Luke Skywalker: 3PO, tell them if they don't do as you wish, you'll become angry and use your magic.
C-3PO: But, Master Luke, what magic? I couldn't possibly.
Luke Skywalker: Just tell them.
C-3PO: (C-3PO speaks to Ewoks...) You see, Master Luke? They didn't believe me, just as I said they wouldn't. (Luke makes C-3PO float) Wait, wait. Put me down! Help! Somebody! Somebody, help! Master Luke! R2, R2, quickly! Thank goodness.
Luke Skywalker: Thanks, 3PO.
C-3PO: I never knew I had it in me.
(C-3PO is translating what Jabba says...)
C-3PO: Oh, dear. His High Exaltedness, the great Jabba the Hutt, has decreed that you are to be terminated immediately.
Han Solo: Good. I hate long waits.
C-3PO: You will therefore be taken to the Dune Sea and cast into the Pit of Carkoon, the nesting place of the all-powerful Sarlacc.
Han Solo: Doesn't sound so bad.
C-3PO: In his belly, you will find a new definition of pain and suffering, as you are slowly digested over 1,000 years.
Han Solo: On second thought, let's pass on that, huh?
Luke Skywalker: I seek an audience with Your Greatness to bargain for Solo's life. (Jabba laughs) With your wisdom, I'm sure that we can work out an arrangement which will be mutually beneficial and enable us to avoid any unpleasant confrontation. As a token of my goodwill, I present to you a gift, these two droids. (gestures at C3-PO and R2-D2)
C-3PO (to R2): What did he say?
Luke Skywalker: Both are hard-working and will serve you well.
C-3PO: This can't be! R2, you're playing the wrong message.
Finn: Doesn't Artoo back up your memory?
C-3PO: Oh, please. Artoo's storage units are famously unreliable.
Rey: You know the odds better than any of us. Do we have a choice?
C-3PO: If this mission fails... it was all for nothing. All we've done... all this time.
Poe Dameron: What are you doing there, Threepio?
C-3PO: Taking one last look, sir... at my friends.
Finn: Where's the wayfinder?
C-3PO: I am afraid I cannot tell you.
Poe Dameron: 20.3 fazillion languages, you can't read that?
C-3PO: Oh, I have read it, sir. I know exactly where the wayfinder is. Unfortunately, it is written in the runic language of the Sith.
Rey: So what?
C-3PO: My programming forbids me from translating it.
Poe Dameron: So, you're telling us the one time we need you to talk, you can't?
C-3PO: Irony, sir. I am mechanically incapable of speaking translations from Sith.
(The Falcon shakes...)
C-3PO: Sir, it's quite possible this asteroid is not entirely stable.
Han Solo: Not entirely stable? I'm glad you're here to tell us these things. Chewie, take the professor in the back and plug him into the hyperdrive.
C-3PO: Sometimes I just don't understand human behaviour. After all, I'm only trying to do my job.
C-3PO: We're Republic. We belong to Senator Amidala. Don't shoot. Don't shoot!
Commander Wolffe: I can't believe it.
Master Plo Koon: You know these droids, Commander Wolffe?
Commander Wolffe: Yes, sir. We transported them to Master Gallia's ship after we left the planet Aleen.
C-3PO: Yes, Commander Wolffe. How have you been, sir? We have been on quite an adventure.
Master Plo Koon: Well, I'm certain Wolffe would love to hear about it.
Commander Wolffe: Uh, actually, sir...
C-3PO: Excellent! It's a long story.
Commander Wolffe: Uh...
C-3PO: And you won't believe it.
Commander Wolffe (to Master Plo): Sir, excuse me...
C-3PO: I hardly believe it myself. It all started when...
(R2-D2 is chirping)
C-3PO: No, Artoo, I will tell the story. No one understands you, anyway. (R2-D2 beeping) It's only proper. I am the one who solved the riddle, I should be the one to relay the story. I will, of course, report on your individual heroics. Do you think Senator Amidala will hold...
Commander Wolffe: As soon as we rendezvous with Master Gallia, we're off-loading those two.
Sinker: I couldn't agree more, sir.
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