100+ Best 'Young Sheldon' Quotes: "Mighty Little Man." | Page 8 of 10 | Scattered Quotes

Young Sheldon Quotes

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(George Sr. is running for paper so Meemaw can write him her recipe)

Mary Cooper: That's the fastest I've seen him run.

Sheldon Cooper: It's the only time I've seen him run.

Dr. Hodges (NASA): You have to understand, Sheldon, that while your math is-is theoretically correct, we don't have the technical capability to execute it.

Sheldon Cooper: So I'm ahead of my time?

Dr. Hodges (NASA): Well... it would appear so.

Sheldon Cooper: All right, call me when you catch up.

Sheldon Cooper: Was Ms. Ingram upset I wasn't in class?

Tam: Actually, she was happy. She even did a little dance.

Sheldon Cooper (calling a bank): I'm interested in taking out a second mortgage. I'm nine years old. Why do you ask? That's called age discrimination, Dorothy, but I'm willing to let it slide.

Sheldon Cooper: Dad, can we afford a computer?

George Cooper Sr.: You do my taxes. What do you think?

Sheldon Cooper: Never mind.

Sheldon Cooper (to George Sr.): I don't need a calculator, Dad. I am one.

George Cooper Sr.: You think Sheldon's right?

Mary Cooper: About what?

George Cooper Sr.: The punting and the math.

Mary Cooper: I should think so. He's been doing our taxes since he's six years old. We never been audited.

George Cooper Sr.: That's true.

Mary Cooper: He even got us that nice refund last year.

Sheldon Cooper: Statistically, always punting on fourth down makes no sense.

George Cooper Jr.: Statistically, you're a dumb-ass.

Sheldon Cooper: When the Aggies give up the ball on their own fiveyard line, the opposing team has a 92% chance of scoring. When they punt from deep in their own territory, the other team still has a 77% chance of scoring. But since they convert on fourth down 50% of the time, the math says they should never punt again.

Meemaw (to Mary): Okay, you can tell me, who's his real daddy?

Sheldon Cooper (to Tam): What I find interesting is how many supervillains are scientists. Doctor Octopus, Doctor Doom, Lex Luthor, Green Goblin, the list goes on and on. So if the world doesn't respect me, I might change sides.

Sheldon Cooper (narrative): I didn't have to read many comic books to understand that every superhero had a weakness, something they had to overcome through an extraordinary act of courage. For Cyclops, it was the loss of Jean Grey. For Rogue, it was human touch. For me, it was food that required chewing. So if I truly was a mutant, I would have to do the same. On this day, I would not be defeated. Because this was the day I became... The Chewer. Just like that, I overcame my fear of choking. All that was left was my fear of dogs, birds, insects, germs, hugging, button fly pants, rivers, ponds, lakes, oceans, estuaries, corduroy, root vegetables, squeaky balloons, tinted windows, take a penny, leave a penny, fireworks, potbelly stoves, dust bunnies, that fuzz on peaches.

George Cooper Sr. (to Mary): Sheldon's fine. You know what he's like. If someone took him, I'm sure they'll bring him right back.

Sheldon Cooper (narrative): As fate would have it, the comic I picked up was called X-Men. Young mutants with incredible powers who were feared and misunderstood by the entire world.

Sheldon Cooper: Hey, it's about me.

Sheldon Cooper: You said he didn't create the sun until day four.

Pastor Jeff: Yeah.

Sheldon Cooper: So how could there be light the first three days?

Pastor Jeff: God is light.

Sheldon Cooper: So God's a photon?

Pastor Jeff: God's what made photons possible.

Sheldon Cooper: And what day did he do that?

Pastor Jeff: I would think day one.

Sheldon Cooper: How could you count the days...?

George Cooper Sr. (whispering to Mary): If I grab my chest and keel over, maybe we can get out of here.

Mary Cooper: That's a terrible thing to say.

Pastor Jeff: ...because the first day had just begun.

Sheldon Cooper: So, before the Big Bang?

Pastor Jeff: There was no Big Bang. There was only the Word.

Sheldon Cooper: Was the word "kaboom"?