20+ Best 'Penny Hofstadter' Quotes | Scattered Quotes

Penny Hofstadter Quotes

• • • Character from The Big Bang Theory • • •

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Amy Farrah Fowler: What the hell, Penny?!

Penny Hofstadter: I'm gonna need more than that.

Amy Farrah Fowler: You're not having kids? How could you do this to me?

Penny Hofstadter: How is it any of your business?

Amy Farrah Fowler: Because your kids were supposed to be friends with my kids. Who's gonna be friends with them now?

Penny Hofstadter: They will find other friends.

Amy Farrah Fowler: Oh, sure, 'cause Sheldon's DNA plus my DNA equals a kid who knows how to make friends. Grow up!

Amy's Mother (to Leonard): You are so naive. Blondie here is gonna chew you up and spit you out.

Penny Hofstadter: Well, don't tell him.

Leonard Hofstadter: Raj is on next.

Penny Hofstadter: All right. I can't believe they canceled Vampire Diaries but they'll show this.

Leonard Hofstadter: This is the news.

Penny Hofstadter: And that was a woman torn between two hunky vampires. What is your point?

Penny Hofstadter: Where are you going?

Amy's Mother: This whole thing was a big mistake. I'm gonna find Amy and get her out of here.

Penny Hofstadter: Sit down!

Amy's Mother: Excuse me?

Penny Hofstadter: Sheldon loves Amy, and he would never hurt her on her wedding day or any other day, so park it. (Sheldon's mother gets up a wants to start a slow clap) Oh, you sit down, too.

Amy's Mother (to her husband): Are you gonna let her talk to me like that? Say something.

Amy's Father (to Penny): Thank you.


(Penny and Amy are going through wedding magazines)

Amy Farrah Fowler: It's just so hard to tell what will look good on me.

Penny Hofstadter: No. This is just to give you ideas. You know, do-do you want something simple and elegant? I mean, do you want a train?

Sheldon Cooper: Ooh, we're talking about trains.

Amy Farrah Fowler: Not the kind of trains you like.

Sheldon Cooper: Oh, I like all kinds of trains... steam, diesel, coal, elevated, bullet. I defy you to name a train that I don't like.

Penny Hofstadter: The kind on the back of a wedding dress?

Sheldon Cooper: I did not see that coming. Good job.


(Leonard gets a text)

Penny Hofstadter: Who is that?

Leonard Hofstadter: Sheldon.

Penny Hofstadter: Who is he mad at?

Leonard Hofstadter: Neil Gaiman.

Penny Hofstadter: Who's that?

Leonard Hofstadter: Not us.

Penny Hofstadter: Great.


Sheldon Cooper: I suppose it is time I passed this on to Leonard.

Penny Hofstadter: Thank you.

Leonard Hofstadter: Yeah, thanks. I-I know that's hard for you.

Sheldon Cooper: Well, it was. But you know what? Instead of being in charge, I can now be the vocal opposition, criticizing and badgering the president at every turn.

Amy Farrah Fowler: I think you'll be really good at that.

Sheldon Cooper: Me, too.

Leonard Hofstadter: I think I've made a huge mistake.

Penny Hofstadter: Me, too.


Leonard Hofstadter: I'm running for president of the tenants association and I could really use your vote.

Tenant: Uh, who's president now?

Penny Hofstadter: Uh, Sheldon Cooper. You know, about yay tall and about yay annoying.

Tenant: So you want me to vote against Sheldon Cooper?

Leonard Hofstadter: Yeah. You just need to show up at a meeting...

Tenant: Oh, no, no. No can do. He's got a restraining order against me.

Penny Hofstadter: Really? Why?

Tenant: Uh, I locked him on the roof once. (whispers): Three times.


Leonard Hofstadter: So you're gonna spend a day with Bill Gates. I'm a little jealous.

Penny Hofstadter: Well, I'm a little nervous. You know, if I do a good job, I'm hoping they'll consider me for a PR position that's opening up.

Leonard Hofstadter: Well, if you're nervous, I-I know a lot about him. I can fill you in or maybe come along, whatever.

Penny Hofstadter: I think I'll be okay.

Leonard Hofstadter: Well, I'm-I'm just saying, what are you gonna do when he wants to talk about high-level language interpreters for microcomputers?

Penny Hofstadter: What are high-level language interpreters for microcomputers?

Leonard Hofstadter: A way of programming computers using words and commands instead of binary code.

Penny Hofstadter: Oh. That's actually kind of interesting. Tell me more.

Leonard Hofstadter: Oh, well...

Penny Hofstadter: That, I'll do that.

Leonard Hofstadter: I didn't even see it coming.

Penny Hofstadter: Yeah, well... You never do.


Penny Hofstadter: You know, when my yoga instructor was pregnant, she told me there are tons of poses that put her right into labor.

Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: I'll try, but I feel like bendy poses are what got me into this mess.

Penny Hofstadter: Okay, we're gonna start with some nice breathing exercises.

Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Sorry. I can't think of anything except how flat your belly is.

Penny Hofstadter: Oh, thank you.

Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Go put on some more clothes, you bitch.


Penny Hofstadter: What's that noise?

Leonard Hofstadter: Oh, it's my new keyboard. It looks and sounds like an old-fashioned typewriter. It makes me feel like a real novelist.

Penny Hofstadter: You poured yourself a Scotch.

Leonard Hofstadter: Apple juice.

Penny Hofstadter: Oh.

Leonard Hofstadter: But unsweetened, like Hemingway used to drink.


Sheldon Cooper: That is a list of all the different types of natural disasters.

Penny Hofstadter: “Fire-quake”?

Sheldon Cooper: I made that one up. Which I shouldn't have, because now I'm scared of it.