Sheldon Cooper (to Amy): I want you to be in charge of our wedding. Just you tell me where and when, and I will show up with a boutonniere and close-toed shoes and a... a Star Trek uniform underneath my tuxedo. That last part is non-negotiable.
Sheldon Cooper: You're proposing that the self is an illusion, and that we actually have multiple centers of consciousness that are communicating with one another?
Penny Hofstadter: In laymen's terms, yeah.
Sheldon Cooper: Huh. Interesting. So you don't believe there's a Cartesian self that underlies the flux of experience?
Penny Hofstadter: Maybe in my twenties, not anymore.
Amy Farrah Fowler: It's plausible that when we're asleep, aspects of our personality that we repress might come out.
Sheldon Cooper: Don't try to put science lipstick on your New Age pig! And for the record, you make noises when you sleep, and I've never accused you of repressing your inner chainsaw.
Sheldon Cooper: I see why you turned it off. That guy sounds like an idiot.
Penny Hofstadter: Honey, that's you.
Sheldon Cooper: Don't be silly. My voice is deep and sonorous. Like a Caucasian James Earl Jones. "Luke, I am your father." See?
Sheldon Cooper: I found the perfect wedding date.
Amy Farrah Fowler: That's terrific!
Sheldon Cooper: No, it's not. It was May 19, 1996. We would have had a lovely wedding.
And our honeymoon would have coincided with the first appearance of the Hale-Bopp comet.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Sheldon, you were 16.
Sheldon Cooper: And in Texas... no one would have batted an eye. Oh, wait, it's no good. That's the day that Jon Pertwee, the third Doctor Who, died.
Amy Farrah Fowler: And it's in the past!
Leonard Hofstadter: Sheldon's a complicated man.
Amy Farrah Fowler: He said "whatev."
Leonard Hofstadter: Give him a brain scan... that might be a tumor.
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: I just met this woman. Why don't I wait a little and get to know her? Maybe I won't like her, and then I'd be happy to ruin her life with Stuart or Raj.
Howard Wolowitz: That's all I ask.
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz (about new coworker): She's new in town, and I want to make her feel welcome. And let her know the office is full of liars before everyone tells her I'm mean.
Amy Farrah Fowler: We just need a weekend date that's completely boring and uneventful.
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Too bad you didn't get your ducks in a row, 'cause tonight would have been perfect.
Sheldon Cooper: It's not just a date... it's a textbook optimization problem. There is a perfect date... just like there's a perfect room temperature and a perfect dessert.
Penny Hofstadter: Mm. There's no perfect dessert.
Sheldon Cooper: Yellow cake in the shape of a dinosaur with chocolate frosting, a scoop of vanilla ice cream on the side, not touching. You'll see. You'll have it at our wedding.
Enjoy the best quotes / moments from The Big Bang Theory’s episode ‘The Relaxation Integration’. ‘The Relaxation Integration’ is the 3rd episode of season 11. (s11e03) In case you don’t remember what was this episode about or you’re not sure… Continue Reading →
Leonard Hofstadter: Are we running there? Because watching drunk Sheldon run would be the highlight of my life.