Amenadiel (to Lucifer about Chloe): You sure you don't want to chase after her? Maybe I can ask Father for some rain and make it a moment.
Amenadiel (talking about auctioned chains): Paul's wrists were too thick to fit in those chains.
Lucifer Morningstar: I know. That man never could pass on dessert, could he?
Amenadiel: He should have been the Saint of...
Lucifer Morningstar: Honey cakes?
Amenadiel: A toast to Dr. Linda Martin, therapist to the Devil himself.
Dr. Linda: I should put that on the door.
Amenadiel: You asked me here to tell me that?
Lucifer Morningstar: No, no, no, I thought I’d use you to remedy a situation that I’ve mishandled, and annoy you in the process. Kill two birds with one prayer sort of thing, hmm?
Amenadiel: All that I am saying is that this alliance with Pierce will not end well.
Lucifer Morningstar: Well, one can only hope. And all I'm saying is that if you continue to meddle, Amenadiel... then you will be in my way.
Amenadiel: Well, then, Brother.
Lucifer Morningstar: Yes.
Amenadiel: I guess I'll be in your way.
Amenadiel: Father cursed him for a reason. I know you think you're friends with Pierce. I get it, but I am warning you, Luci. He has but one selfish goal. And working with him will only incur Father's wrath.
Lucifer Morningstar (laughing): What the...? That's the bloody point.
Amenadiel: I know that my Father is punishing you because you killed your own brother.
Marcus Pierce: Yeah, notice anyone else in here who plotted to kill his own brother?
Amenadiel: No, that was different.
Marcus Pierce: Well, it was only different 'cause you failed.
Amenadiel: We are nothing alike.
Marcus Pierce: Yeah, you're right. At least I had the balls to do it myself. You pawned the task off on someone else, you're worse. And if this is the punishment that I get for my crimes, what do you deserve?
Amenadiel: You know, I just don't understand it. I've never had a human illness before. But sore throat, itchy eyes, a fever... Is it a cold? The flu?
Doctor: It's chlamydia.
Amenadiel: Excuse me?
Doctor: It's a sexually transmitted disease.
Amenadiel: Right, but I can't have chlamydia. I'm an angel.
Doctor: Not to worry. A round of antibiotics and you'll be back to your, uh, angelic ways.
Amenadiel: Father will be furious. And you will suffer His wrath.
Lucifer Morningstar: Well... then He knows where to find me.
Lucifer Morningstar: Of course it'll work, Brother. That's why you asked me, remember? Someone crafty, smart...
Amenadiel: And evil.
Lucifer Morningstar: Evil?
Amenadiel: Well, if you want to find a deplorable criminal, you just ask a... well, you know what I mean, Luci. Come on. You are the Devil, after all.
Amenadiel: I suppose it's time to torture him. So, you're up.
Lucifer Morningstar: Look, just because I am the King of Hell doesn't mean I actually do the torturing. I'm more of a delegator.
Amenadiel: There must be hundreds of porn stars in Hell.
Lucifer Morningstar: Sadly, no, on account of all the good work they do here on Earth, I assume.