Crowley: Let me tempt you to a spot of lunch?
Aziraphale: Temptation accomplished. Hmm... What about the Ritz? I believe a table for two has just miraculously come free.
Crowley: You can stay at my place, if you like.
Aziraphale: I don't think my side would like that.
Crowley: You don't have a side anymore. Neither of us do. We're on our own side.
Aziraphale: It's all worked out for the best, though. Just imagine how awful it might have been if we'd been at all competent.
Crowley: Point taken.
Aziraphale: We are here to lick some serious butt.
Crowley: "Kick", Aziraphale. It's "kick butt". For Heaven's sake. Oh! I can't believe I just said that.
Aziraphale: You can't leave, Crowley. There isn't anywhere to go.
Crowley: It's a big universe. Even if this all ends up in a puddle of burning goo, we can go off together.
Aziraphale: Go off together? Listen to yourself.
Crowley: How long have we been friends? Six thousand years!
Aziraphale: Friends? We're not friends. We are an angel and a demon. We have nothing whatsoever in common. I don't even like you.
Crowley: You do.
Nazi spy: Mr Anthony J. Crowley. Your fame precedes you.
Crowley: You don't like it?
Aziraphale: No, no, I didn't say that. I'll get used to it. What does the "J" stand for?
Crowley: It's just a "J", really.
Crowley: If it all goes wrong, I want insurance.
Crowley: I wrote it down. Walls have ears. Well, not walls. Trees have ears. Ducks have ears. Do ducks have ears? Must do. That's how they hear other ducks.
Crowley (to Aziraphale): Age does not wither, nor custom stale his infinite variety.
Shakespeare: Mmm! Yeah, I like that.
Aziraphale: We may have both started off as angels, but you are fallen.
Crowley: I didn't really fall. I just, you know... sauntered vaguely downwards.
Aziraphale: I'm not consulted on policy decisions, Crawly.
Crowley: Oh, I've changed it.
Aziraphale: Changed what?
Crowley: My name. "Crawl-y" just wasn't really doing it for me. It's a bit too... squirming-at-your-feet-ish.
Aziraphale: Well, you were a snake. So, what is it now? Mephistopheles? Asmodeus?