Caroline Forbes: You and Stefan talked all night. There was no sloppy first kiss, or touchy-feely of any kind?

Elena Gilbert: Nope, we didn't go there.

Caroline Forbes: Not even a handshake? I mean, Elena, we are your friends. Okay? You are supposed to share the smut.

Elena Gilbert: We just talked for hours.

Caroline Forbes: What is with the blockage? Just jump his bones already. Okay, it's easy. Boy likes girl, girl likes boy, sex.

Elena Gilbert: Profound.