Paige: Sheldon, it's just a fun scary story.
Sheldon Cooper: It's nonsense is what it is.
Missy Cooper: Old man.
Sheldon Cooper: I'm not an old man, I'm ten.
Missy Cooper: More like 110.
Paige: You know, I read that adults who had a stunted childhood often become social misfits and weirdos.
Sheldon Cooper: You didn't read that, you're making it up like your goat story.
Paige: Psychology Magazine, February issue, 1988.
Sheldon Cooper: Well, um... That doesn't make it true.
Paige: Guess you'll find out when you're an adult.
Sheldon Cooper: I guess I will.
Sheldon Cooper (narration): Well, we know how this story ends. I grew up to become a well-adjusted and charming fellow. But at that moment in time, she had me worried.
(Little Sheldon finishes his first video game...)
Sheldon Cooper (narration): Since that night, I've battled orcs, zombies, Na*zis, Na*zi-zombies, a dinosaur in a go-kart, and played Van Halen's "Hot for Teacher" on a stringless, plastic guitar. But nothing would ever compare to that first quest with my meemaw. Although Leonard pulling a groin muscle doing Dance Dance Revolution was a close second.
Sheldon Cooper: Dad, do you believe that fossils are millions of years old?
George Cooper Sr.: I guess. Why?
Sheldon Cooper: Well, Mom believes the world was only created 6,000 years ago.
George Cooper Sr.: Yeah. So?
Sheldon Cooper: Are these differences a sticking point in your marriage?
George Cooper Sr.: Not at all.
Sheldon Cooper: Why?
George Cooper Sr.: Simple. We never talk about it.
Sheldon Cooper: So you just avoid discussing topics you don't agree on?
George Cooper Sr.: At all costs.
Sheldon Cooper: Hearing that further convinces me I'll never get married.
George Cooper Sr.: Never say never.
Sheldon Cooper: Why not? You just said it twice.
Sheldon Cooper (narration about Veronica): My mother's fears that no one would be saved that Halloween night were proven incorrect. Mr. Lundy's scene about lust made a deep impact on my brother's date. She asked to be saved by Jesus. And as it turns out, she was. She went on to live a life devoted to God, feeding the poor, even helping her sister start a literacy program for female prisoners. My brother, on the other hand, became a devout atheist after that night.
Sheldon Cooper: Actually, fear has been a recruiting tactic used by organized religion for centuries. When you add guilt to keep people in line, it's an extremely efficient form of crowd control.
Mary Cooper: Our religion is based on love, Sheldon, not fear.
Sheldon Cooper: So what happens when people don't follow the rules?
Mary Cooper: They burn in hell... Because God loves 'em.
Sheldon Cooper (narration): While my sister and I are twins, we've always been different. By the age of two, I was reading books. Missy was content to eat them. By five, I had a healthy appreciation for a well-organized work space. My sister, less so. Which is not to say she doesn't have qualities I admire. (scene of Missy killing a spider) The bond between twins is an incredibly close one, which is why I moved 1,500 miles to California the first chance I got.
Amy Farrah Fowler: You guys will never believe what just happened.
Rajesh Koothrappali: Yeah, we heard. You did it.
Sheldon Cooper: We did do it.
Amy Farrah Fowler: And we didn't even know we did it!
Howard Wolowitz: Wait, what?
Sheldon Cooper: Two physicists in Chicago had to tell us.
Leonard Hofstadter: Wait, what?
Sheldon Cooper: Their experiment on kaon decay supported our predictions on the higher order corrections pertaining to super-asymmetry.
Penny Hofstadter: Wait, what?
Amy Farrah Fowler: A team of physicists confirmed super-asymmetry. Our paper was right. We did it.
Sheldon Cooper: We did it?
Amy Farrah Fowler: We did it.
Sheldon Cooper: We did it.
Amy and Sheldon (screaming): We did it! We did it! We did it!
(Rest of the gang can hear them outside of the appartment)
Penny Hofstadter: Aw, remember when they only did it on her birthday?
Amy Farrah Fowler: Did you even read the article? Because I talk about you continuously.
Sheldon Cooper: I know, and it just made you sound modest and charming.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Why can't you just be proud of me?
Sheldon Cooper: I am proud of you.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Really? Because you sound jealous.
Sheldon Cooper: Well, I'm that, too. I've seen Inside Out. I know I can feel two things at once. (Bernadette shoots them both with a paintball gun...) Well, now I feel three things.
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