The Witcher Quotes

Latest quotes added:

Vespula: You like him!

Jaskier: Who, Geralt? Yeah, I guess. Platonically, and occasionally with great effort, as one would a family goat. Hang on, when did you get dressed?

Vespula: I mean the spoon guy.

Jaskier: What, Radovid? No!

Vespula: Yes.

Jaskier: No!

Vespula: I've cursed you for chasing tail of every kind. Men, women, dwarves, elves, polymorphous...

Jaskier: That was one time and I... regret nothing. It was amazing.

Vespula: Hmm. But never have I ever seen you have a crush.

Jaskier: A crush? Oh, you think I have crushes. Crushes are for children, my darling. I have mind-bending... world-ending, heart-wrenching affairs.

Vespula: Whatever you say. The Lothario of Lyria. The Romancer of Redania! The Stud of Cidaris!

(Knock on the door...)

Geralt: Jaskier.

Jaskier (to Vespula): For f**k's... Sorry. It's the family goat.

Jaskier: Geralt is... a hammer. You know? You're confused. All right... Wait... Okay. Ah... When you're a hammer, every problem is a nail. You see a nail and you're like, "Grrr. F**k this nail. F**k this nail, in particular." And you hammer the nail. But sometimes the problem is something else. Sometimes the problem is, uh... a bunch of petunias, or a bowl of... porridge, and you can't hammer a bowl of porridge. I mean, you can try, but then your hammer gets all gunked up, porridge goes everywhere, and then you have... no porridge. The solution requires a different kind of tool. And Radovid... is that tool. Radovid is... a spoon.

Vespula: Oh, obviously.

Jaskier: Obviously. Yeah. Aah... Yeah, I'm aware this doesn't make a lot of sense. What I'm trying to say is, the problem is different. The solution needs to be different. And Radovid... is different. He's intelligent. He tries to hide it, but he's insightful. Sharp... like a knife. If he's a knife, I need to keep him away from Geralt.

Radovid: I always wondered what it was that made your songs so irresistible. Now I understand.

Jaskier: Oh, yeah? And what's that?

Radovid: You see people for what they are, not what they pretend to be.

Yennefer: You saved one, and the consequence has likely damned a hundred others in exchange.

Ciri: What is the point in me seeing the future if I can't do anything to change it? Well, why would you understand? You see what you want, you make it happen. You snap your fingers, mountains move. Men bend to your will. How would you know what it's like to fight for control of your life?

Jaskier: Whoa! Is that a giant metal spike hidden in your secret door of mystery or are you just pleased to...

Geralt: Not your best.

Jaskier: Yeah, can't all be gold.

Jaskier: I'll never get over how cute they look, you know? For monsters. I mean, they've got these little teddy bear faces, and they're like... "No, please, don't hurt me!" And then, wham, fangs. Just, like, a boatload of fangs. All up in your business. How many people did you say this thing ate?

Geralt: Seven.

Jaskier: Yikes.

(Geralt's letter for Yennefer)

Geralt: Now, for the first time, I understand real fear. Never seeing you and Ciri again. Much is uncertain on this Continent. The dangers we've seen foretell an even more menacing future. But, Yen, please know I will learn to trust you again. You, Ciri, and I, we belong together.

Yennefer: I've got her. Whatever you think of me, that's my promise to you.

Geralt: I know you do. Yen, I...

Yennefer: Just say this isn't goodbye for good. That there are more good nights to come. That you will... in whatever form... think of me.

Geralt: That's my promise to you.

Ciri (to Jaskier): You're the bravest bait that ever lived.

Jaskier: Whew! Promise me we will never do that again.

Geralt: Thank you, Jaskier.

(Jaskier gets shot by an arrow in his shoulder...)

Jaskier: Oh, if I die, promise me Valdo Marx will not play at my funeral.

Geralt: You'll be fine. Your lute, on the other hand, has seen better days.

(shows him his lute also got hit by an arrow)

Geralt: I don't doubt you, Ciri. I do doubt the world, though.

Ciri: Geralt, you taught me how to fight. Just like Calanthe. And Yen, you're teaching me how to harness my powers. Like Mousesack. What if this is the reason destiny brought us together? Nenneke said I have the power to change the cycle of hatred. And I want to. To be the balance between kings and mages, and to align the Continent, instead of constantly pitting parts against each other. Because I am sick and tired of destruction and loss.

Geralt (to Ciri): Neutrality. It won't get you a statue. But it'll certainly help in keeping you alive.

Geralt: We're not gonna let anything happen to you, Jaskier.

Yennefer: I saved your arse once. I can do it again, Pankratz.

Jaskier: You didn't save me... She didn't save me. She... She didn't! But seriously though, you are gonna save me, right?

Jaskier: Bait! I rode for days to get here, battling hunger, battling the elements, only to discover upon my arrival that I'm being used as bait.

Ciri: Jaskier, me. I am the bait. Rience is after me.

Jaskier: Yes, which means he wants you alive, and me very much not alive. You see my anxiety?

© 2024 Scattered Quotes

Up ↑