(Mickey is looking for Ian in a club...)

Manager: You think you're the first one to come in here boo-hooing about some cocktail sl*t who jacked you off in the bathroom, told you it was true love, and then disappeared? Trust me. You're not. So why don't you buy yourself a drink and fall in love with somebody else?

Mickey Milkovich: You calling me gay?

Manager: Oh. Please, honey. You make Justin Bieber look straight.

Mickey Milkovich: Aah! Oh! Ah!