Scattered Quotes

Sheldon Cooper Quotes

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Sheldon Cooper (narration): As you can see, my meemaw successfully lured me back into the world by reminding me of my brave Texas ancestors. Their blood ran through my veins. I was a true son of the Lone Star State. Albeit a true son with an incredibly fragile immune system. I woke up the next morning with a temperature of 102 and a head packed full of mucus. However, there was a silver lining.

Mary Cooper (singing):

Soft kitty, warm kitty

Little ball of fur

Happy kitty, sleepy kitty

Purr, purr, purr.
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Mary Cooper: Shelly, if you don't mind me asking, what's your long-term plan here?

Sheldon Cooper: I'm working on the math to turn the garage into a self-sustaining ecosystem.

Mary Cooper: Okay. And what exactly does that mean?

Sheldon Cooper: Well, all I need is sunlight and a few seeds to grow unlimited food which I'll fertilize with my own feces.

Meemaw: This just gets better.

Mary Cooper: If you're not gonna help, please go inside. This is not a show.

Meemaw: Now that's where I disagree.
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Quote from Young Sheldon 1x13 - Sheldon Cooper: Excuse me. Do I look like I'm getting sick to you? Principal's secretary: You look a little pale. Sheldon Cooper: Okay, good, that's normal.
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(Sheldon is leaving a classroom after the teacher sneezes two times)

Ms. MacElroy: Where do you think you're going?

Sheldon Cooper: Away from you.

Ms. MacElroy: Why's that?

Sheldon Cooper: I want to live.

Ms. MacElroy: I'm not sick. Get back in your seat.

Sheldon Cooper: No, thank you.

Ms. MacElroy: You know the rules. You can't leave without a hall pass.

Sheldon Cooper: May I have a hall pass?

Ms. MacElroy: No, you may not. Now get back in your seat.

Sheldon Cooper (narration): Rules are the pillars of society. I love rules. But what benefit are rules to a dead man?

(Sheldon runs away)
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Sheldon Cooper (narration): I've been called a germophobe, but I do find a single sneeze acceptable. It could be caused by dust, allergies... Really, whatever nasal irritant floats your boat. However... during flu season... a second sneeze means a plague is upon the land, and it's every man for himself.
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Mark Hammil: Amy, do you take Sheldon for your lawful wedded husband?

Amy Farrah Fowler: I do.

Mark Hammil: And, Sheldon, same thing.

Sheldon Cooper: I do.

Mark Hammil: Then by the power vested in me by EvenYouCanPerformWeddings.com... I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.
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Sheldon Cooper: Amy... I usually know exactly what to say. But in this moment... I have no words. I guess... I'm overwhelmed by you. In a good way. Not in the elevator in the Haunted Mansion way. Even if I can't tell you now how I feel, I will spend my life showing you how much I love you.
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Quote from The Big Bang Theory 11x24 - Amy Farrah Fowler: Clearly, it was wrong. Because I felt something that day, and those feelings have only gotten stronger with time. I can't imagine loving you more than I do right now. But I felt that way yesterday and the day before yesterday and the day before that. Sheldon Cooper: Is that growth linear or accelerating? Amy Farrah Fowler: Accelerating. Sheldon Cooper: Oh, maybe we could graph it out. Leonard Hofstadter: Save something for the honeymoon. Sheldon Cooper: Smart.
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Mark Hammil: We are gathered here today in the sight of family, friends and Almighty God.

Sheldon Cooper: That's too religious.

Mark Hammil: That lady over there made me say it.

Sheldon's Mother: He heard you, and he can't un-hear you.
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Sheldon Cooper: Leonard. That's Mark Ha-Ha-Ha... It's-it's Mark Hami-Ha-Ha...

Leonard Hofstadter: Yep. Thank Wolowitz. He set it up.

Mark Hammil: Congratulations on your wedding.

Sheldon Cooper: Thank you. When this is over, I have 4,000 things for you to sign.

Amy Farrah Fowler: I-I thought Wil was marrying us.

Sheldon Cooper: Wolowitz got us an upgrade.

Amy Farrah Fowler: Another sci-fi guy with a beard. Seems lateral, but okay.
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Sheldon Cooper: Are you having an allergic reaction to my boutonniere?

Leonard Hofstadter: No. I'm just so happy for you. And for me. After today, you are officially... and, more important, legally... Amy's problem.

Sheldon Cooper: Don't be silly, Leonard. I will always be your problem.
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Sheldon Cooper: I'm so glad you made it, Missy. This is my fiancée, Amy. Amy, this is my sister. If I ever need a kidney, this is where you get it.
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Amy Farrah Fowler: So are you feeling okay? No wedding jitters?

Sheldon Cooper: No. There is nothing in the world that would stop me from marrying you tomorrow, even me from the future coming back to prevent the wedding and the subsequent birth of a child who will destroy humanity.

Amy Farrah Fowler: Because if you came from the future, that would mean you already went through with the wedding because you believe that time travel is on a closed loop.

Sheldon Cooper: I love you so damn much.
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Amy Farrah Fowler: I think it's more like, uh, like Lord of the Rings, and you're the Fellowship. Uh, someone's got to go to Gondor, someone's got to go to Mordor, someone's got to hold off the demon of shadow and flame.

Leonard Hofstadter: You mean the Balrog?

Amy Farrah Fowler: I mean my mother.

Sheldon Cooper: That is a perfect metaphor, Amy.

Amy Farrah Fowler: Thank you.

Sheldon Cooper: Because it also involves a ring that binds me in servitude forever.

Amy Farrah Fowler: Aw, he said forever.
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Leonard Hofstadter: Sheldon, you need to apologize to your brother.

Sheldon Cooper: I'm sorry?

Leonard Hofstadter: Yes. Like that, but nicer, and that way.

Sheldon Cooper: I have nothing to apologize for.

George Cooper: I told you this was a bad idea. Sometimes you can't patch a tire. You just got to buy a new one. Actually, that's always the case. Never patch, buy new.
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