Sheldon Cooper Quotes

Latest quotes added:

Sheldon Cooper (narrative): As fate would have it, the comic I picked up was called X-Men. Young mutants with incredible powers who were feared and misunderstood by the entire world.

Sheldon Cooper: Hey, it's about me.

Sheldon Cooper: You said he didn't create the sun until day four.

Pastor Jeff: Yeah.

Sheldon Cooper: So how could there be light the first three days?

Pastor Jeff: God is light.

Sheldon Cooper: So God's a photon?

Pastor Jeff: God's what made photons possible.

Sheldon Cooper: And what day did he do that?

Pastor Jeff: I would think day one.

Sheldon Cooper: How could you count the days...?

George Cooper Sr. (whispering to Mary): If I grab my chest and keel over, maybe we can get out of here.

Mary Cooper: That's a terrible thing to say.

Pastor Jeff: ...because the first day had just begun.

Sheldon Cooper: So, before the Big Bang?

Pastor Jeff: There was no Big Bang. There was only the Word.

Sheldon Cooper: Was the word "kaboom"?

Sheldon Cooper (narrative): Despite what it looks like, I didn't pray to God that night. I prayed to Blaise Pascal. My thinking was, if he was right about the existence of God, then he could pass along my request for my dad to get better.

Sheldon Cooper: Oh, no. We're going to jail.

Missy Cooper: Georgie's going to jail. I'm saying I was kidnapped.

Meemaw: Your Pop-Pop used to have little chest pains all the time.

Sheldon Cooper: Didn't he die of a heart attack?

Meemaw: Well, for insurance purposes, yes.

Meemaw: I want to teach you somethin'. Look at your cards, and then look in the mirror.

Sheldon Cooper: Hey, I'm smiling.

Meemaw: Uh-huh. And what does that tell me about your cards?

Sheldon Cooper: That I like them?

Meemaw: Attaboy. Now... look at my face. Tell me what you see.

Sheldon Cooper: That you're old.

Meemaw: It's a good thing I love you.

Tam: Are you into rocketry?

Sheldon Cooper: I started with water propulsion, worked my way up to solid fuel, then went back to water after I set our garage on fire.

Tam: Nice.

Sheldon Cooper: I also tried to get some uranium and build an atomic engine, but that stuff's hard to find.

Tam: Probably for the best.

Missy Cooper: 95, 96, 97. 98. 99, 100... (counts brush strokes through her hair)

Sheldon Cooper: You missed 11 numbers.

Missy Cooper: I don't need to be good at math. I have beautiful hair.

Sheldon Cooper: That's the saddest thing I've ever heard.

Sheldon Cooper: I need to learn how to make a friend.

Librarian: Aw, honey, you having a hard time adjusting to high school?

Sheldon Cooper: I'm having a hard time adjusting to Earth.

Sheldon Cooper (to Amy): Everyone knows the best foreplay is rigid adherence to a strict schedule.

Sheldon Cooper: You know, we did get dressed up and come all the way to City Hall.

Amy Farrah Fowler: What are you thinking?

Sheldon Cooper: I have always wanted a permit to dispose of hazardous waste.

Amy Farrah Fowler: Let's do it.

© 2024 Scattered Quotes

Up ↑