The Witcher Quotes

Jaskier: Hey. You don’t have to do that. You don’t have to prove what you’re going to be in the future. My two orens? I think you’re pretty all right right now.

Ciri: Well, that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.

Jaskier: Ah, it’s all part of my hustle. Just wait until this next hand. I’m going to mop the floor with your royal arse, milady.

(Geralt is having a conversation with Yennefer. Ciri and Jaskier are watching them, imagining what they’re could be saying…)

Jaskier (as Yen): “Oh! What the hell were you thinking, fighting monsters?”

Ciri: That’s not what she’s saying.

Jaskier: Now, that is the role of poetry, Ciri. To say what others cannot utter. (as Geralt): “Oh, you fed her to the magical lion’s den. I trusted you.”

Ciri: You’re just making this all up.

Jaskier: Meh. That’s also the role of poetry. (as Yen): “At least she was in disguise there. Not clanging stupid swords when I told her not to draw attention to herself.”

Ciri (as Geralt): “Funny, I wonder how she learned such complete and utter disregard for authority.”

Jaskier: That was a good one. (as Yen): “You’re unbelievable!”

Ciri (as Geralt): “You’re delusional!”

Jaskier (as Yen): “I forgive you for your various foolish words and deeds. Your lack of faith and hope. For your obstinacy. Doggedness. For your sulking and posing, which are unworthy of a man.”

Ciri (as Geralt): “I forgive you for being a wily witch who rarely listens and even more rarely admits to being wrong. Who is stubborn, and stuck-up, and self-righteous. Let’s never do that again.”

(Geralt and Yennefer start kissing…)

Jaskier (as Yen): “Mmm. Oh. Oh! Oh yes, take me.” (as Geralt): “Do that thing with the tongue that I like.” (as Yen): “Oh, you mean this? Bleugh, bleugh!” (as Geralt): “Oh yeah, that’s the stuff. Is there a unicorn nearby, by any chance? Oh!”
(to Ciri): Come on, you deviant.