Klaus Hargreeves: I mean, who in this room knows sh*t about relationships? This one? In secret love with some farm Frau.
Vanya Hargreeves: Her name’s Sissy.
Klaus Hargreeves: Which is an improvement on her previous love interest, the serial killer.
Vanya Hargreeves: What!?
Klaus Hargreeves: Meanwhile, I’m carrying a torch…
Allison Hargreeves (to Vanya): Later.
Klaus Hargreeves: For a soldier I haven’t technically met yet, and Luther is in love with his sister.
Allison Hargreeves: Okay, again, we are not biological.
Klaus Hargreeves: Face it, the healthiest long-term relationship in this family was when Five was banging that mannequin. The only thing the Umbrella Academy knows about love… is how to screw it up.
From The Umbrella Academy – Season 2 Episode 5: ‘Valhalla’ (2×05) | Produced by Netflix
