Chloe Decker (to Trixie): You know, it can be scary sometimes, but... being who you really are is never a bad idea.
Linda Martin: How's that saying go? We're all in the gutter, but some of us are looking up at the stars.
Lucifer Morningstar: The stars are just gas bags, and I never would have fed Oscar that line had I known how much I'd have to hear people quote it back to me.
Linda Martin: Oscar freakin' Wilde?
Lucifer Morningstar: Now, he was an interesting bachelor.
Linda Martin: So... Oscar, huh? Tell me everything.
Lucifer Morningstar: Well... he was straight when I first met him.
Lucifer Morningstar: Whatever he says to you, just laugh.
Guy: Hey there. What's your name?
Chloe Decker: (Laughs crazily) Lucinda.
Lucifer Morningstar: No, no... Not like a demented witch on crack. A deep, sultry laugh.
Lucifer Morningstar: Why don't we do a little role-play, hmm? You be a randy single man, I'll be... I'll be the new you. (pretends to push his hair from his face)
Chloe Decker: Okay, I've never once done that.
Lucifer Morningstar: My point exactly. Meet Lucinda. Come on.
Chloe Decker: Can't be that hard being frivolous and shallow. I'll just channel my inner Lucifer.
Lucifer Morningstar: What, you want to become a female version of me? Okay. I'll gladly train you.
Ella Lopez: Chloe does Lucifer?
Chloe Decker: I wouldn't exactly word it that way...
Lucifer Morningstar: Get ready to go full me, Detective.
Chloe Decker (to Reese): Lucifer, he does this. He notices things that normal people are too... normal to notice, but it, uh, has a tendency of paying off.
Dan Espinoza: I don't like Lucifer.
Reese Getty: Really?
Dan Espinoza: For starters, someone's been stealing my pudding. And I don't think it's a coincidence that it all started when he showed up.
Lucifer Morningstar (to Chloe): The truth is... I... went to Las Vegas. And even though it was for a very good reason, I didn't tell you because... last time I went on a Vegas jaunt, there were some very unpleasant feelings involved for both of us. And, well, I didn't want to dredge any of those up again. So, I... bluffed. But I've come to realize that perhaps bluffing is the same as lying and that's, as you know, something I never want to do. Especially to you.
(Chloe seems to be sleeping, but is only pretending to)
Ella Lopez: Ixnay on the ot-nay andy-cay.
Lucifer Morningstar: Sorry, is that German? 'Cause if it is, it's absolutely awful. Trust me, I should know. Hitler was a talker. Well, screamer, actually.
Ella Lopez: No, I'm saying that for now, we shouldn't let LVPD know that that's not Candy.
Chloe Decker: That was Trixie's school calling. Apparently, she's been using some very creative language today.
Lucifer Morningstar: Oh. Do tell.
Chloe Decker: Well, she called her math homework a "cluster duck" and her teacher a "mother flunker."
Lucifer Morningstar: Did she not call anyone a "sock sucker"? What? It's just someone who sucks socks.
Chloe Decker: I can't believe you're teaching my daughter loophole swear words.
Lucifer Morningstar: In my defense, "mother flunker" was entirely the little deviant's creation. And very clever of her, I might add.