.

Kevin Ball: You rescued her cross-dressing sibling. You swashbuckled that sh*t, man. Seals the deal for a chick, I'm serious. Girls take that hero crap straight to the bank. She cook for you now? Fold your clothes?

Lip Gallagher: Sometimes.

Kevin Ball: She stay over more than four nights a week? Help you out with random stuff? Huh? Huh? Dude, you are ghetto married. Enjoy it. You get all the perks, no paperwork. Guys would kill for that setup.

Lip Gallagher: I kinda hate it.

Carl Gallagher: We've been at this camp for a whole day without seeing the lake. I've never seen a lake before.

Hanley: Not even Lake Michigan?

Carl Gallagher: Where's that?

Ian Gallagher: You're visiting a Milkovich sister nobody's ever heard of in Milwaukee?

Lip Gallagher: Uh, correct.

Ian Gallagher: And you're gonna do what?

Lip Gallagher: We are going to evaluate her well-being and, if need be, rescue her.

Ian Gallagher: You mean kidnap?

Lip Gallagher: Provide transport to a safer haven.

Ian Gallagher: Kidnap.

Lip Gallagher: Rescue.

Ian Gallagher: Bad idea.

Lip Gallagher: Look, a kid's in trouble, we're gonna help.

Ian Gallagher: Crossing state lines to bring a minor back to the Milkovich house of horror seems more like abuse.

Lip Gallagher: The ghetto girl thinks she can live the American dream, huh?

Fiona Gallagher: Maybe it's my time, Lip. (Mandy laughs) None of your business, Mandy.

Lip Gallagher: Don't you see, it doesn't work like that, sis. When you're poor, only way to make money is to steal it or scam it, like Don King or Joe Kennedy.

Frank Gallagher: Big responsibility, being a parent.

Lip Gallagher: Is that right?

Frank Gallagher: That's what I'm trying to tell you. My philosophy. You got to let kids learn for themselves.

Lip Gallagher: You mean, fend for themselves?

Frank Gallagher: You give a man a fish, you've fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, you've fed him for a lifetime. I raise fishermen. The best gift you can give, neglect. Neglect fosters self-reliance. Now, do the right thing. Split. Not our fault she was careless.

Lip Gallagher (to Carl): Hey, tw*t bag, the only reason you're not in summer school is 'cause they wouldn't have you.

Debbie Gallagher (singing):

I will burn for you

feel pain for you

I will twist the knife

and bleed my aching heart.

Lip Gallagher: What's up with Debs?

Carl Gallagher: Obsessed with death.

[cat_desc slug=terry-milkovich link=false]

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