Zahra Bankston Quotes

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Zahra: You might be lousy at keeping secrets, kiddo, but I'm not.

Alex: Zahra, I could kiss you!

Zahra: Touch me and die.

Alex: I hope Henry was watching. I could feel him watching. He does this thing when he's worried. Furrows his eyebrows. It's the cutest thing. God, I miss him.

Zahra: Oh, my God. I just have to do everything around here. (takes out a phone from a drawer) Shaan Shrivistava, this is Zahra Bankston. Look, I know we said we'd only use these phones in an emergency. Well, welcome to that emergency. I've got the first son in my office, mooing over the prince like a cow in labor, and I'm not gonna get any work done until you put these two lovesick homosexuals on the phone with one another. I don't care what any of those wrinkled white men at Buckingham Palace have to say about it. I want you to march your skinny, perfect a$$ over to the prince, hand him your phone, or so help me God, you will never see me naked again.

Zahra: I'm going downstairs, and... you better be dressed and in the lobby in five minutes so we can get your mother reelected.

Alex: I'll be there.

Zahra: And as for you, Little Lord F**kleroy, you get your a$$ back to merry old England right now. I want you chewing on a godd*mn crumpet by sunset. And if anyone sees you leave this hotel, I will Brexit your head from your body. You got me?

Henry: Loud and clear.

Zahra: Your Royal Highness. (bows to Henry, as she's leaving, she continues to mumble...) Unbelievable. They don't pay me enough for this sh*t.

Zahra: Would it make any difference if I told you not to see him again?

Alex: No.

Zahra: Every time I see you, it takes another year off of my life.

Alex: Please don't tell my mom.

Zahra: Seriously? Alex, we are in a hotel crawling with reporters, in a city filled with cameras, on the precipice of the biggest event of the campaign, in a race so close it could be arrested for assault, and you're asking me not to tell your mommy on you?

Alex: Well, I haven't told her yet.

Zahra: Oh, gee, kid, I'm sorry to interrupt your process of becoming, but you're the one who decided to put your d*ck into the heir to the British throne.

Henry: Well, technically, I'm the spare.

Zahra: Not talking to you, sir.

Henry: Okay.

Zahra: How long has this been going on?

Alex: Since New Year's.

Zahra: Oh, God. And who knows about this?

Alex: Literally no one but you. And the Secret Service.

Henry: And Percy.

Alex: Right, and Nora.

Henry: Oh, and I told my sister.

Alex: Aw, I didn't know that.

Henry: Yeah, she was really happy for us.

Alex: Oh, I can't wait to see her again. She's really...

Zahra: Okay. Shut up, okay? The both of you. I need to think.

Zahra: There is no getting out of this.

Alex: Oh, yeah? What if I set myself on fire?

Zahra: We'd ship the ashes to Heathrow.

Zahra (to Alex): You are going there to work. No hookups, no partying. You can hate Prince Henry all you want, but the minute you see a camera, you better act like the sun shines out of his a$$ and you have a vitamin D deficiency.

Alex: Can I just point out that the royal family are purely figurehead? They serve no elective role whatsoever.

Zahra: Oh, unlike you, whose role is clearly spelled out in Article Nothing of the U.S. Constitution!

Zahra: This is a fact sheet on Prince Henry. Memorize it.

Alex: He's not six-foot-two. And does he get a fact sheet on me?

Zahra: Yes. And I can assure you that making it was one of the most depressing moments of my career. And I once saw Mitch McConnell eating a banana.

Ellen: Darling, you've done some pretty stupid things in your day, but this...

Alex: Takes the cake?

Ellen: Oh, you hear that, Zahra? He's opening with a joke.

Zahra: Maybe he can host the Correspondents' Dinner next year.

Alex: Are you two in a fight now?

Zahra: No. Why would you think that?

Alex: Oh. I just thought because—

Shaan: It's fine. This is why we set rules about the personal-slash-professional lines at the outset of the relationship. It works for us.

