50+ Best 'Number Five' Quotes from The Umbrella Academy | Page 3 of 4

Diego Hargreeves: Okay, okay, I'll help you.

Number Five: Thank God.

Diego Hargreeves: After I save Kennedy. And then you swing us back a few decades so I can slit Hitler's throat off with a butter knife.

Number Five: This is why you don't have any friends.

Quote from The Umbrella Academy 2x01 | (Elliott meets Number Five and thinks he's an alien...) Elliott: Tell me, wh... why is it always an anal probe? Number Five: Any closer, and I'll melt your brain.

Number Five: We use my ability to time travel. But this time, I'll take you with me.

Diego Hargreeves: You can do that?

Number Five: I don't know. I've never tried it before.

Diego Hargreeves: What's the worst that can happen?

Number Five: You're lookin' at it. A 58-year-old man inside a child's body, so there's that.

Diego Hargreeves: Oh, what the hell? I'm in.

Klaus Hargreeves: Yeah, whatever. I'm in.

Luther Hargreeves: Me too. Allison? (she nodds yes) What about Ben? (Ben nodds yes too)

Klaus Hargreeves: Great, yeah, he's in.

Number Five: Billions of people are about to die tonight. You can change that.

The Handler: Tonight, tomorrow. So little difference in the scheme of things. Don't you remember the Commission's raison d'etre? What's meant to be is meant to be, or, as I like to say, que será, será.

Number Five: It's bullsh*t in any language.

Quote from The Umbrella Academy 1x10 | Kenny's mother (to Five): Excuse me! Excuse me, it's my son Kenny's birthday today, and... Uh... wouldn't your son be happier playing with kids his own age? Assuming it's okay with your two dads. (meaning Diego and Klaus) Number Five: I would rather chew off my own foot. Kenny's mother: Let's go, Kenny. Diego Hargreeves: If I was going to date a man, you'd be the last man I would date. Klaus Hargreeves: You'd be lucky to get me.

(Five returns Delores to the display at the store...)

Number Five (to Delores): I bet it feels good to be back... amongst your friends. And it's okay, you can... say it. We always were an unlikely pair. This isn't easy for me, Delores, and I... I want you to know that I cherish every single minute I ever shared with you, all 23 and a half million of them. A lifetime. Now look at us. We're lucky enough, we get a second one. Yeah. You are right. I do have a lot of growing up to do. I'll never forget you, Delores.

(On his way out of the store...)

Number Five: Excuse me, miss?

Shop assistant: Yeah?

Number Five: Could you give that mannequin something new to wear? She likes sequins.

Hazel: Think about it like this. If you never time traveled, you never got caught up with the Handler, what would have happened?

Number Five: I guess I would have grown up to be an emotionally stunted man-child like everybody else around here.

Hazel: Well, there you go. Now you can grow up. Good luck.

Quote from The Umbrella Academy 1x08 | Number Five: Hey. Get up. We're going. Klaus Hargreeves: Where? Number Five: To save the world. Klaus Hargreeves: Oh, is that all? Great.

Quote from The Umbrella Academy 1x07 | (Diego jumps to a glass door to get into a house...) Allison Hargreeves: Subtle. Number Five: You know, the door was unlocked. Diego Hargreeves: Yeah, well, my way works just fine. Spread out. Yell if you, uh... you know, you're in trouble. Number Five: Ah, inspiring leadership. Allison Hargreeves: One of the greats.

Allison Hargreeves (to Diego): Be careful, okay? We don't know what Peabody's capable of.

Diego Hargreeves: Yeah, he didn't seem dangerous when I first saw him. Looked kinda scrawny.

Allison Hargreeves: Yeah, well, so are most serial killers and mass murderers. I mean, look at him. (gestures at Five)

Number Five: Thanks.

Diego Hargreeves: Good point.

Allison Hargreeves: Do you have any idea how insane this sounds?

Number Five: You know what else is insane? I look like a 13-year-old boy. Klaus talks to the dead, and Luther thinks he's fooling everybody with that overcoat. Everything about us is insane. It always has been.

Klaus Hargreeves: He's got a point there.

Number Five: We didn't choose this life, we're just living it. For the next three days, anyway.

Number Five: So, the apocalypse is in three days. The only chance we have to save our world is, well, us.

Luther Hargreeves: The Umbrella Academy.

Number Five: Yeah, but with me, obviously. So if y'all don't get your sideshow acts together and get over yourselves, we're screwed. Who cares if Dad messed us up? Are we gonna let that define us?

Number Five: Okay, Luther, but be careful. I mean, I've... I've lived a long life, but... you're still a young man. You got your whole life ahead of you. Don't waste it.

Number Five: Jesus, Luther, grow up. We're not kids anymore. There's no such thing as good guys or bad guys. There's just people, goin' about their lives. But when the world ends, all those people die, including our family. Time changes everything.

Diego Hargreeves: We just wanna protect you.

Number Five: Protect me. I don't need your protection, Diego. Do you have any idea how many people I've killed? No. I'm the Four frickin' Horsemen. The apocalypse is coming.

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