Ella Lopez: So, did you and Lucifer finally get over your issues and under the covers for the old no-pants dance?
Chloe Decker: We sure did.
Ella Lopez: Well, I'm so sorry, Decker. You know, sometimes... Wait, I'm sorry. Rewind. Did you just say yes?
Chloe Decker: Uh-huh.
Ella Lopez: OMG! Oh! I was so ready to have my Deckerstar dreams crushed again.
Chloe Decker: Why?
Ella Lopez: 'Cause it's been one bummer after another with you two. I didn't want to get my hopes up.
Chloe Decker: Yeah, I know. I mean, it has been a long road, but, well, here we are.
Chloe Decker: Sleeping with the Devil, it must be different somehow, right?
Linda Martin: Well, it's not like he has a forked penis or anything.
Chloe Decker: Oh, he doesn't?
Linda Martin: I mean, it's totally normal. I mean, well... I mean, way, way above average. I mean, it's perfect. Seriously, sex with Lucifer is the last thing you should be worried about. What you should be worried about is that he's unfathomably narcissistic, utterly terrified of intimacy, and sabotages everything good that ever happens to him. So essentially, he's the oldest, most immature person in the world. Nay, "universe."
Ella Lopez: I thought you guys were gonna finally, you know, hang out tonight. Mm.
Chloe Decker: Yeah, well, it... Got postponed.
Ella Lopez: Oh, you're nervous that you won't measure up in bed. I mean, he is pretty experienced. I mean, I'd put it, like, in the thousands, probably. But you know what, you got this. You totally got this. You're sexy.
Chloe Decker: That actually hadn't crossed my mind.
Ella Lopez: Oh, you're waiting on an STD check! Super smart.
Chloe Decker: I had a... interesting conversation with Amenadiel.
Lucifer Morningstar: Please tell me you're not making him police consultant. Anything but that.
Chloe Decker: No, actually. He has, um, a theory about why I make you vulnerable.
Lucifer Morningstar: Oh. Do tell.
Chloe Decker: Well... His theory is that... I don't.
Lucifer Morningstar: Well, I have many scars to prove otherwise.
Chloe Decker: He thinks that... you choose to be vulnerable around me.
Lucifer Morningstar: I choose to... Well, I'll be damned. I think he might be right. I... Detective.
Chloe Decker: Lucifer. If that's true... If you choose to be vulnerable around me... then I choose to be vulnerable around you.
Lucifer Morningstar: Thank you for finally agreeing to meet with me, Detective.
Chloe Decker: Well, after 57 phone calls, twice as many texts, the billboard off Sunset, and the ill-conceived stripper-gram...
Lucifer Morningstar: In my defense, Roberto came highly recommended.
Chloe Decker: Lucifer, I am ready to talk, and yes, thank you for being patient, but I really don't know what you can say that's going to make a difference.
Chloe Decker: I mean, does that bother you at all, that you have no say in what your character does or says?
Brianna Davis (Detective Dancer): Are you kidding? I'm a lead in a hit show, and you know, there are strippers out there considering becoming detectives now. I'm kind of a role model.
Lucifer Morningstar: Oh, lovely.
Chloe Decker (to Michael): I don't know why you're here and I don't care, but I do know that I am glad, because you made me realize that all my fears that Lucifer had changed were just that. They were fears. What Lucifer and I have is special. It's real, and it doesn't matter how many lies you tell me. I will never lose faith... in me and him.
(Michael is pretending to be Lucifer, Chloe shoots him all of a sudden...)
Chloe Decker: Once I shot Lucifer to prove he was the Devil, and now I'm shooting you to prove you're not. (Michael is not bleeding) That's what I thought.
Michael: How long have you known?
Chloe Decker: I knew something was off the first time I kissed you. But you always had such good explanations, such good lies. I wanted to believe you. But then I saw you with Maze. That's when I knew. Lucifer would never... do that to me. So... Who are you?
Michael: I'm Lucifer's brother. Michael. It's nice to meet... Ow! (Chloe shoots him again) You know that won't kill me.
(Chloe shoots him two more times...)
Chloe Decker: Yeah, but it makes me feel better.
(Chloe is noticing Lucifer is acting out of character at the interogations...)
Vanus Hyatt: Did you know that I engineered five of my fragrances myself? The fruit scents are slightly controversial, but everyone loved my melons.
Chloe Decker (to Michael/Lucifer): Mm-hmm. (laughs) Oh... Really? Nothing? (whispers): At least hit on her.
Michael: Why would I do that? She might be a murderer.
Lucifer Morningstar: I don't want you to see me like this. I know it scares you.
Chloe Decker: No, that's... that's what I was trying to tell you. I'm not... I'm not afraid of you anymore.
Lucifer Morningstar: You're not?
Dromos: You see, this is what I'm talking about. It's so sweet. I'm going to puke.