Shane: Hey, uh, I have an idea. How about you tell me everything that’s on your mind, but in Russian? I won’t understand, but maybe it’ll help.

Ilya: OK. (in Russian): I never want to come back here again. I f-king hate it here. And they all f-king hate me. I pay for everything. I make sure everyone has clothes they like. I make sure the food is perfect, that Father is buried next to his parents, that the tomb is perfect. And the only f-king word I ever hear is: “I want more, Ilya. I need more, Ilya, more, more, more!” And I have nothing for these people! I give them everything… but I feel f-king empty. They don’t care. They look at me and they see a bank. Or an enemy. Or I don’t even know what. My brother, he always hated me. And I know why, but… it kills me. And it kills me that he took care of my father and I didn’t. But I couldn’t! I wasn’t here. I still paid for it all. And he will never forgive me. For any of it. For existing. And it means. I have no one now. Well, not no one. I have… Svetlana. She loves me. And I love her. But not like… F-k me. But not like I love you. That’s the worst f-king part of all this is… that all I want is you. It’s always you. I’m so in love with you, and I don’t know what to do about it. (in English): OK, I’m done.

Shane: Do you feel better?

Ilya: Yes. Thank you.

Where does this quote come from? (Source)

This quote is taken from the TV series ‘Heated Rivalry’ Season 1 Episode 5 (1×05), titled ‘I’ll Believe in Anything’. Based on the Game Changers novels by Rachel Reid, the show is produced and distributed by Crave (HBO).

• TV Series: Heated Rivalry (2025)
• Season: 1
• Episode: 5
• Episode Name: I’ll Believe in Anything
• Production: Crave (HBO)

Why we collected this quote

We included this iconic moment because it’s the first time Ilya is truly honest about his feelings. It’s an intense and emotional proclamation.

What does this quote mean? (Meaning & Context)

While in Russia for his father’s funeral, Ilya rants in Russian about his frustrations. He confesses his deep love for Shane, but sadly, Shane doesn’t understand the words, making it a bittersweet moment for fans.

Book vs TV Series

In the book, Ilya’s emotional speech in Russian is just summarized. Only when Ilya is stressing about what he said later, it is revealed to the readers, he said: “and on top of everything, I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you and I don’t know what to do about it.” The show then actually gives us the specific words, a full monologue in Russian, finally letting us, the fans, hear exactly what was in his heart.