Shameless Quotes

(Mickey is looking for Ian in a club...)

Manager: You think you're the first one to come in here boo-hooing about some cocktail sl*t who jacked you off in the bathroom, told you it was true love, and then disappeared? Trust me. You're not. So why don't you buy yourself a drink and fall in love with somebody else?

Mickey Milkovich: You calling me gay?

Manager: Oh. Please, honey. You make Justin Bieber look straight.

Mickey Milkovich: Aah! Oh! Ah!

Mickey Milkovich (to Svetlana): We learned a valuable lesson, anyone can jerk a c*ck. I jerk mine, he jerks his. Learn a unique skill or shut the f**k up. (Svetlana starts speaking russian angrily) No one knows what the f**k you're saying.

(Another one of Mickey's wh*res is complaining in russian...)

Mickey Milkovich: I don't know what the f**k you're saying! Oh, my God! I don't know what that means. (to everyone): Look, don't worry! We'll get a dick in you as soon as we can.

(All Mickey's wh*res are complaining in russian...)

Svetlana Yevgenivna: They say you are stupid, f**king idiot!

Mickey Milkovich: Well, what did you say back?

Svetlana Yevgenivna: That you also have small dick.

(In the bar, out of nowhere, Mickey speaks up...)

Mickey Milkovich: I like f**king carrot-tops, like, with the freckles and the pale skin and f**king alien-looking.