Good Omens Quotes

Crowley: Angel! This is the Supreme Archangel of all Heaven, your former boss who tried very hard to cast you into hellfire and destroy you. He’s not our friend.

Aziraphale: I don’t think he really has any friends.

Crowley: Exactly.

Aziraphale: Yes, exactly.

Crowley: What does your exactly mean, exactly? I feel like your exactly and my exactly are different exactlies.

Aziraphale: He doesn’t have any friends so he needs us.

Crowley: What I need is for him is to be nowhere near me and the precious peaceful fragile existence that I have carved out for myself here.

Aziraphale: I thought we carved it out for ourselves.

Crowley: So did I!

Aziraphale: I think I may have just started a war.

Crowley: Oh! Hell will love that.

Crowley: Let me tempt you to a spot of lunch?

Aziraphale: Temptation accomplished. Hmm… What about the Ritz? I believe a table for two has just miraculously come free.

Crowley: You can stay at my place, if you like.

Aziraphale: I don’t think my side would like that.

Crowley: You don’t have a side anymore. Neither of us do. We’re on our own side.

Aziraphale: It’s all worked out for the best, though. Just imagine how awful it might have been if we’d been at all competent.

Crowley: Point taken.

Aziraphale: We are here to lick some serious butt.

Crowley: “Kick”, Aziraphale. It’s “kick butt”. For Heaven’s sake. Oh! I can’t believe I just said that.