Damon Salvatore: What’s so special about this Bella girl? Edward’s so whipped.

Caroline Forbes: You gotta read the first book first. It won’t make sense if you don’t.

Damon Salvatore: I miss Anne Rice. She was so on it.

Caroline Forbes: How come you don’t sparkle?

Damon Salvatore: I live in the real world where vampires burn in the sun.

Caroline Forbes: Yeah, but you go in the sun.

Damon Salvatore: I have a ring. Protects me. Long story.

Caroline Forbes: Will these bites turn me into a vampire?

Damon Salvatore: It’s more complicated than that. You have to feed on my blood, then die, then feed on a human. It’s a whole ordeal. This book, by the way, has it all wrong.

From The Vampire Diaries – Season 1 Episode 4: ‘Family Ties’ (1×04) | Produced by The CW