Joey Tribbiani: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over. Then they go up the other side, move it back, then they do the rear. What? Ross, tell him. Isn't that how a tailor measures pants?
Ross Geller: Yes, yes, it is. In prison! What's the matter with you?
Joey Tribbiani: What? That's not? Oh, my God.
(After Phoebe gives Monica the wrong haircut...)
Ross Geller: How's the hair?
Phoebe Buffay: I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross. It doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.
Joey Tribbiani: Can we see her?
Phoebe Buffay: Your hair looks too good. It would upset her. Ross, why don't you come on in.
Ross Geller: When we talked, she said she'd already passed the mucous plug.
Joey Tribbiani: Do we have to know about that?
Monica Geller: What'll you do when you have a baby?
Joey Tribbiani: I'm gonna be in the waiting room, handing out cigars.
Chandler Bing: Joey's made arrangements to have his baby in a movie from the '50s.