100+ Best 'The Big Bang Theory' Quotes | Scattered Quotes

The Big Bang Theory Quotes


The Big Bang Theory Quotes
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Synopsis/Summary

The lives of two geniuses named Dr. Leonard Hofstader and Dr. Sheldon Cooper change when they meet their new neighbor; motivated but unsuccessful actress Penny, who now works as a waitress at a diner. As they struggle socially, Penny decides to help them discover the world that they know everything about, but yet know nothing about how to live in it. Friends Howard and Rajesh are along for the ride. (IMDb)

Info and Release Dates

Produced by: CBS
Release Date: 1 May 2006
Status: Now airing – Season 12

Rajesh Koothrappali: If you like fixing people, I could use some help.

Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Raj. Why do you think you stopped wearing Crocs and socks?

Rajesh Koothrappali: Uh, well, one day I just woke up and realized they looked silly.

Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Yes, you did. All on your own. (whispers to Howard): That's how good I am.

Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: I can't believe Penny doesn't want to head up my sales team.

Rajesh Koothrappali: That's too bad. But it's her decision, not yours.

Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Do you hear how dumb you sound?

Rajesh Koothrappali: Why does this matter to you so much?

Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Because I believe in her, and I make people better. It's what I do.

Rajesh Koothrappali: Against their will?

Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: It's no fun if they want to. That's just called watching. Look at Howard. He was a disaster when I met him. Now he's a foxy astronaut with a hot wife.

Rajesh Koothrappali: Wait, he always wanted to be an astronaut.

Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: He thinks that, too. That's how good I am.

Penny Hofstadter: I'd be in charge of people that are far more educated with more experience; what if they don't listen to me?

Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Then you be really mean to them. Have I taught you nothing? Penny, everybody feels like you do. Like they're not good enough, not smart enough.

Penny Hofstadter: What, even you?

Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Of course.

(Assistant enters the room...)

Assistant: Dr. Rostenkowski, you wanted me...

Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Hey, did they not teach knocking at Stanford? Get out! (he runs away) I love that kid.

Amy Farrah Fowler: The last time we were in this room, we were getting married.

Sheldon Cooper: I remember. It's a lot less impressive without Mark Hamill in it.

Amy Farrah Fowler: That's what you said about our honeymoon.

Sheldon Cooper: And I stand by it.

6

Amy Farrah Fowler: You guys will never believe what just happened.

Rajesh Koothrappali: Yeah, we heard. You did it.

Sheldon Cooper: We did do it.

Amy Farrah Fowler: And we didn't even know we did it!

Howard Wolowitz: Wait, what?

Sheldon Cooper: Two physicists in Chicago had to tell us.

Leonard Hofstadter: Wait, what?

Sheldon Cooper: Their experiment on kaon decay supported our predictions on the higher order corrections pertaining to super-asymmetry.

Penny Hofstadter: Wait, what?

4

Amy Farrah Fowler: A team of physicists confirmed super-asymmetry. Our paper was right. We did it.

Sheldon Cooper: We did it?

Amy Farrah Fowler: We did it.

Sheldon Cooper: We did it.

Amy and Sheldon (screaming): We did it! We did it! We did it!

(Rest of the gang can hear them outside of the appartment)

Penny Hofstadter: Aw, remember when they only did it on her birthday?

3

Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Howie, shh.

Howard Wolowitz: What?

Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: You can't bad-mouth Anu. They're gonna get back together, and you're gonna look like a jerk. I mean, remember when we broke up, and Penny said all those mean things about you?

Howard Wolowitz: What did she say?

Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: I don't want to get into it. Some of it was hurtful, most of it was true.

5

Amy Farrah Fowler: Did you even read the article? Because I talk about you continuously.

Sheldon Cooper: I know, and it just made you sound modest and charming.

Amy Farrah Fowler: Why can't you just be proud of me?

Sheldon Cooper: I am proud of you.

Amy Farrah Fowler: Really? Because you sound jealous.

Sheldon Cooper: Well, I'm that, too. I've seen Inside Out. I know I can feel two things at once. (Bernadette shoots them both with a paintball gun...) Well, now I feel three things.

3

Sheldon Cooper: Congratulations, Amy. I'm so proud of you.

President Siebert: And that headline... "The Neurobiologist Who Revolutionized Physics."

Sheldon Cooper: I'm sorry. The who who did what to... huh?

3

Howard Wolowitz: Everything okay?

Rajesh Koothrappali: Yeah, it's just Anu's doorbell camera. I helped her install it.

Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: You can't look at it. That's spying.

Rajesh Koothrappali: Who the hell is this guy?

Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Ooh, let me see.

4

Anu: So I told my mom she just needed to back off. This is our wedding, and if anyone's gonna design the floral arrangements, it's going to be my man.

Rajesh Koothrappali: Thank you. I mean, I-I'm not trying to be a groomzilla, but... this is my special day.

5

Denise: Actually, I'm not on the clock today. I'm just hanging out with my boyfriend.

Stuart: Ah, cool. Huh. That's me, right?

Denise: Oh, I forgot to tell you... I broke up with you, and now I'm dating... that guy.

Stuart: I know you're joking, but my flight-or-flight response doesn't.

Denise: Isn't it fight-or-flight?

Stuart: Not for me.

5

Sheldon Cooper: Although, Amy and I did give the world a gift. It would be nice to read some of the thank-you notes.

Leonard Hofstadter: I'm surprised you're interested in some stranger's opinion.

Sheldon Cooper: Well, as I always say, a stranger's just a friend who hasn't complimented me yet.

3

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