Lucifer Morningstar: Do you think it's possible I've given my power to everyone I've ever had sex with and just never knew it?
Linda Martin: Uh... Who, me? No.
Lucifer Morningstar: Well, we did the deed, several times, and in, you know, all sorts of positions.
Linda Martin: Yes, I remember. How could I forget? Anyway... But, Lucifer, your mojo is like a superpower. I don't have it. Or do I? I guess I've never tried.
Lucifer Morningstar: Well, let's try now. Come on. Lean in. Look into my eyes. Ask me what I desire.
Linda Martin: This is good. I mean...Lucifer... what do you desire?
Lucifer Morningstar: No. Nada. Totally limp.
Linda Martin: Oof. Ouch.
Lucifer Morningstar: Well, that's several million bullets dodged.
Chloe Decker: Sleeping with the Devil, it must be different somehow, right?
Linda Martin: Well, it's not like he has a forked penis or anything.
Chloe Decker: Oh, he doesn't?
Linda Martin: I mean, it's totally normal. I mean, well... I mean, way, way above average. I mean, it's perfect. Seriously, sex with Lucifer is the last thing you should be worried about. What you should be worried about is that he's unfathomably narcissistic, utterly terrified of intimacy, and sabotages everything good that ever happens to him. So essentially, he's the oldest, most immature person in the world. Nay, "universe."
(Linda is talking about everything she does with Charlie...)
Dan Espinoza: Wow, that is some schedule.
Linda Martin: I know, I know. It's a lot of work, but it's all about raising the best child possible. He's special.
Dan Espinoza: Yeah. We all think our own kid can walk on water, right?
Linda Martin: I hadn't thought of that... (writes on a post-it): "Cancel swimming lessons."
Amenadiel: What about the name Zoriel? That's a good name for a warrior. We can call him Zori for short. Or Ezekiel. Zek.
Linda Martin: Yeah. Erm... I was thinking about the name... Jack.
Amenadiel: Mm. Mm. Short for Jackiel. We could definitely put that on the list. Right after Azmortiel.
Linda Martin: I was hoping for a more mainstream name. Our child is going to have enough challenges considering his nature.
Amenadiel: Linda's not really prepared for a house guest.
Mazikeen: This is happening, okay? Deal with it. Auntie Maze is here to help with the baby, whether you like it or not.
Linda Martin: Auntie Maze. I love it. We can use all the help we can get.
Mazikeen: Good. It's settled. Now, where do I put my knives?
Chloe Decker: You're different than me. You're stronger. You could have run, but you didn't. Why didn't you?
Linda Martin: I don't know. I guess... with all the bad... comes a lot of good. I got a best friend out of this. And the... most fascinating patient in the world. And this baby. Who saw that coming? I guess, as freaked out as I am... I'm really looking forward to being a mom. And meeting my son. Wings and all.
Linda's Obgyn: Do you see that little protrusion right there? You're having a boy.
Amenadiel: A boy?
Mazikeen: Better luck next time.
Amenadiel: Do you see a second protrusion anywhere? Maybe even a third?
Linda's Obgyn: Typically, there's only one p*nis.
Amenadiel: Nah. I was looking for the wings.
Linda's Obgyn: The wings?
Linda Martin: You know what? I guess, at some point, we all like to think of our babies as little angels.
Linda's Obgyn: Oh, yes!
(Linda pulls roughly Amenadiel close to her...)
Linda Martin: Wait, wings?
Amenadiel: Linda, you don't have to do this alone. I want to be here for this baby and, most importantly, I want to be here for you. Erm... Yeah.
Linda Martin: Oh.
Amenadiel: Will you marry me!?
Linda Martin: No. No. No. Amenadiel... Amenadiel, come here. See... Amenadiel... What you're doing is amazing and heroic and I should be so lucky... to end up with someone half as special as you are. But what you're doing here, it's... It's for the wrong reasons. And it's... It's not what I... It's not what I need right now.
Amenadiel: And what do you need?
Linda Martin: I think I just need someone to hold my hand and tell me everything's going to be okay.
Amenadiel: I promise you, Linda... everything is going to be okay.
Mazikeen: Is it true that human spawn erupt from their mothers' bodies in a ceremony of blood and pain?
Linda Martin: What? No.
Mazikeen: In hell... torture via birth was a favorite. If half of what we did is accurate... your sex holes are never going back to normal.
Linda Martin: Okay, Maze, erm... That's enough, thank you.