Penny Hofstadter: I'd be in charge of people that are far more educated with more experience; what if they don't listen to me?
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Then you be really mean to them. Have I taught you nothing? Penny, everybody feels like you do. Like they're not good enough, not smart enough.
Penny Hofstadter: What, even you?
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Of course.
(Assistant enters the room...)
Assistant: Dr. Rostenkowski, you wanted me...
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Hey, did they not teach knocking at Stanford? Get out! (he runs away) I love that kid.
Amy Farrah Fowler: You guys will never believe what just happened.
Rajesh Koothrappali: Yeah, we heard. You did it.
Sheldon Cooper: We did do it.
Amy Farrah Fowler: And we didn't even know we did it!
Howard Wolowitz: Wait, what?
Sheldon Cooper: Two physicists in Chicago had to tell us.
Leonard Hofstadter: Wait, what?
Sheldon Cooper: Their experiment on kaon decay supported our predictions on the higher order corrections pertaining to super-asymmetry.
Penny Hofstadter: Wait, what?
Amy Farrah Fowler: A team of physicists confirmed super-asymmetry. Our paper was right. We did it.
Sheldon Cooper: We did it?
Amy Farrah Fowler: We did it.
Sheldon Cooper: We did it.
Amy and Sheldon (screaming): We did it! We did it! We did it!
(Rest of the gang can hear them outside of the appartment)
Penny Hofstadter: Aw, remember when they only did it on her birthday?
Leonard Hofstadter: I have something that might help. It's-it's a recording of the only person whose opinion Sheldon actually respects.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Hawking? Feynman?
Leonard Hofstadter: No, himself. It's a pep talk he made when he was a kid. He gave it to me years ago and told me to save it for a real emergency.
Penny Hofstadter: What? You didn't break it out when he declared his room a sovereign nation and waged a trade war against us?
Leonard Hofstadter: His major export is talking. I didn't want that anyway.
(Penny explains to others what not to say infront of Amy and Sheldon to not make them upset...)
Penny Hofstadter: We should just try and avoid anything that makes them think of their project or science or Nobel Prizes or successes or failures.
(Amy and Sheldon walk in...)
Amy Farrah Fowler: What are you guys doing?
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Nothing.
Sheldon Cooper: Nothing? Like what my career has come to? Thanks a lot.
(Sheldon storms out of the room)
Howard Wolowitz: Nice going.
Penny Hofstadter: Bernadette, why don't we get to dress up at work?
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: We used to, but a couple guys in the infectious disease lab went as zombies and it triggered a quarantine. The CDC was so mad.
Amy Farrah Fowler: What the hell, Penny?!
Penny Hofstadter: I'm gonna need more than that.
Amy Farrah Fowler: You're not having kids? How could you do this to me?
Penny Hofstadter: How is it any of your business?
Amy Farrah Fowler: Because your kids were supposed to be friends with my kids. Who's gonna be friends with them now?
Penny Hofstadter: They will find other friends.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Oh, sure, 'cause Sheldon's DNA plus my DNA equals a kid who knows how to make friends. Grow up!
Amy's Mother (to Leonard): You are so naive. Blondie here is gonna chew you up and spit you out.
Penny Hofstadter: Well, don't tell him.
Leonard Hofstadter: Raj is on next.
Penny Hofstadter: All right. I can't believe they canceled Vampire Diaries but they'll show this.
Leonard Hofstadter: This is the news.
Penny Hofstadter: And that was a woman torn between two hunky vampires. What is your point?
Penny Hofstadter: Where are you going?
Amy's Mother: This whole thing was a big mistake. I'm gonna find Amy and get her out of here.
Penny Hofstadter: Sit down!
Amy's Mother: Excuse me?
Penny Hofstadter: Sheldon loves Amy, and he would never hurt her on her wedding day or any other day, so park it. (Sheldon's mother gets up a wants to start a slow clap) Oh, you sit down, too.
Amy's Mother (to her husband): Are you gonna let her talk to me like that? Say something.
Amy's Father (to Penny): Thank you.
(Penny and Amy are going through wedding magazines)
Amy Farrah Fowler: It's just so hard to tell what will look good on me.
Penny Hofstadter: No. This is just to give you ideas. You know, do-do you want something simple and elegant? I mean, do you want a train?
Sheldon Cooper: Ooh, we're talking about trains.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Not the kind of trains you like.
Sheldon Cooper: Oh, I like all kinds of trains... steam, diesel, coal, elevated, bullet. I defy you to name a train that I don't like.
Penny Hofstadter: The kind on the back of a wedding dress?
Sheldon Cooper: I did not see that coming. Good job.