Wednesday Quotes

Valerie Kinbott: Tell me how you’re adjusting to school.

Wednesday Addams: Sartre said, “Hell is other people.” He was my first crush.

Valerie Kinbott: I’m here to help you process your emotions.

Wednesday Addams: Emotions are a gateway trait. They lead to feelings, which trigger tears. I don’t do tears.

Valerie Kinbott: Help me understand why you claim you witnessed a murder. Was it to gain attention?

Wednesday Addams: Why should I bother telling you anything? You’ve already decided I’m lying.

Wednesday Addams: Edgar Allan Poe said, “Believe nothing you hear and half of what you see.” Clearly Nevermore’s most famous alumni picked that up here. No wonder he became a drug-addled madman.

Donovan Galpin: Is that your professional opinion as the daughter of a murderer?

Wednesday Addams: My father’s twice the man you are, and the only thing he murders is the occasional opera in the shower.

Wednesday Addams: This story is about to take a dark turn. Usually, I love dark turns. Like when the carousel brakes mysteriously failed at my eighth birthday party.

Wednesday Addams: I narrowly avoided death twice, discovered that my father may be a murderer, learned that I could potentially destroy the school, and was mysteriously saved by a homicidal monster. As much as it pains me to admit, you were right, Mother. I think I’m going to love it here.

(Wednesday is telling a story of her pet scorpion being killed…)

Wednesday Addams: It was snowing when I buried what was left of him. I cried my little black heart out. But tears don’t fix anything. So I vowed to never do it again.

Boy: So tell me, freak… you ever been with a normie?

Wednesday Addams: I’ve never found one that could handle me.

Wednesday Addams: Why are you dressed like religious fanatics?

Boy: We’re pilgrims.

Wednesday Addams: Potato, po-tah-to.

Boy: We work at Pilgrim World.

Wednesday Addams: It takes a special kind of stupid to devote an entire theme park to zealots responsible for mass genocide.

Wednesday Addams: You know the old saying, never bring a knife to a sword fight. Unless it’s concealed.