Rachel Green: Is he just the sweetest thing? You must just wanna kiss him all over.
Ross Geller: That would be nice.
Chandler Bing: Pff.
Rachel Green: Pardon?
Chandler Bing: Nothing. Just a little extra air in my mouth. Pff.
Ross Geller: Ben... I want you to know that there may be some times when... I may not be around like this. But I'll still always come back... Iike this. And sometimes, I may be away longer... Iike this. But I'll still always come back... like this.
Ross Geller: When we talked, she said she'd already passed the mucous plug.
Joey Tribbiani: Do we have to know about that?
Monica Geller: What'll you do when you have a baby?
Joey Tribbiani: I'm gonna be in the waiting room, handing out cigars.
Chandler Bing: Joey's made arrangements to have his baby in a movie from the '50s.
(Rachel shares that she had a dream about her and Chandler having sex)
Ross Geller: I can't believe you two had sex in her dream.
Chandler Bing: Sorry, it was a one-time thing. I was very drunk, and it was someone else's subconscious.
(Ross is looking for a Zoo that could take Marcel...)
Ross Geller: We didn't get into Scranton. That was, like, our safety zoo. They take, like, dogs and cows.
Ross Geller: Stop humping. Now, Marcel, come... Come here, Marcel.
Rachel Green: Oh, no. Not in my room. I'll get him.
Monica Geller: You've got to do something about the humping.
Ross Geller: What? It's just a phase.
Chandler Bing: Well, that's what we said about Joey.
(Ross is doing a crossword...)
Ross Geller: "Heating device."
Phoebe Buffay: Radiator.
Ross Geller: Five letters.
Phoebe Buffay: "Rdtor."
Monica Geller: There's some creep out there with a telescope.
Ross Geller: I can't believe it. He's looking right at us.
Rachel Green: Oh, that is so sick.
Chandler Bing: I feel violated. And not in a good way.
Phoebe Buffay: How can people do that? You guys, look. Ugly Naked Guy got gravity boots.
Ross Geller: Rach, did you proofread these?
Rachel Green: Yeah. Why?
Ross Geller: Nothing. I'm sure they'll be impressed with your excellent "compuper" skills.
Rachel Green: Oh, my God! Do you think it's on all of them?
Chandler Bing (on the phone with his boss): Hey, Mr. Costilick. How's life on the 15th floor? Yeah, I miss you too. It's a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home. That's very generous. But this isn't about the money. I need something more than a job. I need something I really care ab... That's on top of the year-end bonus?
Ross and Joey: Dream! Your dream!
Chandler Bing: Look, Al, I'm not playing hardball here, okay? This is not a negotiation. This is a rejection! Stop saying numbers! I'm telling you, you've got the wrong guy! You've got the wrong guy! I'll see you Monday!
Carol Willick: You'll find someone. The right woman is just waiting for you.
Ross Geller: It's easy for you to say. You found one already.
Carol Willick: All you need is a woman who likes men, and you'll be set. (Ross looks at beautiful woman walking by...) Not her.
Ross Geller: We're all adults here. There's only one way to resolve this. Since you saw her boobies you have to show her your pee-pee.
Chandler Bing: You know, I don't see that happening.
Rachel Green: Come on. He's right. Tit for tat.
Chandler Bing: Well, I'm not showing you my tat!