Enjoy the best quotes / moments from The Big Bang Theory’s episode ‘The Relaxation Integration’.
‘The Relaxation Integration’ is the 3rd episode of season 11. (s11e03)
Top 12 ‘The Big Bang Theory’ Quotes from 11×03
Sorted chronologically as quotes appear in the episode.
- Sheldon Cooper: It’s not just a date… it’s a textbook optimization problem. There is a perfect date… just like there’s a perfect room temperature and a perfect dessert.
Penny Hofstadter: Mm. There’s no perfect dessert.
Sheldon Cooper: Yellow cake in the shape of a dinosaur with chocolate frosting, a scoop of vanilla ice cream on the side, not touching. You’ll see. You’ll have it at our wedding.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: We just need a weekend date that’s completely boring and uneventful.
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Too bad you didn’t get your ducks in a row, ’cause tonight would have been perfect.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz (about new coworker): She’s new in town, and I want to make her feel welcome. And let her know the office is full of liars before everyone tells her I’m mean.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: I just met this woman. Why don’t I wait a little and get to know her? Maybe I won’t like her, and then I’d be happy to ruin her life with Stuart or Raj.
Howard Wolowitz: That’s all I ask.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Sheldon’s a complicated man.
Amy Farrah Fowler: He said “whatev.”
Leonard Hofstadter: Give him a brain scan… that might be a tumor.
- Sheldon Cooper: I found the perfect wedding date.
Amy Farrah Fowler: That’s terrific!
Sheldon Cooper: No, it’s not. It was May 19, 1996. We would have had a lovely wedding.
And our honeymoon would have coincided with the first appearance of the Hale-Bopp comet.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Sheldon, you were 16.
Sheldon Cooper: And in Texas… no one would have batted an eye. Oh, wait, it’s no good. That’s the day that Jon Pertwee, the third Doctor Who, died.
Amy Farrah Fowler: And it’s in the past!
- Sheldon Cooper: I see why you turned it off. That guy sounds like an idiot.
Penny Hofstadter: Honey, that’s you.
Sheldon Cooper: Don’t be silly. My voice is deep and sonorous. Like a Caucasian James Earl Jones. “Luke, I am your father.” See?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: It’s plausible that when we’re asleep, aspects of our personality that we repress might come out.
Sheldon Cooper: Don’t try to put science lipstick on your New Age pig! And for the record, you make noises when you sleep, and I’ve never accused you of repressing your inner chainsaw.
- Sheldon Cooper: You’re proposing that the self is an illusion, and that we actually have multiple centers of consciousness that are communicating with one another?
Penny Hofstadter: In laymen’s terms, yeah.
Sheldon Cooper: Huh. Interesting. So you don’t believe there’s a Cartesian self that underlies the flux of experience?
Penny Hofstadter: Maybe in my twenties, not anymore.
- Sheldon Cooper (to Amy): I want you to be in charge of our wedding. Just you tell me where and when, and I will show up with a boutonniere and close-toed shoes and a… a Star Trek uniform underneath my tuxedo. That last part is non-negotiable.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: You know, ever since I was a young girl, I-I’ve dreamed of a June wedding, maybe on a cliff overlooking the ocean at sunset.
Sheldon Cooper: Sure. Sounds wonderful. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go clean up. (mumbling to himself): Outdoor wedding. I know what I’ll be using that cliff for.
Sheldon Cooper: Do we grant Laid-Back Sheldon a seat on the council?
Laid-Back Sheldon: Hey, whatever you guys want. I’m just chillin’ like Bob Dylan.
Science Sheldon: Negative.
Texas Sheldon: Heck, no!
Germaphobe Sheldon: I don’t feel well.
Fanboy Sheldon (about Humorous Sheldon): Can we kick him out, too?
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