50+ Best 'Ross Geller' Quotes | Page 2 of 4 | Scattered Quotes

Ross Geller Quotes

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Ross Geller: It's the most beautiful table I've ever seen.

Chandler Bing: I know.

Monica Geller: So how does this work? You're gonna balance plates on these little guys' heads?

Joey Tribbiani: Who cares? We'll eat at the sink.


Joey Tribbiani: Hey, Chandler. That table place closes at 7. Come on.

Chandler Bing: Fine.

(They start to walk towards the door...)

Monica Geller: Phoebe? What is it?

Phoebe Buffay: All right. You know Paolo?

Ross Geller: I'm familiar with his work. Yes.

Phoebe Buffay: He made a move on me.

Joey Tribbiani: The store will be open tomorrow. (they come and sit down again)


Carol Willick: Don't you wanna know about the sex?

Ross Geller: The sex? I'm having enough trouble with the image of you and Susan together. But when you throw in Tanya....

Carol Willick: The sex of the baby, Ross.


Joey Tribbiani: Ross, did you really read all these baby books?

Ross Geller: Yep. You could plunk me down in any woman's uterus, no compass... and I could find my way out of there like that!


Ross Geller: That's Marcel. Wanna say hi?

Monica Geller: No no, I don't.

Rachel Green: Oh, he's precious! Where'd you get him?

Ross Geller: My friend Bethel rescued him from some lab.

Phoebe Buffay: That is so cruel. Why!? Why would a parent name their child Bethel?


Ross Geller: Wow, you guys sure have a lot of books about being a lesbian.

Susan Bunch: Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise they don't let you do it.


(The gang is looking at Geller family old photos...)

Joey Tribbiani: Look, look, look! I got Monica naked!

Ross Geller: No, no, that would be me again. I'm just trying something.


Joey Tribbiani: It's never gonna happen...

Ross Geller: What?

Joey Tribbiani: You and Rachel.

Ross Geller: What? Me and Ra? Why not?

Joey Tribbiani: Because you waited too long to make your move... and now you're in the friendzone.

Ross Geller: No no no. I'm not in the zone.

Joey Tribbiani: No, Ross. You're mayor of the zone.

Ross Geller: Look, I'm taking my time, all right? I'm laying the groundwork. Every day I get a just little bit closer to a...

Joey Tribbiani: Priesthood!


Ross Geller: And officiating at tonight's blackout is Rabbi Tribbiani.

Joey Tribbiani: Chandler's old roommate was Jewish. These are our only candles we have. So happy Hanukkah everyone!


Ross Geller: Come on. Seriously, Joey, what's the part?

(Joey mumbles something)

Rachel Green: You're.... What?

Joey Tribbiani: I'm his butt double, okay? I play Al Pacino's butt. All right? He goes into the shower, and then... I'm his butt.

Monica Geller: Oh, my God!

Joey Tribbiani: Come on, you guys. It's a real movie and Al Pacino's in it, that's big!

Chandler Bing: It's terrific. You deserve this. After years of struggling you've cracked your way into show business.


Phoebe Buffay: I can't believe you tried to move the green ottoman.

Chandler Bing: Thank God, you didn't try to fan out the magazines. She'll scratch your eyes right out.

Monica Geller: You guys, I am not that bad!

Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, you are, Monica. Remember, I lived with you? You were a little... you know...

Monica Geller: That is so unfair!

Ross Geller: Oh, come on! When we were kids, yours was the only Raggedy Ann doll that wasn't raggedy.


Rachel Green: Am I being a total laundry spaz? Am I supposed to use one machine for shirts and another for pants?

Ross Geller: Have you never done this before?

Rachel Green: Well, not myself. But I know other people that have. Okay. You caught me. I'm a laundry virgin.

Ross Geller: Don't worry. I'll use the gentle cycle.


Ross Geller: Today's the day Carol and I first... consummated our... physical relationship. Sex.

Joey Tribbiani: You told your sister that?

Ross Geller: Believe me, I told everyone. I better pass on the game. I'm just gonna go home and think about my ex-wife and her lesbian lover.

Joey Tribbiani: The hell with hockey! Let's all do that!


Monica Geller: Hey, Joey. What would you do if you were omnipotent?

Joey Tribbiani: Probably kill myself.

Monica Geller: Excuse me?

Joey Tribbiani: Hey, If little Joey's dead, then I got no reason to live.

Ross Geller: Joey, om- nipotent.

Joey Tribbiani: You are? Ross, I'm sorry. I had no idea. I thought it was a theoretical question.