Zahra: If you want a fight, you should have seen it when I found out he had known about you two all along. Why do you think I got a rock this big?

Shaan: It usually works for us.

Zahra: Yep. Plus, we banged it out last night.

(Zahra and Shaan high-five each other.)

Zahra (to Alex): Shut up and let me get some sleep before we have to deal with the rest of this. I'm running on nothing but black coffee, a Wetzel's Pretzel, and a fistful of B12. Do not even breathe in my direction.

Zahra: Look, I'm only going to say this once, and if you ever repeat it, I'll have you kneecapped. I'm rooting for you, okay?

Alex: Wait. Zahra. Oh my God. I just realized. You're... my friend.

Zahra: No, I'm not.

Alex: Zahra, you're my mean friend.

Zahra: Am not. Don't speak to me for the next six hours. I deserve a f**king nap.

Table of Contents:

Top 10 Quotes by Zahra Bankston from Red, White & Royal Blue (Movie)

  1. “I can assure you that making it was one of the most depressing moments of my career. And I once saw Mitch McConnell eating a banana.” (to Alex)
  2. “You can hate Prince Henry all you want, but the minute you see a camera, you better act like the sun shines out of his a$$ and you have a vitamin D deficiency.” (to Alex)
  3. “Where is she? Hello, hello? Little missy?”
  4. “It’s all chill? You hook up with some rando the night before your mother’s acceptance speech. You don’t have her sign an NDA, of that I’m certain, and then you let her bring her phone in here, transmitting God knows what to God knows who.” (to Alex)
  5. “Oh, gee, kid, I’m sorry to interrupt your process of becoming, but you’re the one who decided to put your d*ck into the heir to the British throne.” (to Alex)
  6. “Every time I see you, it takes another year off of my life.” (to Alex)
  7. “If anyone sees you leave this hotel, I will Brexit your head from your body.” (to Henry)
  8. “Unbelievable. They don’t pay me enough for this sh*t.”
  9. “You might be lousy at keeping secrets, kiddo, but I’m not.” (to Alex)
  10. “Touch me and die.” (to Alex)

 

Top 10 Quotes by Zahra Bankston from Red, White & Royal Blue (Book)

  1. “You can hate the heir to the throne all you want, write mean poems about him in your diary, but the minute you see a camera, you act like the sun shines out of his dick, and you make it convincing.” (to Alex)
  2. “Henry’s your new best friend. If somebody asks about him, I want to hear you gush like he’s your f**king prom date.” (to Alex)
  3. “I will lock you in your room for the next year if I have to, and you can take your finals by f**king smoke signal.” (to Alex)
  4. “You really are determined to get shoved out of an emergency hatch one day, huh?” (to Alex)
  5. “Oh my God, did I do this? I never thought… when I set it up… oh my God.” (to Alex about Henry)
  6. “We don’t have time to deal with this, and your mother has enough to manage without having to process her son’s f**king quarter-life NATO sexual crisis, so—I won’t tell her.” (to Alex)
  7. “You need to get back to f**king England now, and if anyone sees you leave, I will personally end you. Ask me if I’m afraid of the crown.” (to Henry)
  8. “Look, I’m only going to say this once, and if you ever repeat it, I’ll have you kneecapped. I’m rooting for you, okay?” (to Alex)
  9. “Shut up and let me get some sleep before we have to deal with the rest of this. I’m running on nothing but black coffee, a Wetzel’s Pretzel, and a fistful of B12. Do not even breathe in my direction.” (to Alex)
  10. “If you want a fight, you should have seen it when I found out he had known about you two all along. Why do you think I got a rock this big? Plus, we banged it out last night.” (to Alex about Shaan)

 

Zahra Bankston is a character from Red, White & Royal Blue

Red, White & Royal Blue Quotes

Red, White & Royal Blue Quotes

You can also read quotes from the book (Red, White & Royal Blue Book Quotes).

Zahra Bankston works as The Deputy Chief of Staff to the president of USA Ellen Claremont.

Zahra Bankston is played by actress Sarah Shahi.

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