The Big Bang Theory Quotes

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Sheldon Cooper: I see why you turned it off. That guy sounds like an idiot.

Penny Hofstadter: Honey, that's you.

Sheldon Cooper: Don't be silly. My voice is deep and sonorous. Like a Caucasian James Earl Jones. "Luke, I am your father." See?

Sheldon Cooper: I found the perfect wedding date.

Amy Farrah Fowler: That's terrific!

Sheldon Cooper: No, it's not. It was May 19, 1996. We would have had a lovely wedding.

And our honeymoon would have coincided with the first appearance of the Hale-Bopp comet.

Amy Farrah Fowler: Sheldon, you were 16.

Sheldon Cooper: And in Texas... no one would have batted an eye. Oh, wait, it's no good. That's the day that Jon Pertwee, the third Doctor Who, died.

Amy Farrah Fowler: And it's in the past!

Leonard Hofstadter: Sheldon's a complicated man.

Amy Farrah Fowler: He said "whatev."

Leonard Hofstadter: Give him a brain scan... that might be a tumor.

Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: I just met this woman. Why don't I wait a little and get to know her? Maybe I won't like her, and then I'd be happy to ruin her life with Stuart or Raj.

Howard Wolowitz: That's all I ask.

Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz (about new coworker): She's new in town, and I want to make her feel welcome. And let her know the office is full of liars before everyone tells her I'm mean.

Amy Farrah Fowler: We just need a weekend date that's completely boring and uneventful.

Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Too bad you didn't get your ducks in a row, 'cause tonight would have been perfect.

Sheldon Cooper: It's not just a date... it's a textbook optimization problem. There is a perfect date... just like there's a perfect room temperature and a perfect dessert.

Penny Hofstadter: Mm. There's no perfect dessert.

Sheldon Cooper: Yellow cake in the shape of a dinosaur with chocolate frosting, a scoop of vanilla ice cream on the side, not touching. You'll see. You'll have it at our wedding.

Leonard Hofstadter: Are we running there? Because watching drunk Sheldon run would be the highlight of my life.

Leonard Hofstadter: Physics is all we're cut out for. I mean, if we weren't physicists, w-what would we be?

Howard Wolowitz: I don't know. Popular?

Penny Hofstadter: As far as I can see, science is dead, 'cause Leonard killed it.

Sheldon Cooper: On the bright side, after working together for 15 years, you finally get to hear me say, "You were right."

Leonard Hofstadter: Oh, yeah, you did.

Sheldon Cooper: How's it feel?

Leonard Hofstadter: Mm, given I might be unemployed, bittersweet.

Ms. Davis: I'm gonna need you to make a statement saying that you misspoke, and that you're confident the physics community is close to a major breakthrough.

Leonard Hofstadter: You want me to lie.

Ms. Davis: Look, Dr. Hofstadter, I'm counting on you. I think that you are the smartest physicist at this university.

Leonard Hofstadter: Really?

Ms. Davis: See? Lies. They're not that hard.

Sheldon Cooper (about Leonard): He publicly maligned the love of my life, Lady Physics.

Howard Wolowitz: You might not want to mention that to Lady Fiancée.

Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: I'm obviously pregnant.

Sheldon Cooper: Well, you never said it to my face. And the last time I assumed a woman was pregnant, it did not go over well.

Penny Hofstadter: Yeah, I'm still mad at you.

Sheldon Cooper: You were drinking water instead of wine. What was I supposed to think?

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