Rajesh Koothrappali: If you like fixing people, I could use some help.
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Raj. Why do you think you stopped wearing Crocs and socks?
Rajesh Koothrappali: Uh, well, one day I just woke up and realized they looked silly.
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Yes, you did. All on your own. (whispers to Howard): That's how good I am.
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: I can't believe Penny doesn't want to head up my sales team.
Rajesh Koothrappali: That's too bad. But it's her decision, not yours.
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Do you hear how dumb you sound?
Rajesh Koothrappali: Why does this matter to you so much?
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Because I believe in her, and I make people better. It's what I do.
Rajesh Koothrappali: Against their will?
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: It's no fun if they want to. That's just called watching. Look at Howard. He was a disaster when I met him. Now he's a foxy astronaut with a hot wife.
Rajesh Koothrappali: Wait, he always wanted to be an astronaut.
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: He thinks that, too. That's how good I am.
Penny Hofstadter: I'd be in charge of people that are far more educated with more experience; what if they don't listen to me?
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Then you be really mean to them. Have I taught you nothing? Penny, everybody feels like you do. Like they're not good enough, not smart enough.
Penny Hofstadter: What, even you?
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Of course.
(Assistant enters the room...)
Assistant: Dr. Rostenkowski, you wanted me...
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Hey, did they not teach knocking at Stanford? Get out! (he runs away) I love that kid.
Amy Farrah Fowler: The last time we were in this room, we were getting married.
Sheldon Cooper: I remember. It's a lot less impressive without Mark Hamill in it.
Amy Farrah Fowler: That's what you said about our honeymoon.
Sheldon Cooper: And I stand by it.
Amy Farrah Fowler: You guys will never believe what just happened.
Rajesh Koothrappali: Yeah, we heard. You did it.
Sheldon Cooper: We did do it.
Amy Farrah Fowler: And we didn't even know we did it!
Howard Wolowitz: Wait, what?
Sheldon Cooper: Two physicists in Chicago had to tell us.
Leonard Hofstadter: Wait, what?
Sheldon Cooper: Their experiment on kaon decay supported our predictions on the higher order corrections pertaining to super-asymmetry.
Penny Hofstadter: Wait, what?
Amy Farrah Fowler: A team of physicists confirmed super-asymmetry. Our paper was right. We did it.
Sheldon Cooper: We did it?
Amy Farrah Fowler: We did it.
Sheldon Cooper: We did it.
Amy and Sheldon (screaming): We did it! We did it! We did it!
(Rest of the gang can hear them outside of the appartment)
Penny Hofstadter: Aw, remember when they only did it on her birthday?
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Howie, shh.
Howard Wolowitz: What?
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: You can't bad-mouth Anu. They're gonna get back together, and you're gonna look like a jerk. I mean, remember when we broke up, and Penny said all those mean things about you?
Howard Wolowitz: What did she say?
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: I don't want to get into it. Some of it was hurtful, most of it was true.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Did you even read the article? Because I talk about you continuously.
Sheldon Cooper: I know, and it just made you sound modest and charming.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Why can't you just be proud of me?
Sheldon Cooper: I am proud of you.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Really? Because you sound jealous.
Sheldon Cooper: Well, I'm that, too. I've seen Inside Out. I know I can feel two things at once. (Bernadette shoots them both with a paintball gun...) Well, now I feel three things.
Sheldon Cooper: Congratulations, Amy. I'm so proud of you.
President Siebert: And that headline... "The Neurobiologist Who Revolutionized Physics."
Sheldon Cooper: I'm sorry. The who who did what to... huh?
Howard Wolowitz: Everything okay?
Rajesh Koothrappali: Yeah, it's just Anu's doorbell camera. I helped her install it.
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: You can't look at it. That's spying.
Rajesh Koothrappali: Who the hell is this guy?
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Ooh, let me see.
Anu: So I told my mom she just needed to back off. This is our wedding, and if anyone's gonna design the floral arrangements, it's going to be my man.
Rajesh Koothrappali: Thank you. I mean, I-I'm not trying to be a groomzilla, but... this is my special day.
Denise: Actually, I'm not on the clock today. I'm just hanging out with my boyfriend.
Stuart: Ah, cool. Huh. That's me, right?
Denise: Oh, I forgot to tell you... I broke up with you, and now I'm dating... that guy.
Stuart: I know you're joking, but my flight-or-flight response doesn't.
Denise: Isn't it fight-or-flight?
Stuart: Not for me.