Mobius: If you think too hard about where any of us came from, who we truly are, it sounds kinda ridiculous. Existence is chaos. Nothing makes any sense, so we try to make some sense of it. And I'm just lucky that the chaos I emerged into gave me all this... My own glorious purpose. 'Cause the TVA is my life. And it's real because I believe it's real.
Loki (about a jet ski magazine): Why do you have that?
Mobius: Because they're awesome.
Loki: I suppose they are.
Mobius: Yeah. You know, some things... Actually, most things in history are kinda dumb, and everything gets ruined eventually. But... in the early 1990s, for a brief, shining moment, there was a beautiful union of form and function, which we call the jet ski, and a reasonable man cannot differ.
Loki: You ever been on one?
Mobius: No... No. I think a TVA agent showing up on a jet ski on the Sacred Timeline, that would create a branch for sure.
Loki: It'd be fun, though.
Mobius: Yeah, it'd be really fun.
Mobius: Did you watch any of the training videos you were supposed to?
Loki: Well, as many as I could stand. Your TVA propaganda is exhausting.
TVA Soldier: And what do these do?
Loki: Reset charges prune the affected radius of a branched timeline, allowing time to heal all its wounds. Which sounds like a nice way of saying disintegrate everything in its vicinity.
Mobius: He's on it.
Loki: I watched the videos. I mean, some of them.
Mobius: We're looking for a Loki. A variation of this guy. A type we should all be very familiar with, because the TVA has pruned a lotta these guys, almost more than any other Variant. And no two are alike. Slight differences in appearances, or not so slight. Different powers, although, powers, generally include shape-shifting, illusion-projection, and my favorite...
Loki: No, they're two completely different powers actually.
Loki: Illusion-projection involves depicting a detailed image from outside oneself, which is perceptible in the external world, whereas duplication-casting entails recreating an exact facsimile of one's own body in its present circumstance, which acts as a true holographic mirror of its molecular structure. But you already knew that.
Mobius: Okay, take a breath. Noted. We're gonna break into two teams, including myself and Professor Loki.
Mobius: Listen, I can't offer you salvation, but maybe I can offer you something better. A fugitive Variant's been killing our Minutemen.
Loki: And you need the God of Mischief to help you stop him?
Mobius: That's right.
Loki: Why me?
Mobius: The Variant we're hunting is... you.
Loki: I beg your pardon?
Loki: I don't enjoy hurting people. I... I don't enjoy it. I do it because I have to, because I've had to.
Mobius: Okay, explain that to me.
Loki: Because it's part of the illusion. It's the cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear.
Mobius: A desperate play for control. You do know yourself.
Loki: A villain.
Mobius: That's not how I see it.