Howard Wolowitz: So, he was your best friend growing up?
Tam Nguyen: Yes.
Howard Wolowitz: Were there no other kids in Texas?
Leonard Hofstadter (to Tam): Why did you and Sheldon stop being friends? What did you do?
Rajesh Koothrappali: And don't worry, even though we just met you, we think you're right and he's wrong.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Who's Tam?
Sheldon Cooper: He was my best friend in the whole world growing up.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Really? Why have I never heard you mention him before?
Sheldon Cooper: Oh, of course I have. I'm sure I've mentioned him, like, five times this week.
Amy Farrah Fowler: I don't think you have.
Sheldon Cooper: Tam! Tam! Tam! Tam! Tam! There, it's only Thursday.
Amy Farrah Fowler: I didn't just drink the crazy milk, I bought the crazy cow.
Amy Farrah Fowler: What the hell, Penny?!
Penny Hofstadter: I'm gonna need more than that.
Amy Farrah Fowler: You're not having kids? How could you do this to me?
Penny Hofstadter: How is it any of your business?
Amy Farrah Fowler: Because your kids were supposed to be friends with my kids. Who's gonna be friends with them now?
Penny Hofstadter: They will find other friends.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Oh, sure, 'cause Sheldon's DNA plus my DNA equals a kid who knows how to make friends. Grow up!
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Man, that is one hot weather girl.
Howard Wolowitz: How come if I say that I get in trouble?
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: You want to say it? You can say it.
Howard Wolowitz: Nice try. You're gonna have to find some other way to not have sex with me tonight. And it's not weather girl, it's weather woman.
Amy's Mother (to Leonard): You are so naive. Blondie here is gonna chew you up and spit you out.
Penny Hofstadter: Well, don't tell him.
Leonard Hofstadter: Raj is on next.
Penny Hofstadter: All right. I can't believe they canceled Vampire Diaries but they'll show this.
Leonard Hofstadter: This is the news.
Penny Hofstadter: And that was a woman torn between two hunky vampires. What is your point?
Howard Wolowitz: That was weird, right?
Leonard Hofstadter: Was it? I-I honestly can't tell anymore.
Mark Hammil: Amy, do you take Sheldon for your lawful wedded husband?
Amy Farrah Fowler: I do.
Mark Hammil: And, Sheldon, same thing.
Sheldon Cooper: I do.
Mark Hammil: Then by the power vested in me by EvenYouCanPerformWeddings.com... I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.
Sheldon Cooper: Amy... I usually know exactly what to say. But in this moment... I have no words. I guess... I'm overwhelmed by you. In a good way. Not in the elevator in the Haunted Mansion way. Even if I can't tell you now how I feel, I will spend my life showing you how much I love you.
Mark Hammil: We are gathered here today in the sight of family, friends and Almighty God.
Sheldon Cooper: That's too religious.
Mark Hammil: That lady over there made me say it.
Sheldon's Mother: He heard you, and he can't un-hear you.
Sheldon Cooper: Leonard. That's Mark Ha-Ha-Ha... It's-it's Mark Hami-Ha-Ha...
Leonard Hofstadter: Yep. Thank Wolowitz. He set it up.
Mark Hammil: Congratulations on your wedding.
Sheldon Cooper: Thank you. When this is over, I have 4,000 things for you to sign.
Amy Farrah Fowler: I-I thought Wil was marrying us.
Sheldon Cooper: Wolowitz got us an upgrade.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Another sci-fi guy with a beard. Seems lateral, but okay.
Penny Hofstadter: Where are you going?
Amy's Mother: This whole thing was a big mistake. I'm gonna find Amy and get her out of here.
Penny Hofstadter: Sit down!
Amy's Mother: Excuse me?
Penny Hofstadter: Sheldon loves Amy, and he would never hurt her on her wedding day or any other day, so park it. (Sheldon's mother gets up a wants to start a slow clap) Oh, you sit down, too.
Amy's Mother (to her husband): Are you gonna let her talk to me like that? Say something.
Amy's Father (to Penny): Thank you.