Sheldon Cooper: I've been acting like the game is over, but it's only halftime. And there's a lot more physics left to play.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Wow, was that your first ever sports metaphor?
Sheldon Cooper: It was. And I think it was a home run. That's two.
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Like my mom used to say when I was doing pageants, "Tears only make your eyes sparkle brighter."
Rajesh Koothrappali: That is both sad and true. Half my Instagram is after a good cry.
(Amy and Sheldon are watching old video of young Sheldon)
Amy Farrah Fowler: Oh, look how cute you were.
Sheldon Cooper: Amy please, of course I was cute. Look how I turned out.
Amy Farrah Fowler: It is the emergency pep talk you made when you were a kid.
Sheldon Cooper: Oh, that. I was saving it for the day they stop making Star Wars movies. I don't think that's ever gonna happen.
Amy Farrah Fowler: How long has it been since you've seen it?
Sheldon Cooper: Not since the day I recorded it. No, I had just watched Back to the Future II, where Marty McFly gets a glimpse of his future self and that got me thinking, the day may come where I needed my help, like they did with that movie. That was not great.
Leonard Hofstadter: I have something that might help. It's-it's a recording of the only person whose opinion Sheldon actually respects.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Hawking? Feynman?
Leonard Hofstadter: No, himself. It's a pep talk he made when he was a kid. He gave it to me years ago and told me to save it for a real emergency.
Penny Hofstadter: What? You didn't break it out when he declared his room a sovereign nation and waged a trade war against us?
Leonard Hofstadter: His major export is talking. I didn't want that anyway.
(Penny explains to others what not to say infront of Amy and Sheldon to not make them upset...)
Penny Hofstadter: We should just try and avoid anything that makes them think of their project or science or Nobel Prizes or successes or failures.
(Amy and Sheldon walk in...)
Amy Farrah Fowler: What are you guys doing?
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Nothing.
Sheldon Cooper: Nothing? Like what my career has come to? Thanks a lot.
(Sheldon storms out of the room)
Howard Wolowitz: Nice going.
Leonard Hofstadter: The europium laser is so cool. It has a four-level f-f transition which provides for high power output, and its quantum efficiency is off the charts.
Sheldon Cooper: What are you going to use it for?
Leonard Hofstadter: I have no idea.
Leonard Hofstadter: So, I've narrowed it down to three worthwhile projects, but I only have the money to fund one of them. Lucky for you, I have a solution.
President Siebert: I can't wait.
Leonard Hofstadter: You free up more money and I fund all of them.
President Siebert: Mm, no.
Leonard Hofstadter: Or... hear me out... yes. That way, e-everybody's happy.
President Siebert: You can't make everybody happy.
Leonard Hofstadter: I think I can.
President Siebert: You can't.
Leonard Hofstadter: Well, actually...
President Siebert: You're making me unhappy.
Leonard Hofstadter: Okay, what would you do?
President Siebert: I'd find some sap and put him in charge so I wouldn't have to be the bad guy.
Leonard Hofstadter: That's a really good ide... Oh.
Amy Farrah Fowler: What do you guys think you're doing?
Rajesh Koothrappali: We're showing Sheldon "Halloween".
Amy Farrah Fowler: Absolutely not. Sheldon, come home.
Sheldon Cooper: But I really want to watch it.
Amy Farrah Fowler: I know you do, but I am forbidding it.
Sheldon Cooper: Oh, man. Sorry, guys. (Amy and Sheldon leave...) What took you so long?
Amy Farrah Fowler: I'm sorry. I just got your text!
Bert Kibbler: Really? An arranged marriage?
Rajesh Koothrappali: Yeah. I know how it sounds.
Bert Kibbler: It sounds awesome. Is that just an Indian thing, or can I get a piece of that?
Anu: You know the woman has a choice, right?
Bert Kibbler: There's always a catch.