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Ross Geller Quotes

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Chandler Bing (on the phone with his boss): Hey, Mr. Costilick. How's life on the 15th floor? Yeah, I miss you too. It's a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home. That's very generous. But this isn't about the money. I need something more than a job. I need something I really care ab... That's on top of the year-end bonus?

Ross and Joey: Dream! Your dream!

Chandler Bing: Look, Al, I'm not playing hardball here, okay? This is not a negotiation. This is a rejection! Stop saying numbers! I'm telling you, you've got the wrong guy! You've got the wrong guy! I'll see you Monday!
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Carol Willick: You'll find someone. The right woman is just waiting for you.

Ross Geller: It's easy for you to say. You found one already.

Carol Willick: All you need is a woman who likes men, and you'll be set. (Ross looks at beautiful woman walking by...) Not her.
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Ross Geller: We're all adults here. There's only one way to resolve this. Since you saw her boobies you have to show her your pee-pee.

Chandler Bing: You know, I don't see that happening.

Rachel Green: Come on. He's right. Tit for tat.

Chandler Bing: Well, I'm not showing you my tat!
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Ross Geller (to Paolo): I just wanna tell you, and I think I'd speak for everyone when I say... (closes the door)
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Ross Geller: It's the most beautiful table I've ever seen.

Chandler Bing: I know.

Monica Geller: So how does this work? You're gonna balance plates on these little guys' heads?

Joey Tribbiani: Who cares? We'll eat at the sink.
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Joey Tribbiani: Hey, Chandler. That table place closes at 7. Come on.

Chandler Bing: Fine.

(They start to walk towards the door...)

Monica Geller: Phoebe? What is it?

Phoebe Buffay: All right. You know Paolo?

Ross Geller: I'm familiar with his work. Yes.

Phoebe Buffay: He made a move on me.

Joey Tribbiani: The store will be open tomorrow. (they come and sit down again)
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Carol Willick: Don't you wanna know about the sex?

Ross Geller: The sex? I'm having enough trouble with the image of you and Susan together. But when you throw in Tanya....

Carol Willick: The sex of the baby, Ross.
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Joey Tribbiani: Ross, did you really read all these baby books?

Ross Geller: Yep. You could plunk me down in any woman's uterus, no compass... and I could find my way out of there like that!
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Quote from Friends 1x10 | Ross Geller: Now everybody's getting kissed but me. Chandler Bing: Somebody kiss me. Somebody kiss me! It's midnight! Somebody kiss me! Somebody kiss me! It's midnight! Joey Tribbiani: All right! All right! There!
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Ross Geller: That's Marcel. Wanna say hi?

Monica Geller: No no, I don't.

Rachel Green: Oh, he's precious! Where'd you get him?

Ross Geller: My friend Bethel rescued him from some lab.

Phoebe Buffay: That is so cruel. Why!? Why would a parent name their child Bethel?
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Ross Geller: Wow, you guys sure have a lot of books about being a lesbian.

Susan Bunch: Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise they don't let you do it.
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(The gang is looking at Geller family old photos...)

Joey Tribbiani: Look, look, look! I got Monica naked!

Ross Geller: No, no, that would be me again. I'm just trying something.
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Joey Tribbiani: It's never gonna happen...

Ross Geller: What?

Joey Tribbiani: You and Rachel.

Ross Geller: What? Me and Ra? Why not?

Joey Tribbiani: Because you waited too long to make your move... and now you're in the friendzone.

Ross Geller: No no no. I'm not in the zone.

Joey Tribbiani: No, Ross. You're mayor of the zone.

Ross Geller: Look, I'm taking my time, all right? I'm laying the groundwork. Every day I get a just little bit closer to a...

Joey Tribbiani: Priesthood!
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Ross Geller: And officiating at tonight's blackout is Rabbi Tribbiani.

Joey Tribbiani: Chandler's old roommate was Jewish. These are our only candles we have. So happy Hanukkah everyone!
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Ross Geller: Come on. Seriously, Joey, what's the part?

(Joey mumbles something)

Rachel Green: You're.... What?

Joey Tribbiani: I'm his butt double, okay? I play Al Pacino's butt. All right? He goes into the shower, and then... I'm his butt.

Monica Geller: Oh, my God!

Joey Tribbiani: Come on, you guys. It's a real movie and Al Pacino's in it, that's big!

Chandler Bing: It's terrific. You deserve this. After years of struggling you've cracked your way into show business.
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