Goddess: Your father never sent you to Hell. I did.
Lucifer Morningstar: Oh, great. Much better.
Goddess: I did it to save your life. After the rebellion, your father was angry. Deeply angry. He wanted to destroy you. I begged him not to. I asked him to send you to Hell instead. I did it because I love you, son. And I always will.
Lucifer Morningstar: Detective. If you're gonna follow me following him, we should have just drove together.
Lucifer Morningstar: I mean, how far can a celestial being trapped in a feeble human body for the first time get?
Mazikeen: Well, let's see. She's stupid hot, wearing my clothes, and she's got a corporate credit card.
Lucifer Morningstar: Bollocks.
Goddess (watching food ad on tv): Mazikeen, what is this strange gooey substance that this boy is cooing about?
Mazikeen: You watching porn?
Dan Espinoza: It's a little unusual for a woman to strangle someone.
Lucifer Morningstar: But look at the size of the bruising, clearly not man hands.
Ella Lopez: I've seen some guys with some pretty tiny lady hands.
Lucifer Morningstar: Dan doesn't count.
Chloe Decker: Trixie's best friend Landa got a new All-American doll, and now Trixie wants one. So what does she do? She destroys her old doll, expecting me to replace it.
Lucifer Morningstar: Mm, impressive. But, then, I'd expect nothing less from the shrewd little minx.
Lucifer Morningstar: You're gonna have to lose those clothes. They're a serious problem. Taking you home, 'cause this being out in public thing obviously isn't working. And then we're gonna see my colleague... Mum!
Lucifer Morningstar: You're naked!
Goddess: Well, you said the clothes were a problem, so problem solved.
Lucifer Morningstar: Stay in the bloody car, will you?! God. Traumatized for eternity now, so thank you very much for that.
Goddess: What happened to your wings, son?
Lucifer Morningstar: I cut them off.
Goddess: Why would you...? I mean, come to Earth, get a haircut or something, but that's a little extreme.
Lucifer Morningstar: Gosh, perhaps we shouldn't have borrowed from Maze. Her clothing is insufficient.
Goddess: Yes. Half my hide is exposed. Human attire is very impractical.
Goddess: I apologize for my human form, but... at least this one has supreme hindquarters.
Lucifer Morningstar: You're lying.
Goddess: No. They're quite sturdy. Feel it.
Lucifer Morningstar: I wasn't referring, nor will I ever refer, to your butt, Mother.