Chan Kaifang: This launched two months ago. On board: assault rifles, ten. Assault rifles?

Adrian Mallory: This was not a scientifically useful mission, guys. I kept it from you.

Mark Naird: It was a very successful mission, ordered by POTUS himself, which proved that assault rifles will work in the vacuum of space.

Adrian Mallory: Which was never in doubt. But now the Manchester Arms Company can advertise the R-9 as the official Space Force gun for committing mass shootings on the moon.