Ross Geller Quotes

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Ross Geller: How about the time I cut the legs off your Malibu Ken?

Monica Geller: That was you?

Ross Geller: They were infected. He wouldn't have made it.

Ross Geller: Remember when I stuck that broom in your bike spokes and you flipped over and hit your head on the curb?

Monica Geller: No... But I remember people telling me about it.

Ross Geller (to Monica): I'm not getting a shot. Maybe they can take the needle... and squirt it into my mouth. Like a squirt gun.

Monica Geller: Is your tongue swelling up?

Ross Geller: Either that or my mouth is getting smaller!

Ross Geller: So how’d it go? (talking about Monica breaking up with Alan)

Monica Geller: You know.

Phoebe Buffay: Did he mention us?

Monica Geller: He says he’s really gonna miss you guys.

Phoebe Buffay: You know, those stupid soda people gave me $7000 for the thumb.

Ross Geller: Oh, my God.

Chandler Bing: Are you kidding me?

Rachel Green: Seven thousand dollars?

Phoebe Buffay: And on my way over here, I stepped in gum. What is up with the universe?

Ross Geller: A thumb? (in her soda can)

All five: Ew.

Phoebe Buffay: I know, I know. I opened it up and there it was… just floating in there, like this tiny little hitchhiker.

Chandler Bing: Maybe it’s a contest, you know’? Like “Collect all five.”

Joey Tribbiani: She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV- what did you get?

Ross Geller: You guys.

Chandler Bing: Oh, God.

Joey Tribbiani: You got screwed.

Ross Geller:  I’m supposed to attach a brackety thing to the side things, using a bunch of these little worm guys. I have no brackety thing, I see no whim guys whatsoever and- I cannot feel my legs.

Ross Geller: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.

Monica Geller: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M., “I’ll never have grandchildren, I’ll never have grandchildren.” was what? A wrong number?

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