Terry Milkovich: Gallagher!
Frank Gallagher: I paid you! I paid you, Terry!
(Frank is running away, but Terry is going after Ian...)
Monica Gallagher: What the fuck, Milkovich?!
Terry Milkovich: Get the fuck off me, you crazy bitch; this ain't about you.
Monica Gallagher: Frank, what the hell did you do?
Frank Gallagher: Why is it always my fault?
Terry Milkovich: My... little... princess...
Monica Gallagher: Leave him alone!
Terry Milkovich: My Mandy's pregnant, and this little shit's gonna pay.
Frank Gallagher (gives Ian a thumbs up): Atta boy.
(Frank and a homeless man watch Steve coach football...)
Frank Gallagher: I wish I'd had a girl coach. I'd totally tap that.
Homeless man: Yeah. I love long hair.
Frank Gallagher: No, no, no. The one with the little brunette pixieish cut. Man... Like a 1963 brunette Mia Farrow. No titties, all ass. Just sit and spin her all night long. Heaven.
Homeless man: I-I think that's a dude.
Frank Gallagher: Big responsibility, being a parent.
Lip Gallagher: Is that right?
Frank Gallagher: That's what I'm trying to tell you. My philosophy. You got to let kids learn for themselves.
Lip Gallagher: You mean, fend for themselves?
Frank Gallagher: You give a man a fish, you've fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, you've fed him for a lifetime. I raise fishermen. The best gift you can give, neglect. Neglect fosters self-reliance. Now, do the right thing. Split. Not our fault she was careless.
Doctor: Uh, we'd like you to participate in our medical study.
Frank Gallagher: Your what?
Doctor: In my whole career, I've never seen such a spectacular display of alcoholism.
Frank Gallagher: Thank you.
Doctor: Would you be able to abstain from alcohol for two weeks?
Frank Gallagher: No.
Doctor: We could offer you $3,000.
Frank Gallagher: Yes.
Kevin Ball: You have any idea what time it is?
Steve: It's Frank. He's...
Veronica Fisher: Yo.
Kevin Ball: Frank, what did I tell you?!
Frank Gallagher: Here we go. Neighbors of Satan.
Kevin Ball: The day you start paying rent around here, Frank, like the rest of us, you can play whatever shit you want. But if you're gonna pump up this time of night, you're gonna pump out the stuff that we like, okay?
Frank Gallagher (narration): Nobody's saying our neighborhood is the Garden of Eden. Hell, some people say God avoids this place altogether, but it's been a good home to us... to me and my kids, who I'm proud of, 'cause every single one of them reminds me a little bit of me. Fiona, my rock, huge help. Has all the best qualities of her mother, except she's not a raging psycho bitch. Lip, smart as a whip. Straight "A"s and the honor roll. Boy's definitely going somewhere. Ian, industrious, conscientious, ambitious, incredible work ethic. Don't have a clue where he got that from. Wants to be a paratrooper. Knows how to disembowel an enemy with a roll of dimes and an old gym sock. Carl. Uh, I don't really know that much about Carl. Oh, loves animals! Always dragging home some poor stray he found, taking them up to his room. Ah, Debbie. Sent by God, total angel. Raises money for UNICEF year-round, some of which she actually turns in. Liam, going to be a star. I'm no biologist, but he looks a little bit like my first sponsor. He and the ex were close. Kev and Veronica, fantastic neighbors. There's nothing they won't do for each other. Or to each other. I never realized how little sex I was having till V and Kev moved next door. And me, Frank Gallagher, father, teacher, mentor, captain of our little ship. We may not have much, but all of us, to a man, knows the most important thing in this life... we know how to fucking party!