Young Sheldon Quotes

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Meemaw: Maybe y'all are being a little selfish about this.

Mary Cooper: Selfish? We're thinking of him.

Meemaw: Well, that's all well and good, but maybe you should be thinking about the whole world. I mean, what if Einstein's parents had held him back? We wouldn't even have the... Well, I was gonna say atomic bomb, but there's probably a better example.

Mary Cooper: He's nine years old.

George Cooper Sr.: Oh, come on, you can't measure him in Earth years.

Math Teacher: ... and so the square of sine plus cosine equals one. (Sheldon raises his hand) Sheldon.

Sheldon Cooper: I don't want to embarrass you, so I'm going to give you a moment to think about what you just said.

George Cooper Sr.: Sheldon forged a letter to get out of P.E.?

Mary Cooper: Looks like it.

George Cooper Sr.: How about that.

Mary Cooper: Don't be proud of him.

George Cooper Sr.: Can't help it. First time he ever seemed like my kid.

Sheldon Cooper (narrative): I don't know if other supervillains started their careers by getting out of P.E., but that's where I began. Emboldened by my faux hernia, I started taking books out of the library... without getting the cards stamped. Before you judge me too harshly, I always brought them back on time. I was a rule-breaker, not a lunatic.

Sheldon Cooper: What about the truth?

George Cooper Jr.: What about it?

Sheldon Cooper: It's supposed to set us free.

George Cooper Jr.: Who told you that?

Sheldon Cooper: The Bible.

George Cooper Jr.: Since when do you care about what's in the Bible?

Sheldon Cooper: When it helps me win an argument.

Mary Cooper (to George Jr.): I'm gonna ask Jesus to help you get a good grade on that test.

Sheldon Cooper: Shouldn't you have asked him before he took it?

Mary Cooper: The man rose from the dead... I think he can fix a test after the fact.

Sheldon Cooper (narrative): It was at that moment I decided I was not cut out for teaching. I consoled myself with the knowledge that I was wonderful at everything else.

Sheldon Cooper (narrative): I didn't realize until years later that my father was only asking questions about lightning and thunder to cheer me up. In fact, he would often pretend to be dumb just to make me feel better.

George Cooper Jr.: Looks like rain.

Sheldon Cooper (narrative): My brother, on the other hand, didn't have to pretend.

Mary Cooper: You're a good dad.

George Cooper Sr.: If I don't kill one of them before Sunday, I'm a good dad.

Mary Cooper: Let's talk about food.

George Cooper Sr.: No need to. He likes his meat cooked to at least 165 degrees, except for chicken, which is 180. The different foods can't touch each other on the plate. Ketchup and mustard must come out of a packet. No bottles.

Mary Cooper: What about his issues with spaghetti?

George Cooper Sr.: That's a trick question. He likes spaghetti.

Mary Cooper: All right, I guess you got this.

Sheldon Cooper (narrative): My plan was coming together. I just needed to get on the shuttle so I could finally escape this ridiculous planet. Spoiler alert, I'm still here.

Sheldon Cooper: Moth! Moth!

George Cooper Sr.: Sheldon, it's just a butterfly.

Sheldon Cooper: How is that any better? Butterfly, butterfly!

Mary Cooper: George. You have to make an effort. Young boys who don't spend time with their daddies grow up to be oddballs.

George Cooper Sr.: Honey, I hate to tell you, but that ball is already pretty odd.

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