Caroline Forbes: Am I shallow?
Matt Donovan: Is that a trick question?
Caroline Forbes: I don't mean to be. Yeah, I wanna be deep. I wanna be, like, The Abyss deep.
Matt Donovan: No offense, Car, but deep's really not your scene.
Caroline Forbes: Well, it's true. I'm shallow. I am worse than shallow. I'm a kiddie pool.
Matt Donovan: You're not a kiddie pool. You're not a kiddie pool.
Caroline Forbes: Damon's not dangerous. You know, he just has a lot of issues with his brother. You know, like major, deep-rooted drama.
Bonnie Bennett: Like?
Caroline Forbes: I'm not really supposed to say anything.
Bonnie Bennett: Caroline Forbes, when have you ever kept a secret in your life?
Caroline Forbes: Okay. But you can't tell Elena.
Caroline Forbes: You and Stefan talked all night. There was no sloppy first kiss, or touchy-feely of any kind?
Elena Gilbert: Nope, we didn't go there.
Caroline Forbes: Not even a handshake? I mean, Elena, we are your friends. Okay? You are supposed to share the smut.
Elena Gilbert: We just talked for hours.
Caroline Forbes: What is with the blockage? Just jump his bones already. Okay, it's easy. Boy likes girl, girl likes boy, sex.
Elena Gilbert: Profound.
Caroline Forbes: How come the guys that I want never want me?
Bonnie Bennett: I'm not touching that.
Caroline Forbes: I'm inappropriate. I always say the wrong thing. And Elena always says the right thing. Ugh. She doesn't even try. And he just picks her. And she's always the one that everyone picks... for everything. And I try so hard and I'm never the one that...
Bonnie Bennett: It's not a competition, Caroline.
Caroline Forbes: Yeah, it is.