Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Man, that is one hot weather girl.
Howard Wolowitz: How come if I say that I get in trouble?
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: You want to say it? You can say it.
Howard Wolowitz: Nice try. You're gonna have to find some other way to not have sex with me tonight. And it's not weather girl, it's weather woman.
Penny Hofstadter: You know, when my yoga instructor was pregnant, she told me there are tons of poses that put her right into labor.
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: I'll try, but I feel like bendy poses are what got me into this mess.
Penny Hofstadter: Okay, we're gonna start with some nice breathing exercises.
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Sorry. I can't think of anything except how flat your belly is.
Penny Hofstadter: Oh, thank you.
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Go put on some more clothes, you bitch.
Howard Wolowitz: Hey, Bernie, you mind if I run to Leonard's and...
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Get a laptop full of money? Why are you still here?! Go, go, go!
Rajesh Koothrappali: You don't know what this little boy's gonna be like. Maybe he'll be rough and tumble, or maybe he'll be sweet and sensitive, or maybe he'll be all those things, like me.
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: You're rough and tumble?
Rajesh Koothrappali: You bet I am, bitch. But I'm also sensitive and regret saying that.
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: I just met this woman. Why don't I wait a little and get to know her? Maybe I won't like her, and then I'd be happy to ruin her life with Stuart or Raj.
Howard Wolowitz: That's all I ask.
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz (about new coworker): She's new in town, and I want to make her feel welcome. And let her know the office is full of liars before everyone tells her I'm mean.
Amy Farrah Fowler: We just need a weekend date that's completely boring and uneventful.
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Too bad you didn't get your ducks in a row, 'cause tonight would have been perfect.
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: I'm obviously pregnant.
Sheldon Cooper: Well, you never said it to my face. And the last time I assumed a woman was pregnant, it did not go over well.
Penny Hofstadter: Yeah, I'm still mad at you.
Sheldon Cooper: You were drinking water instead of wine. What was I supposed to think?
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: We realized that it's a gift, in the sense that we didn't ask for it, and we may not have chosen it...
Howard Wolowitz: And we already have one.
Penny Hofstadter: You know, whenever I find a top I like, I always go back and get a second one in a different color. (pause) Which I hope is not the case with your baby.