100+ Best 'Young Sheldon' Quotes: "Mighty Little Man." | Page 5 of 10

(The Cooper family is hidden because of the nearby tornado)

Mary Cooper: In the name of Jesus, I place a hedge of protection around this house and my family. I command this storm to skip over our home in Jesus' name. I wish peace to every single person in this room and declare that not one of us will get hurt in this storm, in Jesus' name!

Sheldon Cooper: Pray harder!

(After the tornado is gone...)

Sheldon Cooper (narration): The good news was most of our neighborhood was spared. The bad news: My mother thought she had something to do with it.

Sheldon Cooper: Hello, Randall. I would like to apply for a job.

Randall: You would?

Sheldon Cooper: Yes. I need to earn money so I can apply to Harvard.

Randall: I thought about going to Harvard, but then I realized The Shack is my passion.

Sheldon Cooper: So can I work here?

Customer: Excuse me. How much RAM does this computer have?

Randall: Um, I can check on that for you.

Sheldon Cooper: It comes with 640 kilobytes, but it's expandable up to 768. Well?

Randall: Do you even have a résumé?

Sheldon Cooper: No, but I have a report card that'll knock your socks off.

Customer: And what's the processor speed?

Sheldon Cooper: It has the Intel 8286, so ten megahertz.

Randall: Sorry, Sheldon. I think it's against company policy to hire little kids.

Sheldon Cooper: But people say I'm like an old man all the time.

Randall: Hey, I'm one of 'em, but the answer's still no.

Sheldon Cooper (narration): When people wonder why Radio Shack eventually went out of business, you can point to this moment.

Mary Cooper: It's interesting that an adult would need his mother to sign a consent form.

Missy Cooper: And here we go.

Sheldon Cooper: I don't need you to sign it, the school does.

Mary Cooper: So you're saying even the school doesn't think that you're mature enough to make all your own decisions.

Sheldon Cooper (narration): In that moment, I was so angry with her, I almost opened the jar.

Georgie Cooper: Hey, now that you're treating him like an adult, can I have his allowance?

George Cooper Sr.: That allowance is for chores, which you already don't do.

Georgie Cooper: Come on. We all know I'm your favorite.

Meemaw: You're not even his third favorite.

Quote from Young Sheldon 1x18 - Sheldon Cooper: What are you doing? Mary Cooper: Confiscating your comic books. You can have them back when you're 18. Sheldon Cooper: You're taking Casper the Friendly Ghost? Mary Cooper: Ghosts are sacrilegious. Nothing friendly about that. Sheldon Cooper: Very well. There's one more book that belongs in the box, filled with adultery, genocide, and even human sacrifice. (give her the Bible) Mary Cooper: You think you're so smart.

Sheldon Cooper: Did you ever have a bully when you were growing up?

Mary Cooper: Have you met your grandma?

Mary Cooper: Regarding this jiu-jitsu stuff, you should know that a man's not supposed to raise his hand to a woman.

Sheldon Cooper: Oh, I won't. I don't want to hurt myself again.

Quote from Young Sheldon 1x17 - Herschel Sparks: I don't know what to tell you, George. I mean, is it, is it possible your son has a little crush on her? George Cooper Sr.: I don't think he's wired that way. Herschel Sparks: Are you saying that he's a... George Cooper Sr.: No, no, I'm saying he's a bookworm. Unless she's math or a dictionary, he ain't interested.

George Cooper Sr.: The little Sparks girl?

Mary Cooper: You're kidding. She seems so sweet.

Georgie Cooper: He says she slaps him around, takes his lunch money. She even put a tadpole down his shirt.

Meemaw: Poor kid, he tucks in those shirts.

(They go spy on her through the fence)

Mary Cooper: She looks harmless.

Meemaw: She's cute. So she probably gets away with stuff. I'm like that.

Mary Cooper: Sweetie, is someone bothering you?

Sheldon Cooper: Yes.

Mary Cooper: Who is it?

Sheldon Cooper: I'd rather not talk about it.

Mary Cooper: No, I want a name right now. (to Missy): Have you been hurting him?

Missy Cooper: Only with my words.

Sheldon Cooper (on school intercom): Attention, students and faculty. This is Sheldon Lee Cooper. We're taught that hard work pays off, but that's not true. I came up with a solution to save Earth from killer asteroids, and lost the science fair to SueAnn Ludlow, and her frizzy hair machine. But it wasn't just me who lost, we all lost. Wake up, people. The system's broken. Real innovation isn't valued. Nowadays, it's all about flash and style. I blame MTV. Luckily, my parents can't afford cable. I urge you all to rise up. They can't send everyone to the principal's office. Chew gum in class, use a number one pencil, go nuts. This is Sheldon Lee Cooper signing off. Live long and prosper.

Quote from Young Sheldon 1x16 - Sheldon Cooper: I'll be in my room. Mary Cooper: Oh, come on, Shelly. You still got an honorable mention. Sheldon Cooper: Stop reminding me. Mary Cooper: I hate to see him so upset. George Cooper Sr.: Well, give him a little time, he'll calm down. Sheldon Cooper: Fiddle-faddle! Meemaw: The F word. He's real mad. Sheldon Cooper: Poodle poop! Meemaw: Okay. Somebody's got to teach this kid to swear, it's embarrassing.

Sheldon Cooper (narration): And so, our little social circle grew from two to three. An early example of how people are just drawn to me.

Meemaw: What do you think, George? Is it time to have "the talk" with him?

Missy Cooper: What talk?

Mary Cooper: No talk. Nobody's talking.

Sheldon Cooper: If "the talk" is in regards to human reproduction, I already understand how that works.

Mary Cooper: How do you know that?

Missy Cooper: I told him.

Mary Cooper: Oh, Lord.

Sheldon Cooper: Whoa. That girl just took a book on geostatistics.

Tam: Yeah, so?

Sheldon Cooper: That's not required reading for any science course.

Tam: Maybe she wants to squash a spider with it.

Sheldon Cooper: No, look, she's reading it. Who is this mystery woman?

Tam: Should we invite her to have lunch with us?

Sheldon Cooper: I don't know. So far, it's just been you and me, and we know that works. Do we really want to mess with success?

Tam: We could think of it as an experiment.

Sheldon Cooper: Oh, you do know how to push my buttons.

Tam: All right, go ask her.

Sheldon Cooper: Why me?

Tam: Your lack of testosterone makes you adorable to women.

Sheldon Cooper: I can't argue with that.

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