100+ Best 'Lucifer' Quotes (TV Show): "It's Good to be Bad." | Page 16 of 24

Chloe Decker: You must have been upset that Maze caught you.

Lucifer Morningstar: Mm. Perhaps you hated her. Hated her enough to frame her.

Suspect: No. Maze is all right. After she got me, she bought me a beer.

Second suspect: She taught me how to make a shiv out of a toothbrush. And you better believe it came in handy.

Third suspect: The nice thing about Maze... she doesn't judge. She's a nice lady.

Ella Lopez: I hate beach murders. So mean. It's, like, just let people swim.

Chloe Decker: Lieutenant, we need you on this case.

Lucifer Morningstar: And I normally love threesomes.

Ella Lopez: They totally boned. (they = Chloe and Pierce)

Lucifer Morningstar: Miss Lopez, please don't be vulgar. The detective doesn't... bone.

Ella Lopez: Seriously, do you not see the epic fireworks? There's more chemistry over there than in my lab. And they just went to the Axara concert. It's a natural aphrodisiac.

Lucifer Morningstar: Well, if you're a pimply millennial, perhaps, but the detective is a grown woman with sophisticated tastes. Trust me, she's not so easily won over.

Ella Lopez: Oh, my God. You are totally freaking out right now.

Lucifer Morningstar: What?

Ella Lopez: About this coming between you and Chloe.

Lucifer Morningstar: Don't be preposterous. I'm not freaking out about anything.

Ella Lopez: It's okay. Okay, I-I get it. You're afraid that they're gonna start spending all their time together. You know, joining each other at crime scenes, bantering over dead bodies. And where does that leave you, right?

Lucifer Morningstar: I assure you, Miss Lopez, that is the least of my worries. The chemistry in there is just a... a flash in the pan.

Ella Lopez: Exactly. A completely hot flash in the pan. Lucifer, what you and Chloe have is on a total other level.

Lucifer Morningstar: Exactly. Nothing is changing.

Ella Lopez: Nope. Nope.

Chloe Decker: What were you thinking, tackling somebody with a knife?

Lucifer Morningstar: It's not me I was worried about, Detective.

Chloe Decker: Okay, the only reason I'm agreeing to this is hiding Axara at your penthouse is an unpredictable choice. But, listen, if there's even the slightest hint that she is unsafe, your duties are revoked.

Lucifer Morningstar: Right.

Chloe Decker: What?

Lucifer Morningstar: Just, you said "duties."

Chloe Decker: I know what you're doing. Our bomb scare made you realize just how dangerous this job is. And that you and I could lose each other. At any time. So you're focusing on other people, you're keeping your distance as a way of protecting yourself. And you know what, Lucifer? That's cool. If you need to "reverse-Oprah" me just to feel less afraid, then by all means, knock yourself out.

Lucifer Morningstar: What? I am not afraid. Just realized I've been a tad myopic lately. Why not spread the love?

Chloe Decker: Hmm.

Lucifer Morningstar: I mean, everyone deserves a little Lucifer.

Chloe Decker: How generous of you.

Lucifer Morningstar: Thank you very much.

Lucifer Morningstar: I've decided to take myself out of the spotlight. My Father's spotlight, to be exact.

Linda Martin: So, no more killing Pierce to get back at your dad?

Lucifer Morningstar: Correct. I mean, that whole "mark of Kane" thing was so dreary, so nihilistic. There are far better ways to spend my time.

Linda Martin: Oh?

Lucifer Morningstar: Yes. Well, I could brew my own artisanal beer. Take a nude painting class. Buy that pet shark I've always wanted.

Lucifer Morningstar: I know I promised to help you end your curse, but I'm afraid we need to dissolve our unholy alliance.

Marcus Pierce: Why?

Lucifer Morningstar: The risk is too great. I mean, I don't mind putting myself in danger, but the detective? If she had died, it would have been my fault.

Marcus Pierce: But you're the Devil, you always keep your word.

Lucifer Morningstar: I do. So I hope you understand how difficult a decision this was. And yet, oddly, the easiest I've ever made.

Marcus Pierce: Well, I'm not done. Abel's how my curse started, he's got to be the way it ends. As long as he's alive, I still have hope. (Abel gets hit by a car) No!

Abel (to Charlotte): Do you know how many sheep I possess? Enough for two wives. Enough to feed our offspring and our offspring's offspring.

Lucifer Morningstar: If Abel's Hell was constantly changing, then this may just feel like another Hell loop to him. He may have no idea he's actually alive again.

Marcus Pierce: Do you remember where he would start his loop?

Lucifer Morningstar: Yes.

Mazikeen: Hmm. Do you know who he reminds me of? (points at Lucifer) Total poon hound. You want to know where Abel is... ask yourself. Where would caveman Lucifer go?

Marcus Pierce: Wait, back up. My brother is in Hell?

Lucifer Morningstar: Yes, of course. In fact, he's our oldest tenant.

Marcus Pierce: I knew it. Do you know how many times I've tried to tell people Abel is the asshat? No one ever believes me.

Quote from Lucifer 3x16 - Lucifer Morningstar: Once upon a time, there were two brothers... Kane and Abel. They fought, as brothers often do, over everything. Marcus Pierce: What's that supposed to be? Are we shaking hands or holding spiders? Lucifer Morningstar: That's you and your brother pummeling each other over a pet rock. And here's you two scamps tugging on both ends of a snake. Marcus Pierce: That's not how it happened. Lucifer Morningstar: Well, artistic license, my friend. The point is that you were always at each other's throats. Until... you fought to the death. You killed Abel and became the world's first murderer. Now, the part where my father marks you, cursing you to walk the earth for eternity, it's tricky to draw...

Lucifer Morningstar (to Chloe): You know, high school reunion's a very popular torture in Hell.

Lucifer Morningstar: Daniel. Your head is mostly empty.

Dan Espinoza: Huh?

Lucifer Morningstar: Exactly. And yet, you manage to do this improv thing. How do you come up with stuff on the spot like that?

Dan Espinoza: Well, the first rule of improv is "yes, and..."

Lucifer Morningstar: Yes and what?

Dan Espinoza: That's the name of the technique.

Lucifer Morningstar: Right. I've heard you talk about it before, but I don't actually understand what it means.

Dan Espinoza: Well, you agree with whatever's being said... yes. And then you say the first thing that comes to your mind... and.

Lucifer Morningstar: That makes no sense. But I'm desperate, so I'll try anything. Yes, and.

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