Wednesday Addams: How many fathers hand their daughter a fencing blade when she's five?
Gomez Addams: Your saber strokes were an essay in perfection.
Wednesday Addams: Or teach her how to swim with sharks?
Gomez Addams: They found you as cold-blooded as I do.
Wednesday Addams: The right way to flay a rattlesnake?
Gomez Addams: They really do taste like chicken when prepared properly.
Wednesday Addams: The point is, you taught me how to be strong and independent. How to navigate myself in a world full of treachery and prejudice. You are the reason I understand how imperative it is that I never lose sight of myself. So as far as fatherhood goes, I would say you've been more than adequate.
Gomez Addams: Gracias, Wednesday.
(Weems suggests to the Addams going to therapy with Wednesday might help...)
Gomez Addams: What can it hurt? To be honest, I've always been a big fan of head-shrinking.
Morticia Addams: It's not that kind of head-shrinking, mon chéri.
Gomez Addams: Well, that is disappointing. But anything for our little girl.