Ross Geller Quotes

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Ross Geller: Will you guys grow up? This is the most natural, beautiful thing in the world.

Joey Tribbiani: Yeah, we know. But there's a baby sucking on it.

Joey Tribbiani: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over. Then they go up the other side, move it back, then they do the rear. What? Ross, tell him. Isn't that how a tailor measures pants?

Ross Geller: Yes, yes, it is. In prison! What's the matter with you?

Joey Tribbiani: What? That's not? Oh, my God.

(After Phoebe gives Monica the wrong haircut...)

Ross Geller: How's the hair?

Phoebe Buffay: I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross. It doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.

Joey Tribbiani: Can we see her?

Phoebe Buffay: Your hair looks too good. It would upset her. Ross, why don't you come on in.

Rachel Green: Is he just the sweetest thing? You must just wanna kiss him all over.

Ross Geller: That would be nice.

Chandler Bing: Pff.

Rachel Green: Pardon?

Chandler Bing: Nothing. Just a little extra air in my mouth. Pff.

Ross Geller: Ben... I want you to know that there may be some times when... I may not be around like this. But I'll still always come back... Iike this. And sometimes, I may be away longer... Iike this. But I'll still always come back... like this.

Ross Geller: When we talked, she said she'd already passed the mucous plug.

Joey Tribbiani: Do we have to know about that?

Monica Geller: What'll you do when you have a baby?

Joey Tribbiani: I'm gonna be in the waiting room, handing out cigars.

Chandler Bing: Joey's made arrangements to have his baby in a movie from the '50s.

(Rachel shares that she had a dream about her and Chandler having sex)

Ross Geller: I can't believe you two had sex in her dream.

Chandler Bing: Sorry, it was a one-time thing. I was very drunk, and it was someone else's subconscious.

(Ross is looking for a Zoo that could take Marcel...)

Ross Geller: We didn't get into Scranton. That was, like, our safety zoo. They take, like, dogs and cows.

Ross Geller: Stop humping. Now, Marcel, come... Come here, Marcel.

Rachel Green: Oh, no. Not in my room. I'll get him.

Monica Geller: You've got to do something about the humping.

Ross Geller: What? It's just a phase.

Chandler Bing: Well, that's what we said about Joey.

(Ross is doing a crossword...)

Ross Geller: "Heating device."

Phoebe Buffay: Radiator.

Ross Geller: Five letters.

Phoebe Buffay: "Rdtor."

Monica Geller: There's some creep out there with a telescope.

Ross Geller: I can't believe it. He's looking right at us.

Rachel Green: Oh, that is so sick.

Chandler Bing: I feel violated. And not in a good way.

Phoebe Buffay: How can people do that? You guys, look. Ugly Naked Guy got gravity boots.

Ross Geller: All right! Your money's mine, Greene.

Rachel Green: Your fly's open, Geller.

Ross Geller: Rach, did you proofread these?

Rachel Green: Yeah. Why?

Ross Geller: Nothing. I'm sure they'll be impressed with your excellent "compuper" skills.

Rachel Green: Oh, my God! Do you think it's on all of them?

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