Tyrion Lannister: What sort of accent is that? Shae: Foreign.
Tyrion Lannister: What sort of accent is that?
Shae: Foreign.
Tyrion Lannister: Last night a Moon brother stabbed a Stone Crow over a sausage. Three Stone Crows seized the Moon brother and opened his throat. Bronn managed to keep Shagga from chopping off the dead man's c*ck, which was fortunate, but even still Ulf is demanding blood money, which Shagga and Gunthor refuse to pay. Tywin Lannister: When soldiers lack discipline, the fault lies with their commander. Tyrion Lannister: Surely there are ways to have me killed that would be less detrimental to the war effort.
Tyrion Lannister: Last night a Moon brother stabbed a Stone Crow over a sausage. Three Stone Crows seized the Moon brother and opened his throat. Bronn managed to keep Shagga from chopping off the dead man's c*ck, which was fortunate, but even still Ulf is demanding blood money, which Shagga and Gunthor refuse to pay.
Tywin Lannister: When soldiers lack discipline, the fault lies with their commander.
Tyrion Lannister: Surely there are ways to have me killed that would be less detrimental to the war effort.
Shagga: How would you like to die, Tyrion son of Tywin? Tyrion Lannister: In my own bed, at the age of 80 with a bellyful of wine and a girl's mouth around my cock.
Shagga: How would you like to die, Tyrion son of Tywin?
Tyrion Lannister: In my own bed, at the age of 80 with a bellyful of wine and a girl's mouth around my cock.
Tyrion Lannister: I'm a vile man, I confess it. My crimes and sins are beyond counting. I have lied and cheated... gambled and wh*red. I'm not particularly good at violence, but I'm good at convincing others to do violence for me. You want specifics, I suppose. When I was seven I saw a servant girl bathing in the river. I stole her robe. She was forced to return to the castle naked and in tears. If I close my eyes, I can still see her t*ts bouncing. When I was 10 I stuffed my Uncle's boots with goatsh*t. When confronted with my crime, I blamed a squire. Poor boy was flogged and I escaped justice. When I was 12 I milked my eel into a pot of turtle stew. I flogged the one-eyed snake. I skinned my sausage. I made the bald man cry into the turtle stew, which I do believe my sister ate. At least I hope she did. Once I brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel... Lysa Arryn: Silence! Robin Arryn: What happened next?
Tyrion Lannister: I'm a vile man, I confess it. My crimes and sins are beyond counting. I have lied and cheated... gambled and wh*red. I'm not particularly good at violence, but I'm good at convincing others to do violence for me. You want specifics, I suppose. When I was seven I saw a servant girl bathing in the river. I stole her robe. She was forced to return to the castle naked and in tears. If I close my eyes, I can still see her t*ts bouncing. When I was 10 I stuffed my Uncle's boots with goatsh*t. When confronted with my crime, I blamed a squire. Poor boy was flogged and I escaped justice. When I was 12 I milked my eel into a pot of turtle stew. I flogged the one-eyed snake. I skinned my sausage. I made the bald man cry into the turtle stew, which I do believe my sister ate. At least I hope she did. Once I brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel...
Lysa Arryn: Silence!
Robin Arryn: What happened next?
Tyrion Lannister: The Eyrie. They say it's impregnable. Bronn: Give me 10 good men and some climbing spikes... I'll impregnate the b*tch. Tyrion Lannister: I like you.
Tyrion Lannister: The Eyrie. They say it's impregnable.
Bronn: Give me 10 good men and some climbing spikes... I'll impregnate the b*tch.
Tyrion Lannister: I like you.
Bronn: Your first? You need a woman. Nothing like a woman after a fight. Tyrion Lannister (looking at Catelyn): I'm willing if she is.
Bronn: Your first? You need a woman. Nothing like a woman after a fight.
Tyrion Lannister (looking at Catelyn): I'm willing if she is.
Tyrion Lannister: I had nothing to do with the attempt on your son's life. Catelyn Stark: The dagger found-- Tyrion Lannister: What sort of imbecile arms an assassin with his own blade? Rodrik Cassel: Should I gag him? Tyrion Lannister: Why? Am I starting to make sense?
Tyrion Lannister: I had nothing to do with the attempt on your son's life.
Catelyn Stark: The dagger found--
Tyrion Lannister: What sort of imbecile arms an assassin with his own blade?
Rodrik Cassel: Should I gag him?
Tyrion Lannister: Why? Am I starting to make sense?
Tyrion Lannister: I have a tender spot in my heart for cripples, b*stards and broken things.
Jon Snow: Why do you read so much? Tyrion Lannister: If I'd been born a peasant they might've left me out in the woods to die. Alas, I was born a Lannister of Casterly Rock. Things are expected of me. I must do my part for the honor of my house, wouldn't you agree? But how? Well, my brother has his sword and I have my mind. And a mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone. That's why I read so much, Jon Snow.
Jon Snow: Why do you read so much?
Tyrion Lannister: If I'd been born a peasant they might've left me out in the woods to die. Alas, I was born a Lannister of Casterly Rock. Things are expected of me. I must do my part for the honor of my house, wouldn't you agree? But how? Well, my brother has his sword and I have my mind. And a mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone. That's why I read so much, Jon Snow.
Jaime Lannister: Tell me you're not thinking of taking the black. Tyrion Lannister: And go celibate? The wh*res would go begging from Dorne to Casterly Rock. No, I just want to stand on top of the wall and piss off the edge of the world.
Jaime Lannister: Tell me you're not thinking of taking the black.
Tyrion Lannister: And go celibate? The wh*res would go begging from Dorne to Casterly Rock. No, I just want to stand on top of the wall and piss off the edge of the world.
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